To mourn most before God — for those lusts which appear least before men.
Others cannot mourn in secret for public sins — but we should mourn in public for our secret sins. That must be sought with repentance, which has been so long lost by disobedience. Outward acts are most scandalous among men — but inward lusts are most atrocious before God.
Reader! if you would know the heart of your sin — then you must know the sins of your heart! "For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are the things that defile a man!" These streams of defilement which appear in your life — do but show what a fountain of wickedness there is in your heart! Even the "thought of foolishness in sin!" "When sin has conceived, it brings forth death!" There is no sin so little — as not to kindle an eternal fire! Sin’s first-born is death — and its last-born is Hell.
Though repentance is the act of man — yet it is the gift of God. It requires the same power to melt the heart — as to make it. As we are deeply fallen from a state of innocence, so we should rise to a state of penitence. Those sins shall never make a Hell for us — which are a hell to us. Some people do nothing more — than make work for repentance; and yet do nothing less — than repent of their works. They have sin enough for all their sorrows — but not sorrow enough for all their sins. Their eyes are windows to let in lusts — when they should be flood-gates to pour out tears!
When godly sorrow takes possession of the house — it will quickly shut sin out of doors. There must be a falling out with our lusts — before there can be a genuine falling off from our lusts. There must be a sincere loathing of sin in our affections — before a true leaving of sin in our actions. It is a hearty mourning for our transgressions, which makes way for a happy funeral of our corruptions!
Sinner, you have filled the book of God with your sins — and will you not fill the bottle of God with your tears? Remember, that when Christ draws the likeness of the new creature, His first brush is dipped in water: "Unless you repent — you shall all likewise perish!" Is it not better to repent without perishing — than to perish without repenting? Godly sorrow is such a grace, that without it — not a soul shall be saved; and with it — not a soul shall be lost! Is it not therefore better to swim in the water-works of godly repentance—than to burn in the fire-works of divine vengeance? Do not think that the tears which are shed in Hell — will in the least abate the torments which are suffered in Hell!
Repentance is a priceless grace — for it is the bestowment of a priceless Savior. "God exalted Him to His own right hand as Prince and Savior that He might give repentance and forgiveness of sins." As a Prince He gives repentance — and as a Priest He gives a pardon. Our humiliation — is the fruit of His exaltation. As He was abased for the sinner’s advancement — so He was exalted for the sinner’s abasement! Remember, sinner, if your heart is not broken in you — your guilt is not broken from you. If you lay not your sins to heart — that you may be humbled; God will lay your sins to your charge — that you may be damned. Though repentance is not a pardon’s obtainer; yet it is a pardon’s forerunner.
He who lives in sin, without repentance — shall die in sin, without forgiveness. There is no coming to the fair haven of glory — without sailing through the narrow strait of repentance. Christ rejoices over those as blessed — who mourn over themselves as cursed. "Blessed are those who mourn — for they shall be comforted." Out of the saltiest water — God can brew the sweetest cordial. The skillful bee gathers the best honey — from the bitterest herbs. When the cloud has been dissolved into a shower — there soon follows a glorious sunshine. The more a stone is chiseled by the hand of the engraver — the greater the beauty of the gem. By groans unutterable — the Lord ushers in joys unspeakable.
None do more sing in the possession of Christ, than such as most lament the departure of Christ. Usually their joys — are commensurate to their sorrows. A tender heart is like melting wax — ah what choice impressions are made upon such soft dispositions!
A Christian should mourn more for the lusts of the flesh — than for the works of the flesh; for the sin of our nature transcends the nature of all our outward sins. Carnal sins defile the soul by the body — but spiritual sins defile the soul in the body. Many people can mourn over a body from which a soul is departed — but they cannot mourn over a soul whom God has deserted! Alas! What is the bite of a flee — compared to the bite of a lion? What is a spot in the face — compared to a stab in the heart? Inward diseases are least visible — and yet most fatal. A man may die of an internal cancer — although a spot never appears on his body.
Sin in the soul, is like Jonah in the ship — it turns the smoothest water into a troubled ocean. We must mourn for sin on earth — or burn for sin in Hell! It is the coldness of our hearts — which kindles the fire of God’s anger. "They will look on Me whom they have pierced and mourn for Him as for an only son. They will grieve bitterly for Him as for a firstborn son who has died!" Christians! the nails which pierced Christ’s hands — should now pierce your hearts! You should now be deeply wounded with godly sorrow, for having so deeply wounded Him with your ungodly sins! It should grieve your spirits — to remember how much you have grieved His Spirit.
