Family situation

Some who know me know that last August my dad passed away. There were no services at the time of his death because he had a special request that his ashes be spread out over a favorite spot of his along the coast and it took some time to get things worked out. Anyway I my brother and sister let me know that the services will be soon and that they want me to come along with my boys. I found out that a Catholic priest will be speaking, offering prayer and give a blessing for the deceased or something. I have decided not to attend because I do not support the RCC and do not want to take part with what is planned. This has caused some troubles with my siblings because they are saying I am unwilling to honor my dad and his last wishes. I feel like in this case it better for me to follow what the Lord is showing me then to attend a Catholic service. Just wondering what others thoughts are about this? Anyone else been in this situation?

God Bless
mj

I am a former catholic. The Lord saved me 16 years ago. But I have to deal with catholic family members and it can be difficult.

Some questions to think about: Why do you think attending this service will support RCC? Have you or can you use this as an opportunity to testified to the true gospel?

Thanks for the reply. Its not that I think it would support the RCC its more I have no desire to sit under that kind of speaking, sharing and I do not want my family around it either. Sorry for not being a bit more clear about that. Sadly no there would be zero chances of sharing with anyone of my siblings at this service. They have all made there wishes known and clear. They are closed off completely. I was thinking about what my older brother said about how I should honor my dads dying wishes and him saying I was dishonoring my dad if I don't come. Not seeing this as a way of dishonoring my dad. Not really sure I could do that since he is passed away???

Thanks
God Bless
mj

MaryJane,

Excellent advice from LoveGodsWay2 and being he was a former catholic.

Do we really think that all the sinners Jesus sat to eat and drink with were saved?

If Jesus had of isolated Himself from sinners and religious leaders during his day because He disagreed with them would some of them still have been saved?

Is staying away from sinners the same as staying away from sin?

Do we have to stay away from people who are wrong to prove we are more right?

Is it more pleasing to the Lord to stay away from people who are wrong on every occasion than it is to endure some things on a few occasions to strive peacefully to show your faith in hoping to witness the true gospel of Christ?

Should we be always walking away from the darkness instead of turning our light on in the midst of the darkness that we encounter?

Some occasions will only come once in a life time and what ever decision we make will be the one that we will have to live with.

May God bless you in your decision.

Blessings to you!

MJ,

sometimes we gag at a knat and swallow a camel in trying to keep to our beliefs but the greater call is love. You cannot show love of Jesus towards these people if you are not there.

My dad had to have two funerals when he died! He became Catholic to marry his second wife but three months before he died he was born again in the hospital! He told his wife, "Do what you feel you need to do but I want a Christian burial." We had his Christian burial and I was appalled at the preacher who dismissed Catholics right in front of daddy's Catholic family.

So we load daddy up and take him to the Catholic church for the funeral there, now let me share with you that there was more love in that priest's words than there were in the preacher's words. They night before, they asked me if I wanted to say something during the funeral and I said, "yes, that verse "we look through a glass darkly,"" the priest knew the verse better than I did and formed the whole service around that verse and others.

All I'm trying to say, MaryJane is that there is love that is LONGER than the length of a day and an understanding that goes way beyond our doctrinal beliefs that effect people to their marrow by the power of the Spirit. That's what I desire from the Lord. I want to be His hands and feet to whomever, what religion-ever and where-ever. We tell Jesus, "We'll go where you send us, Lord;" thinking it will be around the world but what about going to where we don't want to go? I'm just saying... it's goes way deeper than them just being "Catholic."

God bless you in your decision,

Mj

I have not posted in a long time but I read what you shared and even though I will most likely be the only one to say this, do not attend this service if you feel the Lord leading you not to. Put it to prayer with your husband and ask God what His will is for you in this situation. Don't assume just because it seems like the right thing to do that it is Gods heart or desire for you. You are not dishonoring your dad if you do not go. God comes first no matter what family thinks or tells us. This is not a doctrine issue this is a submission issue pure and simple.

much love to you sister
rdg

This would be a tough one, my gut instinct is No for a number of reasons but there is definitely wisedom from the other posts and I hope to convey some small grain of wisedom as well. My head pastor is a former catholic and has many Catholic brothers and sisters even has an uncle that is a priest. His dad recently died a while back and he went to the funeral, he said he say through the service and the priest spoke truth other than their errors of doctrines like praying to Mary. Most if not all of his brothers and sisters are closed off to the gospel message because of his past attempts but from the death of his father his mother is actually now open. Something happens when someone passes away the heart is naturally soften to receive it seems for those in deep grief probably why those that Mourn are Blessed. :)

If you are worried about your boys then I would go by yourself if that is an option. Oddly enough my dad just got into a huge argument with my aunt and mom about Memorial day, they have both hardened their hearts because they lost both their father and mother but their step mother is still alive but they want nothing to do with her. They were placing flowers on my grandpa's grave when my aunt said "Dad should have the most flowers on his grave" and my dad said "Why?" She said because he had six kids. This all ran into the big argument of why do we place flowers on a graveside when the person isn't alive nor doesn't really care about the flowers especially when there is an unsaved step mother that is completely shut off.

