Hi Matthew,
It sounds as if you're going deeper in the Spirit, as you have testified several times recently.
There are three verses in Hebrews which sustained me over many years.
Hebrews 4:11
Let us labour therefore to enter into that rest, lest any man fall after the same example of unbelief.
Hebrews 7:25\t
Wherefore he is able also to save them to the uttermost that come unto God by him, seeing he ever liveth to make intercession for them.
Hebrews 10:14
For by one offering he hath perfected for ever them that are sanctified.
When I read your post first, I was reminded of the words of an elderly lady who had seen the revival in Argentina (more than half a century ago, now), who shared elegantly about the seasons, and how it is needful to have winter, because this is when the tree puts its roots down deeper into the Lord as it searches for sustenance; and this too is how the tree is strengthened to withstand the frosts and storms of winter, and to become ready to bear more fruit in the following summer. I was greatly affected by this.
Since then I have heard similar things said of 'desert' or 'wilderness' experiences, (in which we don't necessarily think of those as cold, but they are, bitterly, during the nights.
With regard to 'flesh', there is a verse which I can never find, which names one of the gods which came out of Egypt with the children of Israel, which is the biblial proof that they took their idols with them - which explains the sharply contrasting commitment God asked them to make at Sinai. Understandably (thunders, lightnings, smoke on top of the mountain), they agreed at the time, but not really having any idea what would be involved to make good their word. At the same time, their instinct was to put a bit of distance between this God and themselves (by asking for Moses to speak on their behalf), but which was a big mistake - which we should try not to make.
The wilderness was a time when God tried to get Egypt out of their hearts, but like Shem (while the Ark was a-building), it was only some of those born outside Egypt (apart from Moses and Caleb), who entered the promised land - again, through a gigantic move of faith by stepping down into the deep bed of Jordan whose waters God had dried up completely. Some believe it was a pathway as wide as the Red Sea's had been, because it was in flood at that harvest time. So many pictures in there, as the priests went first, and last, speaking of Christ.
Hebrews 10:5 Wherefore when he cometh into the world, he saith, Sacrifice and offering thou wouldest not, but a body hast thou prepared me: 6 In burnt offerings and [sacrifices] for sin thou hast had no pleasure. 7 Then said I, Lo, I come (in the volume of the book it is written of me,) to do thy will, O God... 10 By the which will we are sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once [for all]. 11 And every priest standeth daily ministering and offering oftentimes the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins: 12 But this man, after he had offered one sacrifice for sins for ever, sat down on the right hand of God; 13 From henceforth expecting till his enemies be made his footstool.
I have found it easiest to reckon myself dead through Heb 10:14 and Rom 6:4, while keeping the purpose of that death - to free us from sin (Rom 6:6) - in mind. But God does want us to LIVE, to attach our hearts to things above - to become 'from above' rather than 'from beneath', and there is a lifetime of choices lying ahead for every one of us.
As I was rifling through myutmost.org to reply to Endzone in Articles, I came across 'Continuous Conversion' by Oswald Chambers, which describes this process very clearly. It's on SI in a number of places.) He also, in another entry, talks of becoming like Christ through attending to the things nearest at hand - the little duties of life - however mundane. This is soooo true. It forges character into us, while our minds are on what we think are 'higher' things.
Here is another biting truth in OC's words:
Never discard a conviction. If it is important enough for the Spirit of God to have brought it to your mind, it is that thing He is detecting. You were looking for a great thing to give up. God is telling you of some tiny thing; but at the back of it there lies the central citadel of obstinacy: I will not give up my right to myself - the thing God intends you to give up if ever you are going to be a disciple of Jesus Christ.
(Last paragraph from The "Go" of Preparation)
Young's translation of 'DISOWN', for 'lose' as in 'one's life', is helpful.
At the same time, the Christian life is not only about what we give up, but about what we gain. There are many different ways to make Bible study interesting. For instance, if you had ONLY ten verses by which to explain as much of the gospel as possible, which would you choose? Of course, there is no right answer, and it may depend on your audience, but as an exercise of heart to look at how God has developed the great themes embedded in scripture, it offers rich pickings. You can find them in the narrative, in a single book - and so on. Let the Spirit lead you, whatever you do, and if this season is about 'pray! until you pray!' then offer yourself to God as wholeheartedly as possible and worship Him unceasingly in every task.
