My joyless christian life

Hi all,
I'm curious if anyone else has felt the way I do as of late: Every morning I wake up and often my first thought is "you must read your bible and pray, you haven't done that yet" but it is not with a spirit of desire, but rather one of "law keeping" so to speak. My entire Christian walk has been turned into one of do this/do that, no joy, no relaxation without feeling guilty about not reading or praying more. I haven't been to church for nearly two months because it feels like the same old thing. What to do?

If you look upon the Savior
as your Friend; you won't let
a day pass by without talking
with HIM, sharing with HIM
your doubts, your dreams,
your hopes, your fears, your
worries. You would want to
spend time with HIM and walk
with HIM on the journey of
life!!

You will never recover from this unless you are honest with God and acknowledge it to him. Confess your lack of Joy. Tell him your sin. He wants to take your burden and replace it with His. Walk in the Spirit! One of the flesh and the devils greatest tricks is to make you think that when you are more joyful then the Lord is blessing you.

"Blessed are those which hunger and thirst after righteousness."

Did you consider that your lack may be thirst?

You and I are in the same exact boat my friend, You should check out the thread "Just so bitter" I started it but can't take credit for the Godly counsel found in it. Those that have posted on it have encouraged me greatly.

As to your bible reading, I understand that as well. Before all of this dissatisfation started I was reading out of 5 different translations along with some of my study notes. I felt the same guilt and condemnation you are describing. How I fixed it was this stopped trying so hard and started to focus on the quality of my reading and living rather than that I read. Meditating on small portion and applying to my heart rather my head.

I hope this helps in some way but please know you are not alone, these desert experiences are only temporary. The Lord uses them in a way to make us hunger and thirst for Him in a deeper way.

"My" opinion is that I think "sometimes" in the early stages of Christianity that joy follows obedience, while later on by God's grace, that it just becomes joyful to obey, the motive shifts so-to speak, as Jesus reveals Himself more to one's soul. I don't think it's like this everyone, but God is no respector of persons when it comes to His children. Colin Peckham has said, "When you 'see' Jesus consecration is easy." I would spend much much time exercising the soul in faith to see Christ friend.

What I mean is, study who Christ Jesus is, study what He has done for His children, what He went through as God-man here on earth.... these Heavenly things; renewing your mind in Heavenly contemplation. Pray much even when your body or mind doesn't feel like it; for they are Christ's now, so bring them into subjection for you are @ war friend with your own flesh, as well as the world & the devil.

hi, the joy of the Lord is your strength...joy is the result of knowing that God loves you as in second person singular...Jesus looked down the years of time and died for you and called out your name and wrote it in the Lambs book of life.he not only loves you he knows you and still loves you and is now interceding to the Father on your behalf...you will never read your bible or pray enough to do anything that would impress the Father on your behalf... Jesus has done it all for you and inherits your praises for He alone is worthy...no religeous activity compares...i worship Him because while i was yet a sinner he died for me personally and i know Him intimately and He Knows me.jimp

Hi Shamefaced...

I understand your feelings. One thing to remember is that we all go through "seasons." Sometimes, we may not feel a need or desire for God (at least, on the surface), but the need is still very real.

Sometimes, I don't feel like getting up and going to work.
Sometimes, I don't feel like doing my work well.
Sometimes, I don't feel like eating breakfast, lunch or dinner.
Sometimes, I don't feel like showering.
Sometimes, I don't feel like showing love to my wife. (yikes!)

But I do these things (and more) anyway...because it is a responsibility. It is important to stop viewing such things as restrictive obligations -- but wonderful opportunities. Could you imagine if you didn't have the opportunity to do such things?

I spoke with a brother in the Lord who was recently divorced. He had taken his wife for granted and "thought" that he didn't "love" her or "desire" her any longer. He said that he treated her like she was a "nuisance." She eventually became fed up with his lack of loving attention, so she left him. Now, this same man who didn't "feel" love for his wife is hurting because she is gone.

I suppose that many believers don't know how much of an opportunity they have to serve the Lord! We have freedom of worship, plenty of Bibles, churches, online sermons, Christian books, Christian CDs, homes, jobs, Christian families, and plenty of other "blessings" from God! Yet, I fear that we often take it all for granted as much as that one man did his wife.

Reading your Bible is not a "requirement" -- but a need and opportunity. You can easily turn away and place it on a shelf and ignore it. No obligation there! However, the need and opportunity have presented themselves to you -- that many people in history have never had.

Brother, during "dry seasons" like this, I would urge you to "keep on keeping on." The Word of God is our very subsistence for life! If you feel like you are "obligated," then read the Word like you would a book. After all, there is power in the words in the Word. It is like water to the soul! Remember that, through simple prayer, you have the opportunity to speak with the Creator of the whole universe! Nothing is off limits or off topic to speak with Him about! You can even talk to Him about the dryness that you are feeling! What an opportunity to pour out our souls like a drink offering via prayer and prayerful worship!

