you know i must say that throughout my christian life i have wrestled with this topic. i have come to the place of just saying okay i am just going to walk by faith and do what seems good to me. then later i will change my mind and wait and try to be lead by God by subtle leading. i will try to live this prophetic type mystic life but i will go back and forth sometimes. i will just do and then see good things happen and then later not see good things happen so i feel maybe the Lord wants me to be more lead by Him. so i try to be lead in everything and i think i see good things and subtle leadings but sometimes things are not so good so i say okay back to just doing and then sometimes subtle things that i think to be leading will just pull me back and just say wait. i am not always sure if these subtle leading are legitimate or what its hard to say. i am sometimes debilitated by them and frozen in indecision because i will think God wants me to do nothing and just wait or ect. i think i know the scriptural way to be but i think that it is still hard to discern spiritually and knowing if those subtle things are actual leading or not. one example i might give from another mans life. he was a revivalist i think maybe bill mccloud (dont think i spelled it right). he was holding a revival meeting and staying in a hotel and he felt the Lord told him not to check into a certain room or something because the enemy was after him to make him look as if he were an adulterer sicne a woman was in that room who sought to skew his testimony so that he could not hold a revival. this was the story though it could be worded better. or a missionary was once bringing something across a border and felt the Lord subtly nudge him to get out of the line to cross and the people who took his place had their bags checked. or i think of maybe hudson taylor or mueller or maybe the book the intercessor or just other situations. does anyone else ever struggle with this and does anyone have any word about this? its a very hard topic i think other things like overcoming sin and laboring in hard work and such are even a much easier topic. it seems easier to overcome evil then it is to try and do God's will when one wants. but maybe this is the way that God wants to work if He is to use us He must make us walk in great faith and dependance and try us and make it deeply relational and we must be a people in tune with our spirit and that often His voice is subtle because our carnal natures are so loud and maybe because the quieter His voice the more faith we must walk by. it just seems there is so much mystery and every time i try to just do i am often most of my walk brought back to this point of seeking to hear and live by these subtle leadings and sometime im not sure if its just because of my emotional weakness that i fall for such things since i tend toward them in wanting to hear from God so desperately.
