A call to.... Marriage?

This may seem to be one of the strangest posts you might have read, but I would like some honest opinions and views here. I am a 24 year old male with the calling of God upon my life... and currently single. I desire God with fervency and am not unwilling to give my life, in it's entirety, to him. I know that he that "finds a wife finds a good thing, and gets favour of the LORD." I know that "It is not good for man to be alone". I know that "It is better to marry than to burn". I'm not going to ask for your opinion on whether marriage is a good thing or not, because I know it is. However I look at scriptures like 1 Cor 7:33 - "But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife." I desire to please God, fervently. I am not above wanting to be martyred for him. Sound extreme? Well that's me. I believe that everything in the Bible is just as much for today as it was for them... miracles and martyrs, revival and revelation, healings and heros of faith. I look at passages like Hebrews 11:35-38, and what God's heros of faith went through. And I look at 2 Corinthians 11:23-33, and I say "Lord I want to give you my all, because you gave me your all". So then, my question is... Is marriage something for me? I understand that there are those called... here's Matt 19:11 But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. 12 For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.So you see, there are those "to whom it is given". There are also "those that have made themselves eunuchs for the Kingdom of heaven's sake", (I looked that up in the Greek and if i remember correctly, the greek word for "eunuch" in this instance is unmarried man, not the *snip snip* kind if you know what I mean).What are your thoughts, on a young man that desires to give God his all and spare nothing? (BTW I only want to hear responses from those that are fervently desiring God also, and on fire... if you aren't an avid fan of Ravenhill and Tozer, don't bother replying please, because you probably don't have the same mindset as myself and others that want to see the book of Acts come alive again). Other than that, all thoughts and opinions are welcome. For the record, my pastors all believe that I should get married, as do most all of my friends, both married and unmarried, and quite a few single ladies in my church. However none of them really have a "fundamentalist" view of this like I have, and such a zeal to do and die for Christ. (Not that I want to die, I want to live, but I am willing to put my neck on the chopping block, not regarding my life, for the gospel's sake...)Thanks again...-JW

In my life, I have seen so many couples brought together by God -couples who balance each other in their service to Him. I think this is key - balance. Certainly, there are a few who are not called to marriage, but most of are not, and most of us need marriage. Besides fulfilling many needs, it saves us from becoming peculiar, and in many, many ways, it helps us be in a position where we can be useful to God. This is a principle that runs from the beginning of the Bible to the end.Wouldn't it be glorious if you had a "helpmeet" to colabour with you in the things of God? The coordination of a Godly couple is one of the most beautiful pictures of Christ and the church.Just my thoughts...Much grace,DanielJ

I am 22 yrs old, and I reached a point in my life where I thought God was preparing me to go at it alone for Him. I never really dated, and then my first serious relationship (about a year ago) left such a bitter taste, I wanted to remain single. Also, I knew what God had called me to, and I was not sure I wanted to subject anyone else to that. I have the same questions. Do I do it, and then God gives me the grace, or does God give me the grace and then I do it? To answer your question, you must simply wait on what he will bring into your life. God brought a woman into my life who will follow me to Africa, or to not have children so we can pursue the gospel. All of this to say, wait on Him. Regardless of what your pastors, families, and friends say. Did Adam have to go to God and say "I need a wife"? No, the Father knew his needs and he met them. Trust that the father knows your needs and he will meet them. Just a warning: Do not do it because you think you are strong enough. Because you are not. That was my mistake, my pride. Do it because you know that God has called you to that, and you long to honor him with your life.