I will be praying for you, brother. However, I think that many of us have felt as you do. God will bring you through it! Be encouraged!

Matthew 11:28-30
Psalm 1
Jeremiah 17:7-10

I believe I shared a bit of this on the bitterness thread but I feel one of the biggest factors in believes feeling like is because they become stagnant pools. Constantly taking in the word, but very little giving out. If we want the water of life to flow through our lives we must allow it to flow out to others.

The most fulfilled folks I know are those who get off their lazy chair and love, and feed the poor at homeless shelters, visit and share the gospel at nursing homes, mental hospitals, and make the rejects of the world family.

We will be overstuffed, dusty, and dry if we don't allow, and give the Living Water a place to flow. When we reach out in love to the most unlovely we find joy and new refreshing for ourselves. Jesus walked through life touching people all along the way, we just become spiritual sponges, finally reaching a point where we can hold no more. At that point if there is no outflow we are miserable.

Check out guys like Francis Chan and Shane Claiborne. Love has action behind it. Otherwise it stagnates. When we step out and give our lives as a living sacrifice we find the missing piece that connects it all to Jesus. We will find that we don't have precious time to waste on thinking about ourselves any longer, but it is in losing our lives that we find them. How many times can you read "Jesus wept", and have it mean anything to you, unless you weep with Him? We need to be doers of the word.

I have felt like this before. In my opinion it is just best to come before God in prayer, and confess this spirit of "law keeping" that you have about prayer and reading the Bible.

I believe that God will speak to your heart about your guilt and legalism problem.

Change might not happen instantly but keep seeking an answer from the Lord, He will come through for you.

God bless y'all

Dear brother,

In our early years of being a Christian, we encounter many radical preachers/teachers that give off a certain "fire" for the Lord, and as we all know, fire can be a very infectious element. To stir up this fire, they sometimes mention continuous prayer and Bible reading as the sole means for becoming a human torch for Jesus. We experience a thrill when we read of the exploits of prayer in the ministries of Finney, Wesley, Ravenhill, and in our early years we try so hard to emulate this kind of Christian life.

Some preachers incorporate into their sermons radical examples of various saints' prayer lives to bring conviction upon their hearers. They do this even though Jesus Christ clearly taught His followers not to broadcast their prayer habits; that prayer was to be done in secret, behind closed doors.

Whenever you listen to or read a message that emphasizes a prayer life by virtue of another man's example, or the necessity of "going through the entire Bible" in regard to time and quantity, you need to be careful. Especially if you find yourself falling into the condemnation of not "measuring up" to the fabled standard of the preacher or author. It is a powerful method employed by legalistic preachers to stir emotion and get the soul moving. Hearing about John Wesley waking at 4 a.m. every day of his life to meet with God can certainly stir some emotions in us! It causes a thrill in the immature Christian to read about these things, like snorting cocaine, and during this "high", he or she will try to emulate the life of their hero. They will make resolutions to pray a certain amount of time each day, or read several chapters daily out of the Old and New Testaments. And this they do -- at first.

But also like cocaine, the "high" eventually wears off, reality sets in and they see they are not the super Christian they had been led to believe during the initial euphoria. Depending on how emphatically the exhortation to "pray like Whitefield" was given, the sense of defeat in supposedly "failing God" can be crushing.

This is very unfortunate, and I believe it grieves the heart of God. It is grevious when men are looking to other men as measuring sticks in ministry rather than to Jesus Christ alone. It took about nine years for God to dissolve this legalistic mindset in me, and set me free from the guilt of missing morning prayer or going a length of time without opening the Bible -- things that at one time would be considered anathema and the mark of a lukewarm believer.

Jesus said, "Come unto me all you who are burdened and heavy-laden and I will give you rest", and I believe this promise can be applied as equally to believers as it can to non-believers. Trying to pray like John Hyde or read through several chapters of the Bible each day can be a wearisome and heavy-laden chore. Sin is a horrible burden; legalism can be equally as crushing. Jesus can set us free from both.

When Jesus sets you free from the weight of sanctification-by-legalism, you'll find that true prayer comes spontaneously and secretly from within the "closed door" of your heart all throughout the day, as effortlessly as breathing. You'll also find yourself deeply gleaning from certain verses and chapters in the Bible for months at a time before being prompted by the Holy Spirit to move on. These are but a few examples of the Spirit-led life and the liberty granted to those who look only to Jesus. You'll receive discernment as to when a preacher is introducing legalism. You'll understand truly what it means to "grow in grace and in the knowledge of Christ" and gain great contentment and joy knowing your position in Christ. In fact, God will begin to take away all the things you once relied upon for sanctification to show you they do not work. In the end, you will be left with Christ and Christ alone, as all men -- even Wesley and Finney and Spurgeon and Edwards -- begin to fade dim in the light of His glory. Hallelujah!