A believer puts on the sackcloth of contrition — for having put off the garment of perfection. As the sugar-cube is dissolved, and weeps itself away—when dipped in wine—likewise do our hearts melt under a sense of divine love. Our language at such a season is, "O that we should be such base children — to such a blessed Father!"
Man must be convinced of sin — before he can truly repent of sin. Unbelief in the heart is like the worm in Jonah’s gourd — an unseen adversary. Unbelief is least visible — but most hurtful. Unbelief is the worst of robbers — it both plunders and wounds the soul. Christ may dwell in the heart — where unbelief lurks — but not where it reigns. If Christ destroys its armor — it becomes as weak as other men. The chief strength in which unbelief trusts — is ignorance! It is no wonder why men sigh so little for sin — when they see so little of sin. They have tears enough for their outward losses — but none for their inward lusts! They can mourn for the evil which sin brings — but not for sin which brings the evil.
Pharaoh more lamented the hard strokes that were upon him, than the hard heart which was within him! Esau did not mourn because he sold the birthright, which was his sin — but because he lost the blessing, which was his punishment. This is like weeping over an onion — the eye sheds tears because it hurts! When the sailing is smooth, the mariner has his heart set on his costly cargo — yet he casts it overboard in a storm. Many complain more of the sorrows to which they are born — than of the sins with which they were born! They tremble more at the vengeance of sin — than at the venom of sin. The venom of sin delights them — the vengeance of sin affrights them!
"The sinners in Zion are afraid; trembling seizes the ungodly!" Why — what is the matter? "Who among us can dwell with a consuming fire? Who among us can dwell with ever-burning flames?" They feared sin — not as it was a black coal which defiled — but as it was a fire which burned them!" A stroke from God’s justice broke the heart of Judas into despair; while a look from Christ’s mercy melted Peter’s heart into tears!
There are two evil things in our sins: the devilishness of them, and the dangerousness of them. Now, take a saint and an unrepentant sinner; the saint says, "What evil have I done?" The sinner says, "What evil must I suffer?" One mourns for the sin — the other mourns for the punishment! The saint grieves because his soul is defiled — the sinner grieves because his soul is damned. Water may gush from a rock — when it is smitten with a rod. But all such streams are lost; for they neither quench the flames of Hell — nor fill God’s bottles in Heaven.
Our whole life should be a life of repentance — and such repentance, as needs not to be repented of. While the vessel is leaking, the pump may be going. Reader, it is an unfavorable symptom, if you can wipe away tears from your eyes — before God has washed away guilt from your conscience. It is better traveling to Heaven sadly — than to Hell merrily! Give me a sorrowful saint — rather than a merry sinner.
Did the rocks rend — when Christ died for sin? And shall not our hearts rend — for having lived in sin? "If we confess our sin — He is faithful and just to forgive us our sin; and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." Did ever words like these drop from the lips of any being — except God? Here, the sinner is desired only to acknowledge the debt — and the mountain of sin shall be canceled. Is it not therefore better to be saved by divine mercy — than to be damned by divine justice? As soon as we are oppressed, and groan under our burden of sin—we are sure to be eased by Christ’s shoulders. If we repent of our offences with sincere grief — the offended Lord joyfully forgives and forgets them all.
Where misery passes undiscerned — there mercy passes undesired. Christ may knock long at such doors — before He gains admittance. He only enters into those — who enter into themselves. "Behold I stand at the door and knock!" Christ oftener comes to the door—than He enters the house. As we knock at His door for audience — so He does at ours for entrance. If Christ is shut out of our heart — our prayers will be shut out of His heart. Why should God show him mercy — who never acknowledged himself guilty? A saint’s tears — are better than a sinner’s triumphs.
Bernard says, "The tears of penitents — are the wine of angels!" When a sinner repents — the angels rejoice! Give me such a mourning on earth — as creates music in Heaven. Many are battered as lead by the hammer — who were never bettered as gold by the fire. Sometimes, that repentance which begins in the fears of Hell — ends in the flames of Hell!
William Secker, 1660
