When are desires of the heart wrong?

Go with the Godly woman that you like and she likes you. Good chemistry starts with that type of mixture.

Would God lead a man to pursue a woman he has no feelings for?

You have to weigh the variables.

For example, why do you like this godly woman? Is she going to save you from yourself because she seems to have it all together spiritually and you don't?

Is she better looking than the other woman?

Why does she like you?

What of this other woman? Is she a believer? What is wrong with her? list both positive as well as the negative.

I try to steer clear of these kind of things lest I give the wrong advice...

Let me come at this from a different angle. Do you feel you must marry this old friend because deep down inside you think it is not spiritual to be excited about this new lady? There are a lot of Christians who believe it is sinful to feel happiness and excitement.

Do you feel compelled within yourself to marry this old friend as some kind of sacrifice to God?

If so... I believe this is your "feelings", but it is not of God. It has more to do with you trying to make yourself feel spiritual. But Jesus came to give you life! And life more abundantly! You should be excited and raptured by the woman you marry!

Is this old friend even interested in you in this way?

I was married before I was ever saved, so I can not speak from experience. However, if this new lady is godly as you say, and your relationship with her brings both of you closer to God... than my suggestion is marry her before she gets away!

As far as attraction... let me say that my wife is the most beautiful creature God ever created. Sorry pal, but neither of these women you are torn between can hold a candle next to my bride! :-)

I have seen lovely women marry some pretty ugly men... and vice versa... and you stand back and wonder what the attraction is. But if you were to ask their spouse they would tell you the other person is the most beautiful thing they ever saw.

I've met a lot of beautiful women in my life who got uglier the more they talked, or the more I got to know them.

Physical attraction is important, but not nearly as important as what's on the inside. I was blessed with a bride who is so incredibly attractive that she turns heads still in her early 40's. But she is waaaaay more beautiful inside. She was like that before she was saved, and even moreso afterwards!

Of course you want to have physical attractiveness to the one you marry. God designed us that way, especially us guys. Women... not as much.

I'm telling ya tho... personally, take a long look at how your relationship with either one of these ladies effects your relationship with God. Marriage is forever. And Israel got in a lot of trouble with God in the OT for marrying outside of His will.

If you marry someone you are not sure about... you may be headed for a heap of trouble and a miserable life. Don't do that to your future children.

I've been married almost 2 decades. That's my advice to you as a young man.

Krispy

Krisp, my man...if you were here, I would hug you. (even though you don't support the Jets)

The Jets finally found a quaterback they can depend on! ... Jake Delhomme!

If y'all want him you can have him... we're done with him down here!

Krispy

Let me concurr with what Redi said... when life settles in and kids come along and life happens... you need more than goosebumps and butterflies. They still happen at times, but love is not warm fuzzies.

Having said that, feelings like that are designed by God, and in the proper context... it is what brings a man and woman together initially.

But when life bears down on you there has to be a deep love and unity that goes way beyond feelings. It's a committment. It's saying "You know, there will be days when you annoy the snot out of me... but I am committed to you for life before God, I'm not going anywhere."

And keep in mind you will annoy her just as much.

Krispy

I don't have any wisdom to give, I hope someone will step up to the plate and offer something more, or perhaps Silo can offer more information because there is a pulling back from it all and just want to be alone and then there is this intimidation. Nothing is flowing, so I am not going to force it.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I met a Godly woman who I want to court, she feels the same...so why do I feel like it shouldn't work out?

"I've hit brick wall after brick wall my whole life and now something like this comes along and I don't know if it's going to work or not because I am so used to seeing failure."

Well brother, if you've thought that, then it's one day at a time and see how things go. And pray together that God's Will will play out. Don't rush and don't elope.

If you've prayed for a godly woman and then God answers it, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that He brought you the goods.

Enjoy the courtship! ;-)