Brother Paul

Thank you for sharing that Brother Paul this helped me out greatly and was something that I needed to hear. I get into this mindset at times but here lately when I miss my bible reading I don't feel as condemned for missing it. The Lord loves me no less and its really not a proof of my love to Him or proof of my Righteousness Jesus Christ did it all on the Cross HOW WONDERFUL TO KNOW!

When I read your post I thought of today's devotional by Watchman Nee.

Why art thou cast down, O my soul? And why art thou disquieted within me? Hope thou in God; for I shall yet praise him, who is the help of my countenance, and my God. Psalm 42.11.

Many Christians live too much by feeling. If they feel joyful and happy today they will say God has truly blessed them. If, however, they feel cold and flat today they each will almost be heard to say, How can I know where God is? Thus many Christians lean upon their feeling; and as soon as their feeling is missing, they waver. This proves that they do not really know the Lord. How the children of God need to be brought by the Lord to the place where feeling cold or warm, flat or stirred, presents no problem because they have known God with a knowledge which is deeper than any feeling. In spite of varied sensations outwardly—whether of joy or pain—they inwardly know. And only such persons as these can stand against all shakings.

CFP Newsletter & Daily Devotional

Thank you Paul,
What wonderful insight you have shared, this is exactally how I've felt. To share a bit, my wife (who has had her own struggles in her Christian walk) attempted suicide nearly two months ago now, and that was the endpoint of many months of stress and marriage issues. I've strived to be a Christian God would be "proud of" and presumed that if only I'd fast enough, pray enough, ect... Like the saints of old, that there would be some major spiritual breakthrough in my marriage and personal life. How can one feel joy as a Christian when their spouse is constantly hurting and defeated? I haven't found a way to do so.

I hate this legalistic burden that I've hoisted upon me, and yet to put it down and act as "cheerful christian" when my wife is walking on a dark road sounds particularly niave to me...

Shamefaced,
Your last post made me think about something: How does Christ take care of His bride? (Hence, how should I take care of my wife?) This question is as much an exhortation for myself as it is for you or anyone else. On the one hand, it makes me consider what Jesus Christ offers me that gives life to the statement, “His grace is sufficient for me”. On the other hand, it makes me consider what I should offer my wife.

Your humbled honesty has tremendous power. Thank you.

In Christ Jesus

Thank you Paul.

Good words, brother Paul!

I suppose that Christ gave His life for His bride, and humbled Himself when treated unjustly, gave of Himself with no expectation of return, lived a life of selflessness... What is hard is attempting to live a life of peace and joy in the face of adversity, yet still feeling those deep sorrows that often accompanies love.

Shamefaced, bless you dear brother for your candor. I believe the Lord will meet you right where you are in your marriage and heal all the wounds. The Lord doesn't require steadfast obedience in our devotional lives before He intervenes in our marriages and pours out His grace: that is man's mindset. Man requires we fulfill certain virtuous actions before we are rewarded; but God gives His best gifts to those who fail, who make a colossal mess of their lives, who repeatedly try yet repeatedly sigh in agony and wring their hands in defeat. When at last we give up in utter weakness and consternation at trying to "be holy", we find that God steps in and gives us great revelation, light, liberty. He pours His Spirit out liberally upon us and lifts us up higher than we've ever been. Praise His wonderful unsearchable ways!

Contrary to what we've been taught, what God requires first and foremost is not disciplined Bible study and daily quiet time and living on our knees; He instead looks for brutal honesty and abasement on our part at our failure to meet the standards we've concocted by listening to and reading legalistic preachers and authors. What a paradox! Jesus Christ only is our standard, and not George Whitefield's prayer life or Christmas Evans' preaching or D.L. Moody's method of evangelism regardless of how powerfully the Lord used those men. When we make Christ alone our standard and the leading of the Spirit our guide, we enter into immediate peace and joy and rest. This is because God always meets us right where we are without any upbraiding, though in the preacher's eyes we've failed a million times.

God requires our brutal honesty that we are too weak to be what others exhort us to be. And we need to know that even if we could achieve the legalistic standard, God wouldn't accept it. Our devotion, our ministry, our loving, giving, frustration, crying, coming and going must all be daily in Christ, hidden in Him though our perpetual weakness and inability to "fend for ourselves" in any and all principles of life. This is true holiness, this is progression unto perfection, this is true sanctification. It is all wrapped up in Christ, in Whom we reckon ourselves dead to the world and alive unto God.

Feelings (of success and failure) are transient; the agony of defeat is cleansed immediately in the blood. Nothing at all can separate us from God's love for us in Christ, and our spirits rejoice in this truth. When we begin to understand our position of sonship in Christ, and what God has already done for us in the eternal, we will never again be mixed-up with the impossible demands of legalism and the strenuous feats of holy discipline preachers strap on the backs of other believers.

Brother Paul

Shamefaced,

Perhaps what you and your wife both need is for you to come alongside her,put your arms around her and say [something like this] "Honey, both of us are hurting - why don't both of us work together on this thing by going to LORD and pour out our hearts to Him??" and see what happens?

ginnyrose