Myth #32-Husbands are the Spiritual Leaders of Wives

Ok... I just read this and now I ask you (who are interested), to read this ALL the way through and then answer, if you are so inclined. I found this fascinating; obviously, I'm going to have to study this out to the end but I thought I'd post it here to see if anybody agreed with him!!

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Myth # 32 - Husbands are the Spiritual Leaders of Wives.

This is a destructive and cultish concept. JESUS is the leader of both man and wife directly, and the two have equal partnership in marriage and ministry.

The myth that the husband must lead the wife goes against greater New Covenant principles. Jesus said not to name a human spiritual leader. All believers are The Bride, adult sons, priests, and kings. Scripture tells us that we can have unbroken fellowship with God without any middlemen.

The Bible does not say that men are to be the heads of wives. The sentence doesn't stop there. The Bible says that men, who were already heads of wives in secular culture, were to express their secular headship AS Christ is head of the Church, WHO died for her and gave her His own position of sinlessness before God! He is not saying the man is to wash his wife. Christ has already washed the entire Body from all sin, both men and women. Paul is saying that men are to remove the cultural shame of womenhood from their wives and treat them as equals, as Christ did on a much larger scale for His Bride.

Christianity is NEVER about the assumption of power over people, even by God. Christianity is ALWAYS about the relinquishing of power from stronger to weaker, the equality of all believers in Christ, and mutual servanthood. This is what God Himself modeled to us when He walked the shores of our planet in human form.

No human can assume the spiritual responsibility of another. To attempt this breaks a person down by placing him on an impossible pedestal whether it is a husband or minister. Likewise, no person can bury the voice of God within and everything they were made to be and follow a human without being shipwrecked.

This myth causes men to become shallow, macho, driven, and arrogant. It causes women to become mousey, retiring, and manipulative. The men bark that the women don't submit, and the women whine that the men aren't strong enough leaders. This myth eats Christian marriages up from the inside out by the millions. Relationships that are unequally yoked will suffer. If the God of the universe can say that He came to call us friends, not slaves, then obviously, He would not place some as rulers and some as slaves within the Body.

The Bible tells us not to live by the flesh. Patterning life according to imagined gender roles is a deeply entrenched form of living by the flesh.

The myth, based on errant translation and misunderstanding of Scripture, feeds two aspects of fallen human nature - the desire to control other humans, and the desire to abdicate responsibility for our choices. This is precisely what God told Eve after the fall - that women would reach toward their husbands instead of God, and their husbands would rule them instead of loving them. Both responses are unhealthy. This is what happens when humans live without God as number one. But we have now been freed from every aspect of the curse and offered unbroken friendship with our Creator and Parent. When our relationship to Him is restored, our relationships with each other become healthy. We reach for Him and are satisfied as only He can satisfy. Then, from our rich resources, we love and serve each other.

Paul the apostle told us all to stand fast in the freedom which we were given. No marriage is richer than one where both people are adults, whole, functioning uniquely as they were created to be, with each one hearing and responding to God. Many churches attempt to homogonize all marriages with gender roles, yet God makes every snowflake different. Every marriage is a new combination, and every couple has the freedom to express their union in a unique way as God leads.

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From ~ Religion Mythbusters ~

http://www.rockymountainministries.org/Articles/MythBusterArticles/Myth32%20Husbands%20are%20the%20Spiritual%20Leaders%20of%20Wives.html

This is not sound doctrine!! GOD has
intended for man to be surrendered to
HIS LORDSHIP and yielded to HIS Will.
The woman's role in marriage is to
help and support her husband in
following and serving GOD. The
husband is to cherish his wife as
Christ loved the Church. The man
is responsible to be head of the
family and his house. This is what
scriptures teach!

This is not sound doctrine!! GOD has intended for man to be surrendered to HIS LORDSHIP and yielded to HIS Will. The woman's role in marriage is to help and support her husband in following and serving GOD. The husband is to cherish his wife as Christ loved the Church. The man is responsible to be head of the family and his house. This is what scriptures teach

Yes, but if you take those scriptures and do not balance them out with the OTHER scripture in the Bible you get LEGALISM! There are women out there that I believe really are in bondage to their husbands, and have not the freedom to walk in Christ in His Perfection, but instead are bound by legalism. However, the whole system could then be corrupt as well.

1 John 2:27
But the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach you: but as the same anointing teacheth you of all things, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in him.

Galatians 5:1
Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.

1 Corinthians 9:19
For though I be FREE from all men, yet have I made myself servant unto all, that I might gain the more.

I do not disagree with the article. But the pendulum swing could take place as well.

Galatians 5:13
For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.

