Phileo

There is a key found within the Greek language that will make the personal nature of this love far clearer than many of us have ever seen before. God has a unique and special love for those who believe in Him and have developed an intimate personal relationship. This special love is different from His general, less personal, love for all those within the world. The difference between these two types of love manifests itself in several ways. Jesus loved all men, especially all of His disciples; however, He did not love all of them in the same way. We know this by such passages as “The disciple whom Jesus loved.” We know this can’t mean He only loved one of His disciples; but it is obvious that Jesus had a special relationship with this disciple that was distinct from His general love for the others. We also know that Jesus loved all the people of Israel, yet He had a special love for Lazarus as indicated by the message He received from Martha and Mary, “Lord the one whom you love is sick.” The Greek word used to indicate this special personal affection in both of these passages is “phileo.” Phileo is used when referring to the special bond between two individuals equivalent to our English word “friend.” James uses this term to describe Abraham as the “friend” of God (philos – a noun form of phileo).

Most of us would be familiar with the other more common Greek word for love, “agape.” At one time, I mistakenly perceived that “agape” was a higher, more supreme love than “phileo.” What I discovered has forever altered that misconception. The difference between phileo and agape is not so much a difference of a greater vs. a lesser, rather the difference between the general vs. the personal. We will attend funerals of those that we generally value and esteem (agape) although we may not love them on deep personal level (phileo); however, when there is deeply personal history there will almost always be a far deeper (phileo) bond of love that touches us. Jesus raised several people from the dead, and He felt compassion on those who had lost them, but notice how He wept at the tomb of Lazarus and those who saw it remarked, “Behold how He loved (phileo) him.”

The significance of the specific use of phileo vs. apage takes on profound meaning in the following passage from John 16:25-27 “These things I have spoken to you in figurative language; but the time is coming when I will no longer speak to you in figurative language, but I will tell you plainly about the Father. In that day you will ask in My name, and I do not say to you that I shall pray the Father for you; for the Father Himself loves (phileo) you, because you have loved (phileo) me, and have believed that I came forth from God.” The Father loves (agape) the whole world, but He does not have the same (phileo) love for everyone, only those who love (phileo) Jesus. In other words, God’s general love for mankind does not guarantee that every man will enter into the special intimacy of a phileo relationship with Him. John also records Jesus’ special designation of His disciples as “friends” (philos) in chapter 15. “Greater love has no man than this, than to lay down his life for his friends (philos). You are my friends (philos) if you do whatever I command you.” Jesus did not regard the entire world as His “friends”, only those who had come to know Him intimately.

The Love from which Righteousness Springs by Alan Martin
continues...https://www.sermonindex.net/modules/newbb/viewtopic.php?viewmode=flat&order=0&topic_id=26136&forum=34&post_id=&refresh=Go

The idea of phileo/agapao is interesting, but perhaps not as infallible as would first appear:

For Demas hath forsaken me, having loved [GR 25: AGAPE] this present world, and is departed unto Thessalonica; Crescens to Galatia, Titus unto Dalmatia.
2 Timothy 4:10

Some food for thought... :)

@NevCovWinDor...

:)

For Demas hath forsaken me, having loved [GR 25: AGAPE] this present world, and is departed unto Thessalonica; Crescens to Galatia, Titus unto Dalmatia. 2 Timothy 4:10

That IS interesting. thanks for pointing that out!

I have always equated agape love, as love that is only a love that came from Christ alone. However, it's just HOW someone loves perhaps? a form.

Is agapeo the same as agape? just different grammar or something?

So unless I'm reading a completely different article than the one that everyone else is reading, the quote from 2 Timothy doesn't seem to overshadow or contradict anything stated, as far as word usage and meanings are concerned.

no you are right. However, in most sermons I have heard agape is mostly associated, or I perceived it to be, equated with only a christian love. however, I stand corrected. :)

[Some edits were made for clarity]

It actually makes sense in the context everyone has brought up. Thanks for the additional input, Everesto.

Perhaps it could be understood this way: Demas loved the world personally, in his heart, in a very close way... and then forsook the Lord for it?

In short, "He gave his ultimate love to the world, instead of Jesus."

I wasn't trying to stir the pot, just wanted to get some discussion and see what everyone thought. :) It's been very enlightening thus far.

As far as I know, agapao and agape are just two different forms of the same word. One is a noun form and one is a verb form. One is the "idea or concept" of love, the other is the "action" of loving (if my memory serves). I didn't have my interlinear on hand to see which exactly it was in this case of 2 Timothy. I would assume it's the verb form.

It is generally used for God and Christ, but as in this case with Demas it does show up elsewhere.

Any input, Philologos? It's all Greek to me! :D

The main explanation usually is that agape is a godly love and phileo is somehow a bit selfish.
Not necesarily... They have the same meaning in some context and different meaning in other...

The Father loveth (agapao) the Son... John 3:35
For the Father loveth (phileo) the Son... John 5:20

Star, You wrote:

“The disciple whom Jesus loved.” We know this can’t mean He only loved one of His disciples; but it is obvious that Jesus had a special relationship with this disciple that was distinct from His general love for the others. We also know that Jesus loved all the people of Israel, yet He had a special love for Lazarus as indicated by the message He received from Martha and Mary, “Lord the one whom you love is sick.” The Greek word used to indicate this special personal affection in both of these passages is “phileo.”

In fact BOTH agape and phileo were used in reference to the unnamed "other disciple, whom Jesus loved" and BOTH agape and phileo were used in reference to Lazarus. (See TheDiscipleWhomJesusLoved.com for more on this.)

So, given that BOTH words can be with regards to a person one would have to recognize that the word therefore is not merely dependent on the person that is being referred to, but rather it may have more to do with the timing of the use of the word or other factors.