Not going I don't think would be dishonoring for father, but not going definitely closes any door for ministry to your brother and sister as they would harden their hearts even more toward not only you but Christ Jesus since one of your main reasons for not going is religious dispute. I would definitely be in prayer about the whole thing and ask God if you do go to use you as a faithful witness of His Love for His Glory. I will pray for you Sis I hope that you are obedient to the Holy Spirit either way.

God Bless,
Matthew

WWJD? Simple as that. All the others who spoke of love being the greatest reason to go are right. So what if the Priest says something you don't agree with. You aren't there for yourself...but for family. Don't help drive a wedge between your family. Go and humble yourself to your family. Maybe this is hard to hear, but maybe you should appologize to your family and show a true humble example of Christlikeness. That in itself may show a glimpse of Christ that they've never seen before. And may your heart not be hardened to what your fellow brothers and sisters have said.

God Bless...

Thank you for the responses to my post. I really appreciate you all taking the time to share what the Lord has placed on your heart. I spent time with my husband in prayer and we both feel the Lord leading me not to go. I feel going would be a compromise for me and I know my mother would see it that way, it would give her a false hope that I am returning to the RCC. She would take it that way and I don't want to do anything that would make her believe that. My husband also feels strongly sense there is a plan to give a special prayer and blessing for the dead(my dad) that my children should not be exposed to that and I agree with him.

I do understand what some of you have shared about being a witness but as I said that is not a possibility, in the "very limited" contact my siblings are willing to have with me they have all made this very clear.

Thank you again for sharing with me.

God Bless
mj

If the Lord is leading you, follow the Lord.

Blessings on what ever you decide sister.

"Sadly no there would be zero chances of sharing with anyone of my siblings at this service. They have all made there wishes known and clear. They are closed off completely. " Well sister, I have to disagree with that :)

___________

You are right of course. God can change a heart. When I was writing that I was thinking about my dad, he held on to his faith and trust in the RCC right up until he died. He never did see his need for Jesus all his hope was in the church and the deception he had always held to. I still pray for my mom though. I pray for my brothers and my sister but I should clear up that I have next to no contact with most of them. They stopped talking to me years ago. My oldest brother who is arranging this whole thing has not even spoken to me in over ten years. This correspondence is the first I have heard from him and his plans and wishes he made very clear.

You are correct in saying that there are a lot of complexities in this situation but none of those issues is keeping me from going. I simply feel I need to walk in what the Lord has shown me this evening.

God bless you
mj

Will not going bring honour to him for the fact of being your father?

I don't see how not going dishonors him? I also don't see that you can honor or dishonor a person who is already passed away. The definition below states that to honor a person is showing them respect how can you show respect or not show respect to someone who is no longer living? This just does not make sense to me. Its not like the person who has passed away can receive or acknowledge being shown respect or honor?? Honestly this idea that MJ would somehow be dishonoring her dad by not going sounds like a tactic used to make her feel guilty. Just not seeing it I guess???

honor, hon·ored, hon·or·ing, hon·ors
1.
a. To hold in respect; esteem.
b. To show respect for or to.

My advise would be to ask you to pray and see what God wants you to do.

There may/may not be a chance for you to witness there--only God knows and He decides. If God doesn't want you to go but you go because of advise to show love to others,to honor your father and there may be a possibility for you to witness to them--will that be right in God's eyes. No. Will you succeed in what you hope to do. Most likely no as its not what God wants you to do. Most likely the opposite will happen.

And vice versa.

This case is not as clear cut as some others (eg: should one go to an occult event--which answer is clearly no) and is a major thing.

As for my family's case,my sister did not attend my grandmother's burial because the rites were done in another religion. However,whether its because that's what she felt God ask her to do, I do not know.

Edit to include: God can use both situations to His glory ie God can use your going for His glory. Similarly God can use your not going for His glory also. We should not limit God on what he can do when we do not go just because we can't think of what good it can do. I personally can think of a few. One was that when my sister did not go--it gave me an idea that she was certainly serious in her faith and that's 1 of the thing that I respect about her (now that I am a Christian and I am recalling that situation). This could very likely happen to one of your family member also. And maybe when they are in a bind or want to learn about Christianity, they may just look you up because they have more confidence that you are a real Christian and walk the talk.

So, my sister pray--pour out your confusion, your uncertainties and ask God to tell you what He wants you to do. Not what you want to do or what you hope to achieve if you are going/not going. I will say a prayer for you too.

I`m not trying to make you feel guilty, just pointing something out that may occur to you when it is too late.

Krautfrau

I did not mean to imply that you personally were trying to make maryjane feel guilty I was referring to her family members. I think she mentioned her brother said something about this not honoring her dad if she doesn't go.

I only commented because I don't see how you can dishonor a person who is no longer living??

rdg

Krautfrau's quote : You can bring dishonour to a person's reputation after they are gone.

Krautfrau,
We need to take this up in prayer and do what God wants us to do, not what we think will happen if we do not go.

Luke 14:26
"If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters--yes, even his own life--he cannot be my disciple

If it so happens that God doesn't want her to go for reasons that we are unable to understand now, will not God also honour her. Will God allow her father's reputation to be dishonoured. No. Maybe in the short term, there may be some pain etc, but in the long term, God will honor those who honor his wishes.