Hello Fellow Beloved Brothers and Sisters,
I'm in another family situation again, this time it left Mom depressed and easily irritable. Dad is feeling okay though, but he too seems down.
You see, we have a local panhandler who goes around begging money. I'm unsure as to whether he's homeless or is just doing this to get money off of people. Of course either way, it doesn't make him any less lost, does it?
Well, I had dealings with this man before I was saved, and I still did give him some money. After that first time, my parents taught me that he was just doing that to get money off of people, that he's lying, etc. I mean, I still don't honestly know what to believe, but I do know Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."
The night before last night, one of my prayers was that I would be given the opportunity to help someone in need, and would you believe Jesus gave me that opportunity?!
Yesterday, my parents and I decided to try a recently remodeled Burger King, and we were all eating and talking and just getting along fine. That's when the panhandler came in and asked my Dad for help. Dad, knowing who this man was, sharply reply, "NO!" Instead of me getting up and saying, "Brother, I can do more than help you. If you would like, I can tell you about the way to Life Everlasting", I told Dad, "You should show that man some compassion." It basically started an argument about the man, and then I mentioned the magic words, "A good witnessing opportunity," and boy what a commotion that caused. However, there wasn't any yelling until we were on the way home.
Mom asks, "What if the person ignores you?" I said, "Better to give them something to think about than nothing at all, and it's time to move on." Mom asks, "What if the person says 'f off'?" I said, "Then it's time to move on." "What if the person slaps you in the face?" "You turn the other cheek" They scream, "That's ridiculous! Jesus didn't mean it like that! People will shun you! People won't like you! You're throwing your life away! The idea of you going to college is not just to learn, it's for you to make some friends!" (You mean like the pair of vipers poking fun of my fellow brothers and sisters?) I scream, "You don't understand at all about what Jesus commanded us to do! He is my Lord and I love Him with all of my heart! He is my number one concern and I want to do as he commanded!" Mom and Dad rolled their eyes with smirks on their faces, and Mom said, "Oh my G**." I screamed, "Stop your scoffing!" (Now I don't know if this is breaking Commandment number 5 or not, but I already confessed through prayer. I may as well, since Jesus wants me to confess any sin to Him!)
So, we get home, the purpose of which was to drop me off so I can study psychology and they can go grocery shopping. I went upstairs, weeping, needing to connect to Jesus through prayer, when I heard the door open. I went downstairs to see what the matter was, and then it was two against one, Mom upset and crying, Dad level-headed and calm. Mom screamed that I cared more about the panhandler than her, that "those websites you're on are turning you against me!" Dad told me stories of his attempts to witness! He actually tried witnessing long ago, but became discouraged and gave up.
Not to go off the subject, but the odd thing is, the commotion also gave me ample opportunity to discuss about why I object to the Harry Potter movie, that Jesus said to avoid all appearances of evil, and that "Why would a Christian be caught dead in a movie about the occult?"
After all was said and done, they left for the grocery store, and I prayed non-stop for at least an hour. I was weeping and upset. I don't know if my parents are truly saved or not, or if they're blind. I was upset that a good witnessing opportunity was ruined, one that I prayed for!
To be honest, these past couple of days have been really trying, and the temptation to give up is really great, but the fear of the One Who can toss me to the pits is even greater, and my love for Him far exceeds even my fear.
So here are some questions that have arised from the incident. My mother did ask, "How will you support yourself?!" My question to you all is, how do you support yourself financially besides God giving you what you need, or is everything provided by God? (I'm sorry if the question is personal. My apologies if it is, and you needn't answer it. I do know from firsthand experience that God gives what is needed to those who ask.)
The next question I have is, can somebody be saved, misinterpret the Scriptures, and not attempt to save the lost? Only a True God can know the hearts of any individual, and guess what, I'm not He! I'm simply His servant (or want to be so badly). But didn't He say, "You'll know them by their fruits"? My parents have this view that witnessing is by example, not by "being so irritating people will want to punch you". That "you'll witness through your music". (Then they mention Danny Gokey as an example of a Christian leading by example. Right.) Is this really true, or is this what I think it is, a worldly view on what witnessing "should" be? Should not witnessing be both by example and reaching the lost?
My final question is, are there any ways to witness without my parents finding out? By that, I mean, ordering a bunch of tracts or New Testaments to leave in clever locations? Is this a good thing to do, or is this simply a cop out from what witnessing should be about? This question, I'm not too sure about.
Either way, any help is, as always, appreciated! God bless you all.
