An Open Letter to my Sisters in Christ
Dear Sisters in Christ. Grace and peace to you in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
I intend to write to you about a subject that is very much burning in my heart and that you will unlikely will find expressed inside the realm of modern church life. It is the issue of modesty. Modesty is a word that is applied whenever it comes to choices that express wisdom, tact, and maturity of judgement. Today I would like to express my concerns about women's clothing and appearance in church. I am writing to you as a man who is affected by this issues and I am expressing my thoughts and feeling for many fellow brothers.
Let me open my discourse with the followin verse from 1.John
2:15-16 Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.
For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world.
Summer is at the door and the temperatures are rising. We put our warm winter clothes away and put on lighter clothes. Usually, the choice of lighter clothing will also mean that women will potentially display parts of her body that are concealed during the darker and colder period of the year. Fashion nowadays dictates most womenfolk what to wear and what not. It is tiring and costly to keep up with today's trends. Bony Barbie dolls with body shapes out of reach for most mortal ladies teach you what you are to wear. You may not be able to go for their designer dreams but still their stylistic influence will quickly be adopted by the more budget driven mass market.
There was always fashion and their will always be fashion this side of eternity.. In the last couple of decades we have seen a general trend in fashion and that the fact that clothing aims at attracting men by highlighting their bodily features. It goes even further by appealing downright to the lust of their potential male admirers. For one it is the pressure of modern work life. The women wants to look attractive to make sure she can quickly secure favour with men in powerful positions. They are in a competitive environment and an attractive appearance may give you this little extra edge. There is also a striking biologic reason for it. In today's socio-economic climate, strong family bounds are more and more eroded and give way to relationships that are less committed and fleeting. People get in and out of relationships more quickly. The modern women does not want to be left out and make sure that wherever she goes she can potentially enter a relationship with a man if such a need should arise. I am speaking in general terms about the modern women in the world portrayed by media and seen in reality all around us.
Today there is much talk in Christian circles about contextualization of our faith. They tell you you have to be relevant and do not want to be seen as oddballs who live up to outdated legalistic standards. So go with the flow as long as you stay out of excesses and win people for Christ by showing them that you are just like one of then. You do not want to be a seen as a bible basher and turn people off by the way you dress. Sounds reasonable, heh? Here is my take: If you are follower of Christ you are in stark contrast to the world anyway. There is no way you can avoid to disclose your new identity in Christ. If you are truly saved and filled with the Holy Spirit, everything in and about you will point to your risen saviour. That is a strong statement, but consider, Dear Sister, when you are born-again, you opted to no longer to live for yourself but desire the appearance of your bridegroom Jesus Christ and be found as chaste virgin. You are saved to save others.
It would be good if an older sister would admonish you in these things as she may be more understanding than the male author of this letter though a male perspective on these matters may open you up to a perspective that she cannot take. We men are easily aroused by display of feminine features. The Greek word eros stands for physically attraction between a man and a woman. It was originally ordained by God to help us leave our mother and father and to seek a beautiful damsel. She would become our wife and her bodily features are only for our own exclusive private enjoyment inasmuch as we give our body to her ideally resulting in a number of godly children.
Satan, ever creative to steal, lie and kill perverted the God permitted attraction between husband and wife by suggesting her that she would gain many advantages to by showing her bodily features to the male public. The advantages are clearly seen. I observed in my office that ladies who display their bodily features are more frequented by colleagues and get more opportunities. I myself have interviewed ladies for job positions who showed up in seductive apparel. Satan's strategy for men is to try to make us feel good when we are exposed to female allure. We get flattered, thinking we are irresistible. Our thoughts wonder, our judgement about the real qualities of a particular woman can easily become distorted. In the work place, a man is tempted to give a position or opportunity to a women based on her external features rather then her real qualities and merits. It works as a bribe. In serious cases it may result in an adulterous or promiscuous relationship. The media is full of these stories, in fact they live of these stories. The damage is often great and irreparable. Families break up, divorce, costly lawsuits, dividing of shared property, poverty, bitterness, hurt children and violence or suicide can be the consequence of such behaviour.
We live in a sex-crazed world. In the sixties Satan sent out many of his prophets like the Beatles and Rolling Stones to promote sexual freedom promising freedom from a prudish and outdated morale codex. They worked hard to eliminate decency and modesty. Fashion that would have seen as scandalous in the fifties became accepted and popular, though not wide spread. The mini skirt became an icon of the sixties. Holidays on the beach were not an option for most classes came within the financial reach of the masses. Bikinis appeared on the scene and today are the de-facto beach wear of the average women. In some places they even go further than that. Imagine a women in a bikini beamed back into Victorian times. She would have been either arrested our put into an asylum straightaway.
Lust is one of the major temptations for us men. Lascivious images are all around us. We have to make a conscious effort to not expose yourself to them. A quick glance on an advertising billboard, a thoughtless mouse-click or a TV ad delivers you images with our without your consent. Most men are more or less addicted to internet porn. Living and working in a cosmopolitan city is like moving in a mine field of images that trigger lust in a man and cause him to sin. The first look is unavoidable, if you do not consciously look away but give it a second glance, you have already sinned. Only a man with a firm uncompromising faith can avoid these traps.
The bible exhorts us.
2. Tim 2: 22 Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
How then should Christian 21st century women dress?
1 Timothy 2:9 in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, 10 but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works.