1 Peter 2:16
As free, and not using your liberty for a cloke of maliciousness, but as the servants of God.

On another note, I am not married yet..so this may change.

Anyways good post Lisa
For Him,
Michelle

Edited.

1 Peter 3:3-8

3Your adornment must not be merely external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses;

4but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.

5For in this way in former times the holy women also,who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands;

6just as Sarah obeyed Abraham,calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.

7You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.

To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit;

There are several straw man arguments being set up here, whether intentionally or not.

Michelle's verses contextually deal with Christian liberty in regards to law, God, and systems of man, of which marriage is not. Marriage is a God-ordained institution. So arguing Christian freedom from the law doesn't really apply. It's like saying we are free from the Body of Christ, families, and governmental authorities, or even God, because we're free in Christ. The arguments are on different levels and therefore do not apply specifically to each other.

As for the original argument, it's interesting not one scripture is cited. Without trying to point for point debate it, I will submit some scriptures from whence the teaching arises that the original article was against. Theologically, the terms used are egalitarianism and complementarianism. The original article argues from an egalitarian view, that says men and women are equal in spiritual authority. The second view says that while they are equal in Christ as redeemed sinners, they are not equal in spiritual authority; man has precendence.

Here are some scriptures:

Genesis 3:16
Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

Ephesians 5:22-33
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

1 Peter 3:1-7
1 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. 3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.

7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

Colossians 3:18
18 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

Their exegesis of Ephesians 5 seems to be more reading what they wanted it to say. If the texts speaks for itself, it seems to point towards a sort of "headship," which also finds support by 2 or 3 witnesses. And, as always, the fact that people abuse truth doesn't nullify the truth. As Paul made his case for grace at the end of Romans 5, he states that where sin abounded, grace much more. He immediately addresses the issue of abusing such knowledge and says that 'no, we should not therefore sin that grace may abound.' When the truth is abused in this way, it merely demonstrates the abuser does not fully grasp it nor have it formed within him, not to mention his soul is probably in a precarious position.

If you wish to understand a biblically centered position in favor of complementarianism, here is a link:

http://cdn.desiringgod.org/pdf/books_bbmw/bbmw.pdf

Patterning life according to imagined gender roles is a deeply entrenched form of living by the flesh.

This statement is not true in any sense of any meanings. Anyone who has lived in close proximity of another gender will know beyond a shadow of any doubt there are differences between males and females, how they relate to each other in society, whether it be in the workplace or home. The fact that we differ physically should give us a huge clue that we may also differ emotionally, mentally and spiritually. To deny this reality is ignoring the obvious.

There are Biblical references that teach us the roles inherent in being either a male or female. Another poster posted those, so I will refrain from repeating them.

Nature also teaches us there are mental differences. Why do boys love noise, loud trucks, risky behaviors? and females are softer, have strong maternal instincts, are touchy-feely - into emotions and talk much about feelings? These things are not cultural, they are inborn. If a female's likes or dislikes is gained by culture, I should be one who loves male things all the way. I grew up on a profitable, working farm in rural America. I followed Dad all over the place. I learned all about feeding and caring for animals, including assisting the birthing process in sows. I learned how to burn brush piles (I still love to do this!) But you know what? I hate mechanic work: it is dirty, greasy and do NOT care to know why engines, combines, corn planters, grain drills, balers work the way they do. And I hate to catch chickens - they stink and scratch your legs. The only fun thing to do with farm machinery is getting into a tractor cab and revving up the engine, putting it into gear and away you go! But you know what? I love women things much more, so much more. Why? because I was taught to be feminine? NO. It is inborn. So are the roles God intended for males and females. We are different and this is something that should be celebrated, not berated.

All for now...and who knows what may come to mind by morning???

ginnyrose

I checked out the rockymountainminitries.org website and I am finding red flags all over in their Myth Busters section. I would warn anyone to not even go there to get any reliable interpretation of what the scripture says on issues. The few I looked at are so bad it is not worthy of any consideration!

ginnyrose

It doesn't take much to see how twisted this article is.

They have aluded to scripture without really using any, and then twisting the meaning to say what they want it to mean.

If only we could accept what the word of God says, without resorting to self-deception.

Michelle's verses contextually deal with Christian liberty in regards to law, God, and systems of man, of which marriage is not. Marriage is a God-ordained institution. So arguing Christian freedom from the law doesn't really apply. It's like saying we are free from the Body of Christ, families, and governmental authorities, or even God, because we're free in Christ. The arguments are on different levels and therefore do not apply specifically to each other.

Good point.

I have to agree with sojourner7; otherwise you would end up with a two-headed body.

