What about Domestic Violence?

Hi BethAnne. Forgive me if I just ask three questions of you.

Why would you want to get married again?

How can a man in a wheel chair come after you?

Why did you marry him?

I truly hope you don't mind me asking such delicate questions. You've brought up a delicate topic around here.
I hate to see any marriage break up and my heart goes out to you both. I understand if your life is in danger, that a seperation is necessary - but not a divorse - unless he commited adutery and it sounds like he couldn't.
This is all very sad and I feel for you and him. He's a very lost soul and needs our prayers as well.
Will be praying for you both, in the meantime.

Lisa, this confused me. Are we to "Search the Scriptures" or search "Derek Prince"?

I don't mind you or anyone else giving what they feel the Word of GOD says about any topic, but I think we do more harm here by always giving out a man's sermon or teaching for every question or topic that comes up.

I agree, we DO need to search the Scriptures and that's why I asked the questions that I asked. Since you quoted one of those questions but don't know why I ask that - yet.

Can you understand basically my point at trying to keep this - a very sensitive topic - with Scripture only and let your words stand here ---

All of us can tell you all day what we believe but ultimately, you will have to search the Scriptures yourself and be convinced of them because you are the one who has to live with your decisions.

- with this, I agree, because we'll stand before Him with what we've done with His Word alone.

Hi sister,

The show cause is domestic violence.

Paul wrote in Ephesians 5:28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife [see] that she reverence [her] husband.

If your marriage was never consummated, then you did not become one flesh with your legal husband. Correctly, you have gone through a legal process to dissolve the legal connection.

Regarding remarriage, even if the full terms of your first marriage had been fulfilled, if you are legally divorced, as Jesus said in Matthew 19, with 'a bill of divorcement' (which you are), you are free to remarry according to the Old Covenant, and the law of the land.

For many reasons Christians whose marriage to a Christian has broken down, don't necessarily seek remarriage, because of what Paul said about merely separating with a view to reconciliation, in 1 Corinthians 7.

I agree with the other posters that you need to search the scriptures for yourself, and be convinced in your own mind.

Under Roman Catholic doctrine, there is no case for divorce. This means many things covered by Jesus teachings in the New Testament, and Moses' leadership in the Old Testament, are made null and void.

What the Pharisees asked Jesus in Matthew 19, enabled Jesus to address directly the issues which arise from Roman Catholic doctrine today (forbidding divorce).

In Judaism, the opposite had developed - a custom which allowed a husband to get rid of his wife on flimsy reasons, SO THAT HE COULD TAKE ANOTHER. Jesus called this adultery of the heart and challenged them on it.

However, at the same time, Jesus gave the innocent party against whom adultery had been committed by a real sexual liaison, the freedom to divorce the adulterer, AND REMARRY. (Note: in New Testament Greek, 'fornication' means every possible kind of sexual liaison. Therefore, they can occur even within a marriage, and are sufficient cause for divorce to be sought by one party.)

Most of this doesn't apply to you, and it may take more than a year for you to recover from the abuse you experienced, to become healthy emotionally, and able judge sufficiently soundly, to go forward with confidence into another relationship with marriage in mind. Having said that, a good man of God would be a tremendous blessing, and the years for childbearing are going by all this time.

May the Lord comfort you and lead you. I would add that you don't have to do anything you don't want to, least of all get into a relationship with another manipulative personality.

Seek the Lord. Wait on His timing, and keep growing.

(edited for clarity)

One thing I surely can't be accused of with my online history, is a lack "straight forwardness". :)

It does concern me, from the very many threads that we've had and have here, when someone asks for opinions, counsel and the such, that up to 10 different sermons/teachings are posted to them until their heads begin to spin. I'm sure most of us have witnessed this or have experienced it firsthand.

My questions to this sister are based upon past experiences of when the topic of remarriage has come up on the forum - how heated it can get, and from my own personal experience.
You questioned my question first, and all I can say about my questions is that there is a part in our "why" we want to do things or desire them that can affect our decisions and either gear them toward GOD's personal and perfect will for our lives or away from hearing that perfect Word from Him.

I'll have to leave my answer to you with that and pray this sister finds perfect Peace with GOD and His Word, by His Spirit alone.

We can all just pray for her protection. Amen.