The Mary Project

The Following is a plan I came up with a long while back when we saw premartial teen pregnancy occur in our High Schools. I just thought that I would post it for maybe someone to use it and also to let me know if this seems like a good idea or not and if there is anything else I can add. Any input on this would be appreciated.

God Bless,
Matthew

The Mary Project
Pregnant Teen Outreach
We all know that the virgin Mary received persecution for being pregnant out of wedlock at a young age. We still see this in teens today; the coldness of society often cast these girls to the side.
Why outreach them? There is an alarming amount of teen pregnancies in the United States which potentially increases the abortion rate. We must hold on to these girls and protect them from judgment and criticism of this world.
We are here to help, not judge we have all made mistakes.
Phase 1 Introduction
Giving Baby essentials to the teen mothers
•\tDiaper Bag
•\tBaby Wipes
•\tDiapers
•\tBaby First aid kit
•\tBaby Bottles
•\tBaby Manicure Set
•\tBaby Lotion and bath
We will introduce ourselves and the church and show them our support and exchange information.
Phase 2 Support Group
We understand that there are agencies that provide parenting classes but we will act as a support group. I feel there is lack of support for these teens and they are in need of loving and caring people. The support group will be used to get these girls to open up about their pregnancies and to ask questions, comments and concerns about their pregnancy. Also to talk about struggles they are going through.
We will also start up a calling circle for support throughout the week. One girl will be assigned to call another girl in the group they will call approximately in midweek. This will provide us with relationship building and encouragement.
We will invite the fathers of the babies to come to the groups to provide them with information on fatherhood. We will also talk to them as to what their thoughts on the pregnancy might be and their question, comments and concerns are. This will give us a chance to let them know of how important it is for them to step up and take on the responsibility of being a dad.
We will also provide the girls with resources they may not know about such as Healthwave and information about adoption.
Also if any of the girls are having problems with getting things such as cribs and other essentials that cost more we will try and do a fundraiser for the mom to get the money for those things.

Phase 3 Delivery
Once the girls go into labor we will try to have a majority of the group to go and visit the new mom and dad at the hospital with their permission. Providing Flowers, gifts, and Etc.

Phase 4 Follow Up and Child Care
I have also noticed that a good majority of the girls that get pregnant at a young age drop out of high school which in the end leaves them jobless, moneyless and dependent on others. We will provide child care for these girls while they go to school for little to no cost, but only if they stay in school. If they want to continue on to college or get a degree consider continuing the child care for them.

Conclusion
Girls and guys at the teenage level are facing tougher situation as our world gets worse. I also feel that the option of abortion would be eliminated for these teens if they see there is hope. We will be there for them because it is our job as the church to lift up those that are hurting and need help.
This program is aimed to provide awareness and support for young adults about premarital sex and pregnancy. We have seen these patterns occur for too long and it’s time to provide help. We are not condoning premarital sex but simply providing support and looking to the future for these young girls and guys to have a brighter future for themselves and their children.

*edited added Teen and corrected some grammatical errors* :)

It takes a mother's heart to understand
the burdens of being an unwed mother.
If your project is associated with the
church; you will find the schools will
try to keep it out, so be pre-prayered
for this!!

Matthew

I understand the heart behind what you are wanting to do here and I do think there is a need especially to provide love, support, and care to young women who sin and end up in this situation so that they know there is another option besides abortion. However...

We still see this in teens today; the coldness of society often cast these girls to the side.

I was an unwed pregnant teenage mom and I guess before I would write or share to much more I need to pray about this. The one thing that I really caution you on is don't make these young people out to be victims. Don't let the situation cause you to water down or avoid talking about the reality of sin that they are in and the real need they have for Jesus.
_________________

. I also feel that the option of abortion would be eliminated for these teens if they see there is hope.

Also don't be shocked if you find that many of the girls you reach out to still opt for an abortion. Sadly more of these young girls don't want options, they are selfish and living in rebellion, they don't care about the baby growing inside them because they have been told repeatedly its just a blob of tissue, like your tonsils or appendix. If you want to really help them focus on Jesus and their need for Him. Its good to meet physical needs and you should, but so much more important to help them see their spiritual need.
These are just some of my initial thoughts base on my own life and experiences. Ginnyrose is really a good person to talk to about this also.

God Bless
mj

sojourner said "It takes a mother's heart to understand
the burdens of being an unwed mother. If your project is associated with the church; you will find the schools will try to keep it out, so be pre-prayered for this!"

Already have tried they advised me they couldn't even help provide some of the stuff that we wanted to give away. I was even told that it was a great idea but wouldn't receive any support from the schools.

