Shamefaced said
Thank you for this wonderful testimony, and clarification of your situation. :-)
As appolus said, only you can know what God wants you to do. And after your description of how you felt only a few years ago, I suppose the one thing that comes to mind is, that you really [i]must[/i] keep in step with God in every decision you make, beginning with whether to be reassessed.
It occurs to me that you could look for other ways to make the necessary money, (like you take a second job?) and if you are managing not to use the disability money, pay it back retrospectively.
I'm interested in the username you chose for yourself here, as I can't think of a good reason for a Christian to present that 'face' to the world. Perhaps you feel guilty, or expected to be condemned, but I don't think God is thinking bad things about you. He hates war and violence, and is very tender-hearted towards your needs, after being in such a situation.
Once, I too had something on my mind. It was to contact someone I had not spoken to for ages. It took months to get to the point of ringing them, and they said if I'd called a day sooner, it would have been too soon, but on [i]that[/i] day, they were truly blest. This taught me something about the way God works. He knew [u]when[/u] I was going to make that call, and how it would relate to the other person when I did, and He began the work of prompting me long enough beforehand, for me to be ready to make the call on the 'right' day.
I shared that to show you that obeying God is not a risky business. But, with regard to your condition being medically reassessed, you do need to think long and carefully about any residual effects which you have thought comparatively trivial, but which are, nevertheless, a result of your service.
With these in mind, how would respond if daily life became more pressuring? I wonder too, if your wife - after what you described - is ready to go to work, or, she is still jangled by how distressed you were, and feels she has good reason to worry about how honestly she could commit herself to employment with three young children at home. Or, perhaps both of you could do some part-time work, if you have help with the children from reliable family members.
Is God asking you to trust Him for the money, or, you are willing to move to a less expensive house, or, you do simply see it as a matter of earning whatever money is needed, if your disability is reduced, or removed.
Often we think we know what God is thinking with regard to the solution to a problem, and often there is more than one natural way to solve it, but those are not necessarily what God has in [i]His[/i] mind. As you proceed, do [i]love your wife[/i]. She needs to know that you have not merely moved your sense of duty from one organisation (the Marines), to the Church, while 'home' is falling through the cracks.
This could be a concern of hers - that you might not give up any of your activities, even if she [i]did[/i] go out to work full time. It makes a lot of difference to the woman, to be supported at home, and I think she has valid questions about how 'home' is going to survive without her.