Put God first, He will work out the details about marriage. Zapthycat said: I desire God with fervency and am not unwilling to give my life, in it's entirety, to him. And quoted "finds a wife finds a good thing, and gets favor of the LORD."Bro. First things first. God must be first. You sound as if you have not given this area over to God. Let God have it also and He will take care of this. A wife is the most treasured thing on earth if she is the one God has for you. But the wrong one can be a world of heartache. God knows the one that you need to be yoked with, someone with the same mind and heart as you have. That will desire to serve in the same capacity that you do, or at least in one that compliments your capacity.Don’t be afraid of being single, if that is what God wants, then that is best.Jesus said, “My house shall be called a house of prayer.” Where this may not seem relevant to some, but it is very relevant. Unless we seek the Lord, and His wisdom you will never know God’s true plan for your life. Bounds said that Love for God is impossible without prayer. He is right. We are the house for the Holy Spirit of God. If you (you = God’s house) is not a house of prayer, then how can your home, you and your spouse (and children) be a house of prayer. If you are not a house of prayer, then the church you go to will not be a house of prayer. This is a necessity. I talk to many people, especially young ladies who are praying for their husband. I always tell them to quit. Pray that they will be the wife that a man of God needs. The principle works the same for men. The responsibilities of a husband (and father) far out weigh the desire for companionship and having “needs” meet. A husband is commanded to love his wife as Christ loves the Church. The wife is only commanded to obey. When a wife is struggling with sin, it is the husband’s responsibility to pray for her. When there is a disagreement in the home, it is the husband’s responsibility to pray for God’s wisdom and settle the disagreement, even if and especially if he is wrong. Everything that goes on inside your home is your responsibility. I don’t say this begrudgingly but with a deep understanding of this principle. If you can’t grasp this and cannot accept this as fact, you do not need to get married.

JW,Marriage is a good thing, but just choose wisely my friend! When I was younger, I thought that I just might try to stay single for the Lord, but this would not have been a good idea. You know the part you quoted about it being better to marry than burn? Well I would've most certainly burned. So since being single was really out for a guy like me, the next best thing would be to marry a girl who loved the Lord and believed as I did. This was not an easy task since I, kinda like you, believed in 100% devotion to the Lord (by the way, I still do). I was always looking for a girl who would be willing to spend an hour in prayer on a date, or a girl who would be willing to go street witnessing, or a girl to go visit nursing homes with me. Well as you can guess, this was not an easy search. As time went be I cooled off for the Lord (I was still serving him, but it was with little zeal), it was during this time in my life that I got married. She was a good girl who served the Lord, but it was more out of duty and not out of heart. It seemed that we could never relate on the deep things of God. She wanted to hunger for the Lord, but she just didn't know how. Most of the time this was not a problem. As long as I was living a lukewarm life it didn't bother me. But when the times of fire came, I would find myself frustrated and alone. I just wanted her to know what I knew. Here I am ready to go to any extreme for the Lord living with a wife who is not and a wife who does not understand the burning in my soul. Many times I was sure that I had made a huge mistake, and yet to be honest, I knew that my life was in much better shape than if I had been alone. She kept me accountable in areas in which I needed accountability, and provided some structure and discipline to and undisciplined life. Down deep I could see the hand of God in our marriage. Yet it was still hard to not share the fire of God. I would often try to change her, sometimes through encouragement, and sometimes through criticism, and of course to no avail. Only God can stir a genuine hunger. Praise the Lord he begun to stir!About three months ago, God revived my cool spirit once again. This revival is different than any I have ever experienced. It is deeper and stronger than anything I have ever experienced in my life. The first month of this revival I was once again on my own and spiritually frustrated by my marriage. But this time instead of criticizing her, I started praying for her. I finally gave her to the Lord and gave up trying to change her through sermons or criticism. And finally without any warning, God has set my wife on fire! She understands the burning that is in my soul. We share this fire and hunger for the Lord. We now share a desire to do whatever it takes for the Lord. We pray together and have deep conversations together. I never dreamed that this would happen, and yet it has and it is for real. God has been in my marriage since day one. I couldn't make it without my wife, and yet at the same time the wrong wife could be a terrible mistake. I known a lot of ministries that have been destroyed by the wrong spouse. Bottom Line: Marriage is a good thing if it's to the right person!Seek the Lord and let him guide you.A man who loves his wife,PJ

Ktrek wrote:Marriage is a divine institution and if God allows you to marry someone that person will be just what you need in your life to mature. KevinWhat do you mean if "God allows"?So if I get careless in my mate selection as a Christian, as long as God does not stop my wedding with some divine means, for example, lighting or an audible voice, then that must mean that this is of God and I have married the right person? Nonsence! You are puttig way to much responsibility on God and not enough on his people. We are created to make intelligent choices. And failure to make inteligent choices can result is great consequences later. If I marry for looks and end up with a woman who looks like a queen but is as mean as a snake, I'm sorry, but I don't think that this would be God's plan to work towards my perfection. It would be a terrible mistake that I would pay for the rest of my life and all future ministry for the Lord would be hindered because of my ignorant choice. Due to your previous post, I will however change my wording to say... I have seen a lot of ministries that have been hindered because of a bad choice in marriage, or how about this, I have seen a lot of "servants of the Lord" who have not reached their full potential for the Lord because of their bad choice in mate selection.PJ

I am 40 yrs old and have been married to my lifemate for 20yrs......We were saved together....we were baptised together...and now we are serving /and seeking together. I promise you it is one of the most intense commitments that you will ever make, second only at times to serving Christ fully. But I promise you everyday, good bad and indifferent has been worth every bit of effort put into this marriage. She has trully become my better half...she is my co-warrior in our daily walk together. She is the first person that I will go to to speak with about what God is doing in my heart, she is my sounding board, and the one that can objectively see if what is going on in my life is more ME, and be willing and able to tell me about what she sees. We use each other for purpose of confirmation, if the Lord reveals something to her, she waits for the Lord to reveal it to me, and visa versa fro myself. It is trully amazing when the Lord does this, for it is confirmation that God sees us as one flesh. True she is the weaker vessel, and I am her head..but this relationship has developed through years of mutual respect and admiration and love. The parallels of a husband and wifes relationship to that of Christ and the church are immeasurable at times, thus adding a whole different dimension to my Christian walk that would not otherwise be there. God will give you the desires of your heart according to His will, I have seen men push the issue and jump the gun so to speak and end up in a marriage that consumes the majority of there lives(trying to keep the spouse continually happy, and seeing Gods will bent to the desires of the spouse)and I have seen those wait and allow God to find them the perfect mate. But be warned, all relationships require much, much diligence and sacrifice, be it parent to child, wife to husband, pastor to church...no pain no gain, and just like your walk with Christ it is an ongoing process, always changing and always evolving. The fruit of it all for myself has been a lifetime that has never been boring, we have been blessed with 4 children, and several grandchildren, which God has chosen to use many times to speak to my heart. Through these relationships God has expressed Himself like he could in no other way.thanks scott :-)

Kevin,I was gathering from you earlier post that the very fact that God did not stop us from marrying someone would mean that it must have been "God's will". I must have misunderstood. Just to clear things up, hear is where I stand...I do not believe the it would be God's will for me to marry a non-believer or anyone with whom I would be unequally yoked. I think that it is my responsibility to be in prayer and seek the Lord and make the best choice accordingly.However, if I were to make a huge mistake in my initial choice, regardness of how I might feel about it, it is now "God's will" to stick it out and make the most of it. Your right, divorce in not an option! I'm thankful that my wife and I have "Stuck it out". Somedays it was only our committment God that held us together, but God has been faithful and now it is our love and enjoyment of each other that holds us together. With everything said, I will still say, choose wisely!PJ

Kevin,I think we are thinking alike, just didn't realize it.To many people are always wanting to know God's will for their lives when HELLO! we have a book called the Bible. People expect God to reveal some specific purpose or direcition for their life while ignoring God's general purpose found in his word. If peole will make the Bible the ultimate guide for their life, they will find that the specific details fall in place, or maybe I should say, "work out" as according to Romans 8:28.PJ

I wish to thank you all for your input. Truly your thinking is along the same lines as mine... "if God has called you to it...". I guess in my own carnal way I was looking for a straight up answer *OTHER* than simply being submitted to him and listening to his voice. It's a hallmark of humans to rather have a straight up answer, even if it is difficult, rather than to be submitted and have a relationship to an invisible God. It takes sensitivity to be hearing from God, whereas it only takes ears and eyes to hear what a fellow human might tell us. On a side not, my 3 favorite heros of the Bible... John the Baptist, Paul the Apostle, and of course, Jesus the Christ.... none of them were married. Great prophets like Elijah and Jeremiah were not married. There is no record of any of the 11 apostles besides Peter being married (which isn't to say they weren't). On the flip side, great men like Samuel the prophet, Moses and Isaiah, were married, Hosea was even commanded to marry a prostitute, as were maaaaany others. So basically, I still just don't know. I guess I'll have to find my own personal answer, from my God which still speaks to us personally, regarding our personal problems and dilemmas. :)Thanks again, and God bless you all,J. Wilson