Hello
So i have been struggling with blatant sexual sin (lust) in my life for many years. I have read all the books, prayed all the prayers, fasted, church hopped, attended 12 step groups, church service etc. however here i am still wallowing in my sin. Why is that? Well it has been made clear to me that i have not died to self. Sad to say it took me years to understand what the bible has so plainly stated.
This would also address the long standing question in my mind of what actually constitutes a Christian. I used to think it was simply to accept some doctrinal statements and then to pray the sinners prayer and bang... you are in the kingdom forever. After all it is not by our works and is by faith right? Don't give me none of that works stuff!
This also touches the issue of why most Christians in North America are indistinguishable from non believers. It seems that many Christians have heard the voice of Jesus saying "come" but have stopped cold when he said "die". I have no interest to address specific individuals when i say or think this (other than myself) as it is not my place to do so however it is a plausible explanation of why we are as a whole body so ineffective.
It has also been revealed to me that by dying to self it would not only set me free from lust but from a host of other sinful behaviours, some of which i may not even be aware of. In fact if i was dead to my flesh i might even have a Christian testimony that would naturally affect my coworkers and non Christian friends without me necessarily saying a word! That would be a far cry from my present state of being ashamed/scared to speak of Jesus at work since they may think of me as a Christian and observe my actions and see me disgrace God with my behaviour which would glorify Satan and insult God.
Oh how i would love to glorify God for a change instead of giving Satan the victory! How i yearn to be able to look into another brother or sisters eyes (expecially sisters) and not be afraid of what they might see.
But how can i achieve this? I believe i know this much from bible reading/meditation, sermons and teaching. That I should seek God in prayer so that i see myself as the wretched man that i am so that i actually have a sincere desire to kill myself. Then i must embrace the cross on a daily basis and die to self.
However i am a bit unclear on what embracing the cross and dying to self on a daily basis actually constitutes. Is it simply obedience to what you understand in the scriptures? Don't get me wrong, i am not asking for direct advice on how to die to self in my life unless you feel God is specifically leading you to say this or if there is scripture that you wish to point out.
Rather i am interested in the testimony of those walking this narrow path and can give an example of how they have died in the flesh and continue to die to self. My sincere hope is that this testimony will be used to glorify God in an admonishment and encouragement to those still cringing at the thought of dying which for some reason still includes me.