Maryjane said "Don't let the situation cause you to water down or avoid talking about the reality of sin that they are in and the real need they have for Jesus."

I agree and is duly noted :)

"Also don't be shocked if you find that many of the girls you reach out to still opt for an abortion. Sadly more of these young girls don't want options, they are selfish and living in rebellion, they don't care about the baby growing inside them because they have been told repeatedly its just a blob of tissue, like your tonsils or appendix"

I suppose I said eliminate either out of great pride for this idea or an optimistic mindset and I understand that. My wife and I have tried helping on of these girls and she still ended up getting an abortion dispite our efforts to show her the options of adoption and other things.

Thank you for your input it has been helpful :) If ginnyrose is lead to post something I am quite certian it will be helpful as well.

God Bless,
Matthew

I just noticed this post now for the first time...my initial reaction was "where have you been all these years?" But then I read somewhere that you are 22 years old so that is where you have been - you haven't been here long! :-)

Ok, my thoughts - I have worked in this kind of ministry for many years. These thoughts are random.

The best you can do is to teach your young people moral purity! Insist on it! Teach them practical dos and don'ts in female/male relationships. Teach them things like "hands off!" A female has erotic zones that trigger a sexual response - teach them that no male should ever fondle them until they are married. IT IS HANDS OFF! ALWAYS!

Teach them about the dangers of putting themselves in a situation where temptation is more likely to occur..and STAY AWAY from them!

Teach them to guard their eyes, be selective in their reading material.

Teach them to dress modestly. No low necklines for the girls, nor tight clothing that emphasize the erotic zones in the human body. Do not allow the males to wear their pants down to their knees (makes an old woman like me want to get behind them and pull them down - hoping to embarrass them good and proper!) And teach the males to not wear tight jeans that are immodest. Immodest garb invite exploration with eyes and hands.

Matthew, prevention goes a long way in preventing pregnancy. Abstinence is 100% effective. Always. No diseases, no pregnancies ever to deal with. Nor abortions.

Now you want to help the pregnant girl. May I suggest your perception of their wanting help may be more idealistic then realistic. Many that want help are usually those that have an entitlement mentality. In a crises pregnancy ministry you will be dealing with both - this is the reality, you cannot avoid it.

In a crises pregnancy ministry you will learn a few things, most of which will shock you. You will never remain the same. I will say this much that I know I have learned more from my participation in it then any girl I was able to help. How effective I was only God knows - all I did was work to be faithful in the counsel he directed me to give.

Most girls do not want help beyond that of receiving free handouts. They are not interested in any mature ladies mentoring. The center I used to work for has initiated a system where classes are given, rewards given for attendance that can be redeemed in their 'store'. But very few will participate.

OK, so far this post was quite negative. There are always girls who will benefit from this kind of ministry. To reach them you will have lots of discouraging clients and you will never know which one will be the one who will benefit.

There was one nagging idea that followed me during my time there. By counseling a girl to carry the child, am I in any way helping the church society lose their sensitivity to fornication by encouraging this woman to carry her child to term? Most counselors were anti-adoption. (I believe a child like this should be put up for adoption but also know I am dealing with opinion here, not a Biblical command.) I was a lone exception at our center. Allow me to explain something here and read it carefully...

Single parenthood has lost its stigma in the American 'church' because of its frequency in that social circle. A girl has a baby and now her friends crowd around her and "oh" and "ah" the cute little baby! This is maternal instinct at work, given to females by God. The girls will observe this single mom and soon the idea that this is not so bad will take root and they will opt for a child, risking the ostracism of a few old ladies. They will justify their fornication by saying they do not want to marry because so many couples end up in divorce and they do not want to experience that BUT they do want a baby! Most females desire to experience pregnancy at least ONE time. Another excuse to not marry is that the male will be so nice before they marry and then soon afterward he will turn mean resulting in a divorce. The church has relented on their prohibition against divorce and remarriage in recent decades hence the frequency of it in the 'church'. Now how can you combat this mentality?

Brother, if you and your wife are really interested in this ministry, I suggest you find a Crises Pregnancy Center somewhere and volunteer there for a while. It is at best a very difficult ministry. (Most volunteers burn out after two years.) But if God is calling you there, you must go and do it. But you must also realize you may be the one who will get helped the most! and you may not realize it at the time! :-) Just remember what you are doing is standing on the edge of hell warning people to not go there but they will keep on, paying little mind to you. And sometimes it seems as though you can smell the smoke!

God bless you brother.

ginnyrose