Dear Sisters, you can make a difference in this fallen world. By dressing modestly you can set a admirable example. A women can show that she honours God by concealing those parts of her body that could cause a men to lust after her. She does not have the need to allure men, for she is either committed to her husband, or if she is unmarried, believes that God will provide for her the right one. A godly woman does not have to impress others by making a statement about her wealth or status. Excessive jewellery or make up does not add to her self-esteem. Being esteemed by Christ is all she needs. She does not have to follow the latest trends and does not burden herself in keeping up with the rest of womenfolk. She is not bullied by the global fashion idolatry, she refuses to be dictated by fashion magazines and advertisements what goes and what doesn't.
Does this mean she puts on very base and cheep clothes or wrap herself up in a potato sack from head to toe? Not at all. There is nothing against displaying good taste. Modest clothing does not have to be boring, base or ugly. Neatness and tidiness go well along with modesty. The bible does not give you very clear guidelines what to wear and what not to wear. The New Testament gives us godly principles rather than a set of rules. You now have the Holy Spirit to aid you. May be the following thoughts can help you.
Wear clothes that does not draw attention to yourself.
Keep mandatory dress codes and abide by conventions of your work place.
Dress as a women and do not wear man's clothes Deuteronomy 22:5 (New King James Version)
“A woman shall not wear anything that pertains to a man, nor shall a man put on a woman’s garment, for all who do so are an abomination to the LORD your God.
Imagine you are standing before the Lord Jesus himself.
Pray before you buy new clothes. Is it really necessary?
Mat 6:28 “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, ho w they grow: they neither toil or spin;
So what should we wear then?
So what is modest and what is immodest? Please understand that you do not just dress for yourself but that everybody else sees you in your clothes. Consider how you are effecting others; namely men. I will get more specific here, as for a women you may be unaware what effect your clothes have on other men.
Decollete - This is one of the primary areas a women should take care. A shirt or dress should conceal everything that could make a man stumble. No deep V-cuts, leave the buttons closed. I must say from experience, talking to a woman with a deep decollete is a real challenge. If you look at her face as you would do in any conversation you see more than you should, if you look away you are insulting her, too.
Length of skirt – I suggest you keep your knees covered.
Tight clothing – nowadays there is are a lot of trousers and shirts worn that a very tight. Some are as snug as a second skin and trigger lustful looks of men.
Low waistline trousers – can be extremely embarrassing to look at, especially when you sit down.
High heel shoes Makes you appear long legged and taller. Must be painful to walk in the for a whole day and it deforms your feet. Who do you want to attract anyway?
Why do you have to dress sexy or “kinky” as they call it nowadays? “Kinky” is actually even worse as it has sado-masochistic connotations. This is an invention by the devil and is simply not fitting for a godly woman. You exploit the weakness of your fellow brother, causing him to fall into the sin of lust. Jesus says
Mat 5: 28: But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Do you want to be guilty of causing men to commit adultery with their eyes? Why do you agree to participate in Satan's work? I believe we would have far less incest, rape, perversion, divorce, and adultery if women would dress more modest. Many women unknowingly send signals to men that they misunderstand as an invitation. Of course, the Christian man has no excuse and must master sin, just as Cain was commanded by God.
Hairstyles
The same can be said about hairstyles. You can spend a lot of time and money on hair-styles. Hair dyes, hair-extensions, perms, hair-straightening. So many options to choose from, so many extra worries to have and extra time away from your place of service. Simplicity and natural look is beautiful. The Lord has given you natural hairstyle that you do not have to be ashamed of. Can't you give thanks to the Lord for the hair you have as a natural beautiful covering? (1. Cor 11:15 But if a woman has long hair, it is a glory for her, for her hair is given to her as a covering).
Jewellery
Jewellery shows your social status. The intention behind wearing jewellery is to add value to your natural appearance. What better status can you attain than being a beloved daughter of God? Is your social status among unbelievers still important to you?
Designer Clothes
Designer clothes is a multi billion £ industry. You can spend an enormous amount of money trying to keep up with the latest trend. The models are always in the prime of their youth and courted by young men who made a fortune by the tender age of 25 and drive around in sports cars. They all look as if they have just woken up.
Make up
There is one women in the bible known for her make up. It was Jezebel, the wife of Ahab one of the most evil kings Israel ever had. She actually controlled him. Do you need to make yourself appear younger and more pretty than you are? Are you ashamed of your natural look and appearance? Make up suggests you make up for something that you do not have.
Hygiene and skin care
I recently made a discovery. I eliminated shower gel and shampoo. Guess what: My dandruff is almost gone and my skin is more healthy. I do not want to be tovertly harsh here. There are some products that are good for you and your needs. The bible make mention of applying oil to your skin. God's creation is full of good stuff that can be applied to your skin, but remember, there is a big industry out there manipulating you to buy their products.
Conclusion
Dear sister, allow me to appeal to you. Dress modestly so that you do not cause your brother in Christ to lust after you. Conceal your body parts that are not meant for the public to see. Be content with the way you look. Accept that you are ageing, it is not a shame. Spent your time and money in a godly way. A godly women's inner beauty is timeless and priceless and rare. Natural beauty has nothing to do with character and is short lived. You have far less worries if you do not concern yourself too much with all these things. We live in a fallen world, if you conform to it, you will fall, too. Dear sister, find your satisfaction in serving Christ. His robe of righteousness is never out of fashion and never wears out. As a spiritual virgin, adorn yourself with good deeds rather than with excessive jewellery. Dare to be different, set an example, Christ will honour you for that. A godly husband will be most pleased with such a wife.
Your Brother in Christ
Philip