Saints Beware. Much of what is said on this site by the Franciscos is just short of blasphemy. take for example Wendy Franciscos new song hittin Amazon, Borders...

God and DoG

I look up and I see God I look down and I see my dog
simple spelling GOD, same word backwards, DOG
They would stay with me all day, I'm the one who walks away
Both of them just wait for me,and dance at my return with glee
Both love me no matter what-divine God and canine mutt
I take it hard each time I fail, God forgives, dog wags his tail
God thought up and made the dog,dog reflects a part of God
I've seen love from both sides now, Its everywhere AMEN BOW WOW

I mean this her song which the world is just in love with tells volumes of their view of their god....which is not my God.

The myth, based on errant translation and misunderstanding of Scripture, feeds two aspects of fallen human nature - the desire to control other humans, and the desire to abdicate responsibility for our choices.

This is insightful surely! Both human penchants: to control and to abdicate are sinful at the root. And this is certainly a huge issue that threatens relationships - from marriages to churches to entire nations.

Perhaps the point the author is trying to make can be understood better by considering the Reformation mantra: The church had usurped the place of Christ – by functioning as mediator. The parallel would be when a husband takes on a mediatory role – either by usurping it or by a wife abdicating her calling to “sit at the feet of Jesus”.

The argument is weakened in this statement, I think:

JESUS is the leader of both man and wife directly, and the two have equal partnership in marriage and ministry.

The theology of the priesthood of all believers here is given an egalitarian application. That is challenged by the household codes in Eph. 5 and 6. There you see that those in the subservient position are addressed first: wives, children, slaves. There is nothing said about seeking social/relational equality. Such a notion would have been ludicrous. Only in our western culture where “equality” is such a big deal, can we even entertain such possibilities. Instead in Ephesians, they were to accept their subservient lot in life and serve their superiors “with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ.” Equality is simply not biblical. Jesus set the example: “”He did not consider equality something to be grasped…” Phil. 2:6

Countless marriages are threatened when wives look to their husbands for what Christ wants to do for them in being their spiritual “husband” – head. When that sinful desire (rooted in the Garden) is embedded in their consciences, they manipulate, distance themselves, or take the passive approach. (or , as mentioned, become legalistic about their “submissiveness”). In this way they fail to embrace their God-given calling – to be ambassadors of reconciliation – and peace – ie, to be ruled/filled by the Spirit.

Luther, I think understood it right when he wrote:

“ A Christian man is the most free lord of all, and subject to none;
a Christian man is the most dutiful servant of all, and subject to everyone.”

In other words, this is a universal reality, regardless of culture. We could say:

A truly regenerated wife is the most free lord of all and subject to none;
A truly regenerated wife is the most dutiful servant of all, and subject to everyone.

Grasping such an amazing paradox is surely one of our most challenging theological tasks. Yet we must, so that we can become spiritually mature in a fallen world.

Diane

QUOTE:
"God and DoG

I look up and I see God I look down and I see my dog
simple spelling GOD, same word backwards, DOG
They would stay with me all day, I'm the one who walks away
Both of them just wait for me,and dance at my return with glee
Both love me no matter what-divine God and canine mutt
I take it hard each time I fail, God forgives, dog wags his tail
God thought up and made the dog,dog reflects a part of God
I've seen love from both sides now, Its everywhere AMEN BOW WOW"

COMMENT on: "dog reflects a part of God"

This is an outright lie! Nowhere does scripture tell us God made dogs in his image! or even reflect God in any shape or form...

ginnyrose wrote:
COMMENT on: "dog reflects a part of God"

This is an outright lie! Nowhere does scripture tell us God made dogs in his image! or even reflect God in any shape or form...

I could be wrong but I don’t think she meant to turn the whole religious world upside down but to just write a song about her dog.

God bless,
Lisa

Giggles, thanks for pointing out the strongman arguments. I think that this is what makes this a difficult discussion sometimes. The thing that the writer of the article in the orignal post is disputing is not the thing that the biblical evidence (much that you have share in your post) implies.
Also, your point that this is a nature and an order thing, not a law thing, is helpful. (by nature, I mean design...His design). I wonder if what has prompted this counter reaction is partly that there are some who are very legalistic who also have developed so rigid "rules" rather that celebrating the biblical revelation of marriage mirroring Christ and the Church (for example).
Again, we as women share full equality with our husbands before God, and by choice and in obedience submit ourselves to the order that He has ordained for His glory.
All that said, I want to make it clear that I share my ideas, feelings, beliefs, desires...plainly and without reserve... with my husband. I have strong opinions, and I fearlessly express them.
And by the grace of God I respect the order He has ordained...many times for my protection, always for His glory.