prayer- my love had grown cold

Dear brothers and sisters,

Can you please pray for me ? God has shown me things about my heart. He's shown me how I have given myself to lust (mental adultery against my wife), and have allowed unforgiveness to rule my spirit, when what others have done to me, is nothing at all, compared to what I've done to a Holy God. More than all this (if that's possible) is that my love for Christ has grown cold.

I want so desperately to have the kind of love I've had for Him in the past- one He alone had caused to be there. Years ago, I went through such a period as I'm going through now, and God used the ministry of dear brother David Wilkerson, to birth something new and altogether different in my heart. Brother David had preached a sermon called, 'Hatchet gods'. While the particular issue Wilkerson was preaching about (whether our Christian music glorifies God) was not an issue I was wrestling with at the time, the Holy Spirit used this sermon to show me at once, both the Love and the Holiness of God, at the same time. Each time I would listened to this sermon, I would weep.

In this sermon, Wilkerson said something to the young people who he was addressing primarily through this sermon. "Some of you young people cry yourself sleep at night, saying what went wrong, what went wrong? God wants to put his arms around you again. He wants to put you on a foundation. But God's a jealous God. Some of you give hours of your time to listen to your music, but you won't give 10 minutes of your listening ear during the day, to listen to God" This sermon completely broke me, and drove to the core of my being. I'll be honest (and this is embarrassing to admit). At the time I was listening to this sermon on tape, I was in the room with my mom and my sister. Because of how it convicted me, at one point in the sermon, I hid my face under the blanket that was warming me. So much was the conviction that I was under.

Also, immediately after this sermon was given by Wilkerson in Toronto, a prophecy was given at the conference. Although I have heard people share a few prophecies in church over the years, I have never heard one before that sounded so much like it came straight from the throne room of God. I share this prophecy that had been given, in godly fear :

"Behold, I have sent forth my Word in this place, I have gathered you from all the surrounding areas to teach unto you the words of rebuke, yea the words of correction, yea the words of life. I sent forth my word, quickened by my Spirit, and my Spirit will take that word, into the very depths and the imaginations of your being. Hunger my Word in the depths of your being. Hunger my Word in the depths of your being. For I will hold you accountable, not only for what you have heard, but how you will receive it. Do not allow your hearts to become hard. Do not allow your spirits to become dull, or the fowls of the air will steal away what I have sown this night. But if you will harken unto my Word, I will show you the armies that I have set at your disposal. The angels of the surrounding area are about you this night. Heed my Word. I send it forth, and it shall accomplish that which I have need of".

I had never set out to memorize this prophecy. But when I listened to the tape of Wilkerson's sermon, a number of times, somehow it just found a lodging place in my spirit. Oh, how I want so much to love the Lord again, in the way I did when God first allowed this preaching to strip away the awful pride- pride I've again allowed myself, to wear life a garment, so much of the time. Please pray that God will accomplish the full work in me, that he wants to accomplish. He must increase, and I must decrease, until He is everything, and I am nothing. Praise His name.

Love in Jesus,
John

I would guess that for many people who love the LORD their affection for Him ebbs and flows with life's circumstances. Sometimes hot then it cools because life become routine. No serious temptations and so we slack off in our time with him because other things will come along that demands our attention. And so it goes...and then in some subtle way the devil will whisper into your mind - oh! he is sly! about like a cat that is creeping up on a bird or a mouse feeding on the ground. Ever see it?

When I find my love for Jesus cooling, I will tell him, tell him I want to love him more but cannot find it in myself to do so, that I need help...and you know what? He loves those prayers! I promise! He is waiting there, wanting you to acknowledge it so he can assist you in this matter. In other words, just tell him what you told us and then see what happens!

God bless you, brother.

ginnyrose

Thank you for you've shared with me. I'll continue to bring this to the Lord. There are times I feel led to share things with my brothers and sisters in Christ. Even in the process of doing so, I've sensed Him ministering to my spirit. I appreciate the opportunity to share the things that are on our hearts, on this forum. This is a blessing!

God bless you, sisters.

In Jesus,
John

I can only speak for myself but there is much flesh that God is chipping away at in this drawn out process of sanctification. When I depend upon the flesh is obviously when I become less dependent on God. It takes much prayer, scripture, meditation each day and through the day just to function. If not, then I give up much ground that i will once again have to retake. It is a daily walk, not just a morning walk, it is a constant renewing not just an occasional reviewing. I meditate on the things of God. If I do not then I concern myself with the things of this world. Thus i become dependent upon Him when I lose myself in Him. I am a better man lost in Christ than one who is found in the world. What restrains you?

Dear brother and sisters in Christ,

I want to give God glory for how he's been making the needed changes in my heart. Earlier, I had been directed by saints to spend time alone in the Word of God and in prayer. When I did, I read through some places in the Old Testament, where God talked about the idolatry of the Isrealites, I felt like he was showing me how many of my sins have been forms of idolatry, no different from those of the Isrealites. I was pierced with an understanding of how wicked my sins have been. This is something God has been showing me lately, more and more in the past weeks and months.

Later, in the day I prayed, "God fill me with your Holy Spirit". I don't think I've prayed that pray for a while, but it just seemed to come out of me. Then shortly after that ( a few minutes later I think) I came and checked out the Sermon Index web site.

Immediately, my eyes were drawn to the message that had just been posted by Greg Gordon called, 'Do you *really* want to be filled with the Spirit?'

This message talked about how the way God fills us with his Holy Spirit may not be in the form of consolation and lifting us into the glorious heavenliness...that sort of thing. Instead, at first God may need to show us all the depths of the wickedness of our sins.

Just wanted to share this testimony of God's faithfulness. Thanks again for your prayers. They are a blessing, beyond words!!

In Jesus,
John

Phillipians 1:6
"For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus."