question about a decision

No, it is not a sin to even enter their home - look at how even Jesus was frowned upon for entering the homes and mixing with what was regarded as 'sinful people'

My husband is the only Christian in his family and suffered much when first saved. Recently his mother after 25 years on her own entered a relationship with a lovely man and has moved in with him.
All his family members have lived together before marriage - except us! - we have been the exception here! But I cannot and will not distance myself from his family because they are not living an ideal Christian life, for they are not Christians anyway.
My hubby and I lead by the example of our lives and how we bring up our children.
His family know and will even tell us that our children are so different and there is also a bond of love and respect between us.
After such a sour start to our marriage from his mother because of my Christian background, I have worked hard with her and now experience love from from mum-in-law.
The proudest moment for me was when she told me that she knew it was only my faith had made me the person I am.

Please don't distance yourself from family!

I think I have to agree with Ceri. It is not a sin for you to live with your sister and her boyfriend, even though they are not married. On the other hand, I assume they know you don't condone their decision and believe it to be sin? The more critical part of the decision is what the arrangement is going to do to your relationship with them. Two families living under the same roof can be done, but comes with it's own set of unique challenges. All of the pertinent financial and other details need to be well thought out and worked out ahead of time. Don't love their sin, obviously, but love them in spite of their sin.

I would have to take a different stance here.

If you agree to move in with those who are not following the Word, then you are condoning their style of life through your acceptance of thier living conditions.

My older sister wanted to move in with my family a few years back. She is single, no children and never been married. She has a successful career and is doing as the wolrd would say as "very good".

Before agreeing to allow my sister in our home, I said that there are a few rules that are non-negotiable. First, no men over to the home, regardless if it is friendship, dating or such. With small children in my home (4 under 7years old) they would not be able to understand "the dating scene" and there are way to many possibilities of "no good" that can happen by allowing strange men into our home. The other was no drinking in the home. Even though we are not against alcohol, I felt that it would not be a good standard to open up to my children. These are the two main rules. No need to say that she politely refused to live with us.

When it comes to you moving in with someone that you know is living in sin, you need to recognize what affect thier sin may have on your families lives and the amount of compromise of the Word that your willing to live with. Once you start compromising on different subjects of the Word, it is a lot easier to justify compromising on other points of the Word.

Brother. My suggestion is to move into a small 1 bedroom Apt. or studio with your wife. Will it be hard? Will it be expensive? Will you have small to no amounts of money? Will it be close quarters? Most likely yes to all the above. But... you can stay true to the Word of the Lord while you are doing this.

Don't fall into the trap of thinking that by moving in with them that you will be a "good witness" of the Lord to them. Trust me when I say that you will be a better witness to them by not condoning their way of life. Also, you can move close to them and spend tons of time with them if you would really like to.

Just think about the witness that you will give when your life mimics the Word of the Lord, and not the ways of the world!

Blessings my friend

Brother,

The kid is innocent and has nothing to do with mom and dad not being married or saved.

I believe you said they are not believers and this would be temporary. So if you can go there and let your christian life shine and take this as an opportunity to maybe lead them to the Lord.

You love them don't you. They need Jesus and you can show them the Love of Christ. After a period goes by and God forbid that they would reject your witness but if they do, well then you can move out.

It is just a risk you need to pray about and be lead by the Lord.

Blessings brother whatever you decide.

1 Corinthians 5:9 I wrote unto you in an epistle not to company with fornicators:
1 Corinthians 5:10 Yet not altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go out of the world.
1 Corinthians 5:11 But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat.
1 Corinthians 5:12 For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within?
1 Corinthians 5:13 But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person.

It is appears here to mean that Paul is saying not to keep company with a person who is called a brother if he is still living or goes back to living a sinful lifestyle. Therefore we are to judge them by not keeping company with them showing God’s disapproval. We are reproving those within our fellowship not wanting to bring reproach against Christ.

Those outside are the unbelievers and God is there judge and it is the goodness of God that leads them to repentance. We keep company with them to win them to Christ and for no other reason. We do not fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness but rather reprove them by the light of Christ within us.

We can’t witness to the lost if we distance ourselves from them because they are not living right but we can witness to someone who claims to be a brother but not living right if we distance ourselves from them because they are suppose to know better.

This should be taken in account after –
Galatians 6:1 Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.

This should be carefully followed to those who have been overtaken in a fault.

Just a few thoughts.

rbanks. Agreed with the verses you posted. Who could argue against such?

But keeping company with someone, and moving into thier home is an entirely different thing. Think about it. They worship something other then the Lord. Is that what you want to bring your family up around, especially if you have a choice in the matter NOT to move in?

We lead a house church. There are unbelievers that attend. My wife and I witness to them through the Word, and through our lives. We have not forsaken the lost. Yet, I would not allow an unsaved person to move in with me and my family at this time. We are in the midst of raising our children and teaching them His ways. Why would I bring someone in, full time, who I know does not share the same love for the Lord as we do? Could the unsaved get saved... yes. But my children could be exposed to the workings of Satan himself from this unbeliever.

So, stay in contact with unbelievers. Reach out to them. Love on them. Be a light in the midst of darkness. But unless the Lord leads you directly, separate when it comes to light and darkness. If the Lord doesn't lead you directly, you may be doing this out of your own selfish gain, and not of the Lords.

Miccah
quote-
So, stay in contact with unbelievers. Reach out to them. Love on them. Be a light in the midst of darkness. But unless the Lord leads you directly, separate when it comes to light and darkness. If the Lord doesn't lead you directly, you may be doing this out of your own selfish gain, and not of the Lords.
-quote-

Very much agreed my brother!

Only felt to clarify some things

Thanks!

Miccah, I appreciate your advice on this issue.

Visiting someone vs living with them are two completely different situations. To live with ungogly people will seriously put you at risk for compromise because you will find your convictions challenged at every turn.

My two cents...

Blessings,
ginnyrose

John/Bible4life,

Pls do not move in with them. Stay at your parents place or get a small place (if you can).

Some who advise may/may not have read what you have been going through for the past few years. Even, if you are not facing the 'whether you are saved/or not' situation etc, I also would advise you not to move in with them.

When you move in with them, you have to respect their views as you are guests in their house. However, their way of living will be contradictory to what a Christian belives in. This will cause a lot of friction in you and your wife and possibly with them too (which may lead to arguements between both of you and uneasiness between you and your sister in law's family) and also torment in your heart. Also, you may be influenced to be lax on more and more non-Christian things. You will also likely have to hold your tongue and there may be times when they will try to influence/provoke you to their way of thinking/living and believe me, this has the potential to turn into something unpleasant. Also, your wife is a non-Christian. What happens if your wife seeks the help of her sister and sister's boyfriend to sway you to certain non-Christian things that she disagrees with you or try to influence you that Christ is not real or that you don't really have to work that hard to live a godly life. You already have difficulties in your faith at this time, don't put yourself in a worse situation.

With regards to keeping in contact with them, by all means do so. But keeping in contact with them does not mean staying with them under 1 roof when you have the option of not staying with them.

I understand that your mother is not a Christian, however, at least staying with your parents will generally be easier than staying with a sister/sister in law as the bonds between parents and children are usually stronger than between siblings.

Pls I speak from experience and also from what others have shared with me before.

snufalapagus wrote:

-quote- But if Sister is unsaved, Boyfriend is not either, sounds like a great place to be a living epistles, -end quote-

Snuf... seriously? seriously? I had to read this three times before it sunk in. You are telling someome who has questions about his own salvation, to move into a non-believers home... TO BE A GOOD WITNESS???

Frankly this advice may very well lead the whole group of them to hell.

-quote- known and read of all men, but in this case, your Sister and her boyfriend. -end quote-

Philippians 1:15-17 (NKJV)

Some indeed preach Christ even from envy and strife, and some also from goodwill: The former preach Christ from selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing to add affliction to my chains; but the latter out of love, knowing that I am appointed for the defense of the gospel.

-quote- They might even get you to babysit their kid, to which you can talk to her/him about Jesus, who knows, all kinds of opportunities. - end quote -

Quite possibly the worst advise that I have seen and has no scriptual bearing. You are taking the authority and trust of these parents, who are placing their child in your care, and then you would advise going behind their backs? The ends do not justify the means in this case. Its different if the parents know that you are talking to their kids about the Lord, in this senario, they would not.

What happens when the parents find out what is going on behind closed doors when they are not there? What will their reaction be? What kind of light are you showing these folks by hamstringing them and their children? Not to mention that all your credibility as a Christian would be compromised, and maybe even your place to live.

What happens some day if they did this to your children while you were away, but with a non-Christian religion? You really want to open that door?

Come on man, we are Christians! This advice is what the world would tell people to do.

-quote- Look at it this way.

If you go and live in apartment building. You don't know who is living there. Your neighbor could be two gay guys, and across the hall one guy living with two girls and the rest of the building is housing ten unmarried couples, and your the only light these people have.

Your in missionary territory man!

Shine!! -end quote-

Look at it this way. You will be in the midst of the battlefield. If you are not 100% sure about your salvation and 100% sure and confidant about your beliefs, STAY OUT OF THE BATTLEFIELD, and learn His ways first. If not, your going home in a body bag your first step on the battlefield.

Bible4life,

Read your earlier reply to others here. You did bring up some good points but you are not ready right now to minister to them when you are currently facing so much problems in your faith right now.

How will it sound to non-Christians when you try to convert them to Christianity when you have difficulties reading the bible because you doubt the bible. How are you going to convince them when you can't even convince yourself. What about the panic/anxiety/devil attacks that you so desperately seek help here and elsewhere 1-2 years ago. Are you still being plagued by them? There are so many problems that you are facing now and have been for some time. Strengthen yourself first in the Lord. You can't help/convince others until God strengthens you first.

I really have to say I'm wondering if this is the devil's ploy to get you to stop focusing on what's important by getting busy with the less important things. Your focus should be on reconciling yourself with God, not on trying to show a good example to others (about Godly things etc) when you are not ready yourself.

I agree with learn and miccah on this... I know you've shared much about your struggles with them. You do not have to answer these on this forum but please don't take this as a woman teaching you but more from a motherly standpoint, if that's ok.

1. What is pushing you out of your parents house?

2. Why are you even considering moving to another state?

3. What is your wife saying in all this? You say "your wife and you" are considering but truly, who came up with this idea first?

This is what I would tell my son: In the midst of your problems, why are you considering moving away from your church, your church family AND your natural family? Where ever you go... there you are, the same old you.

How much money have you saved living at your parents place? How much money do you think you will save at someone else's place who doesn't handle money as well as your parents?

I truly believe this: A new state and new house partners is NOT the answer.

God bless you as you weigh this out,

I agree with Micaah, learn and Lysa on this issue...

I think I can promise you one thing if you move in with these ungodly people. You will have conflict, the kind you never dreamed before OR you will succumb to their way of life.

I know from personal experiences and other parents will tell you the same thing. If you have a prodigal child living in your home it is like having a devil living there right under your nose who will buck you at every turn. When this child moved out, there was peace...other parents will tell you the same.

I suggest you and your wife get a place of your own and allow Jesus to be the head of your home. And then you be the head of your wife and allow your wife to be your helpmeet.

ginnyrose