Is it Biblical to grieve or mourn for the loss of a unsaved family member?
Some verses that were given to me were Matthew 8:21-23 and Luke 9:59-62.
What should our hearts and attitudes be towards unsaved members of our family? Do they deserve special attention just because we are related by blood?
with care in Him
ebeth
This person might not understand what the person was asking Jesus when he was asking to go bury his Father.
It was a figure of speech. His father may not have even been dead, but when he did die this person would get the inheritance. Therefore, he is basically thinking to himself, "I'll wait until my father dies and I get the inheritance, and then I'll come follow Jesus".
I believe Jesus knows this person's heart was still set on earthly possessions, and that is why he responded as he did.
In light of that, I don't believe this verse is a valid example. Jesus did not come to destroy all emotion, but he did come to sanctify it. I do not believe it is a sin to weep over loved ones who die, even if they are unsaved.
With care in Christ...
I can't find much scripture; but the sad truth
is that they are lost forever!! We are taught
to grieve with those who grieve and to show
compassion.
I would say those passages don't say it is unbiblical. Looks more like shallow proof-texting and callous indifference to quote those to someone who just lost a family member, regardless of their salvation. Those passages are more talking about priority and allegiance than specific Christian behavioral responses in death situations. If he was talking about funeral ethics and etiquette, than it could be said that Christians should not go to funerals or mourn over the death of Christians. I realize we have hope and don't have to mourn as those with no hope (1 Thess. 4:13), but we are fragile, clay vessels that have been given emotions and our emotions react in a mournful way over death. I think it is almost a mourning over our sin natures and the fact that we have eternity written on our hearts, so from our temporal-humane side, we don't understand death and by default mourn. I'm rambling a little now.
For specific positive examples, I'm not sure. David lamented the death of Saul (I realize Saul could have been saved, but perhaps not). Jesus mourned over Jerusalem knowing they would perish.
As for our hearts towards unsaved family members, I think there should be a special place towards them. Family emphasis is huge in the Bible. God values the family. We should work to see the conversions of this primary sphere of influence. We should always hold them in prayer, minister when possible, and by God's grace demonstrate a Christian lifestyle before them. Just thoughts.
Jesus said to weep with those who weep, he did not qualify the reason as to why. May you have a heart that grieves for the lost. Jesus wept when Lazarus died, and we have no record about his status before God. Your tears for the dead may bring life to those who are not yet totally dead. Your indifference may not...
"It is a time to weep!"
-David Legge
I had a non saved family member who died not to long ago and it was shared with me that as believers we need to be about the living. Does the Bible teach us that Jesus placed a higher importance on Spiritual family above physical family?
What should be our heart concerning unsaved physical family, having communication with them? spending time with them? Is there such a thing as Physical family idolatry?
Also some other verses that I am struggling with.
Matthew 10:34-39
Matthew 19:27-30
Mark 3:31-35
Mark 10:28-30
I realize that I have a lot of questions, probably to many to answer I am just really feeling confused right now. I have another family member who is sick and I am not sure what the correct biblical attitude for me to have is
with care
ebeth
stop and think for a minute, "if you were Jesus, what would be your response to any human need, family or not, than back it up with new testament scripture and the examples Jesus Himself left us in the four gospels of His life and works or deeds here on this earth. I think until one can see how Jesus applied His teachings in life, ie...the things He did in the works, it can be dangerous and even out of balance to apply such scriptures as you quoted with the strictest of applications. To be sure it will take many thoughtful/prayerful hours of study, but in the end you'll have what you need from God and no life storm nor words from man will be able to move you, so dig deep and lay your foundation on the rock.
Dohzman's advice is wisdom. "Call to me and I will show you great and unsearchable things." -Jeremiah 33:3
There is not a time where I was confused about something that God did not answer my prayer and change my heart through his word. I always have to remember though that he will only give grace to me if I am humble and receive what he is telling me.
Although I will say that I am having a hard time connecting the first two verses you referenced in Mathew with your initial question. (I have yet to look up the other two.)
When Jesus warned about marriage and drinking as in the days of Noah, he was warning that people would be uncaring and ignorant about God's coming judgment in the last day just as in Noah's day. Where it is obvious that the Spirit inspired the Lord to comment that people in Noah's day were continuing in all of their common revelries right up until the time of the flood. So also people in the last day will be so nonplussed about God's coming Judgment, they will hardly notice it rising.
At the end of Mathew 19 Jesus is commending those who follow Him in discipleship.
I hope this is helpful, if not please forgive me.
In Christ. For His glory.
Jeremiah
I am sorry my posts probably seemed a bit disjointed. I think its because I am really trying to find understanding in two different situations that both deal with unsaved family.
Just wanted to say thanks though for what everyone has shared. I have been praying about this and will continue to.
in Him
ebeth
Does the Bible teach us that Jesus placed a higher importance on Spiritual family above physical family?
He placed a higher importance upon God, which is why He seemingly berates the physical family. People who are not in your physical family become as though they were when united in Christ. So more are included but that doesn't mean your literal family is excluded from your love, devotion, etc.
What should be our heart concerning unsaved physical family, having communication with them?
Obviously I don't know your circumstances but as general guidelines we should have love, brokenness, servant-hearts, humility, a longing to steer them to Christ, etc. Definitely have communication with them. Pauls says,
"I wrote to you in my epistle not to keep company with sexually immoral people. 10 Yet I certainly did not mean with the sexually immoral people of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world." 1 Cor. 5:9-10
and again
"10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.
12 But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. 13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. 16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?" 1 Cor. 7:10-16
(This is clearly about marriage but I think the heart of God is displayed on the matter of families. As much as depends upon the believer stay in the relationship in order to bring that person to Christ. And realize that your presence is God's grace at work in those people's lives.)
Is there such a thing as Physical family idolatry?
Of course, only because this threat exists with anything other than God Himself.
As for those verses (Matthew 10:34-39, Matthew 19:27-30, Mark 3:31-35, Mark 10:28-30), remember the same Jesus cared enough about His physical mother to declare upon the cross:
"25 Now there stood by the cross of Jesus His mother, and His mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. 26 When Jesus therefore saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing by, He said to His mother, “Woman, behold your son!” 27 Then He said to the disciple, “Behold your mother!” And from that hour that disciple took her to his own home." Jn. 19:25-27
Again, these things I am submitting to you are just broad themes. I don't know the exact situations and heart from whence your questions arise. You will have to seek the Lord and guidance from one you can wholly disclose and confide in.
God bless you in this season.
This discussion is locked.
