Proverbs 12:4

Proverbs 12:4 A houswifely woman is a crowne unto her husbande: but she that behaveth her selfe unhonestly, is as corruption in his bones.

A diligent woman is a crown to her husband: and she that doth things worthy of confusion, is as rottenness in his bones.

A wife with strength of character is the crown of her husband, but the wife who disgraces him is like bone cancer.

A helpful wife is a jewel for her husband, but a shameless wife will make his bones rot.

A good wife is her husband's pride and joy; but a wife who brings shame on her husband is like a cancer in his bones.

A WIFE OF NOBLE CHARACTER IS HER HUSBAND'S CROWN, BUT A DISGRACEFUL WIFE IS LIKE DECAY IN HIS BONES.

WIFE 1 -

He that is blessed with a good wife is as happy as if he were upon the throne, for she is no less than a crown to him. A virtuous woman, that is pious and prudent, ingenious and industrious, that is active for the good of her family and looks well to the ways of her household, that makes conscience of her duty in every relation, a woman of spirit, that can bear crosses without disturbance, such a one owns her husband for her head, and therefore she is a crown to him, not only a credit and honour to him, as a crown is an ornament, but supports and keeps up his authority in his family, as a crown is an ensign of power. She is submissive and faithful to him and by her example teaches his children and servants to be so too. (MH)

One that is loving and chaste, constant and faithful, obsequious and submissive to him; that is diligent in the affairs of her house, takes care of her family, brings up her children, and keeps up a good order and decorum among her servants, is an honour and credit to her husband. Such is the true church of Christ, who is compared to a woman, Rev_12:1; to a woman of purity and chastity, whose members are virgins, not defiled with the corruptions, errors, and superstition of the apostate church; to a woman of fortitude and courage, as the word (m) signifies, who resists sin, temptation, error, heresy, and idolatry, even unto blood; and whose true members love not their lives unto death, but freely lay them down in the cause of truth; such an one is an honour to Christ her husband.(Gill)

That is, bringing glory and honor to him. A crown honors a person. Kings are given crowns for the honor of their office, and athletes are crowned to honor sporting achievements. A great wife honors her husband by the pleasure and esteem she brings him, and she also crowns his authority by her own submission and that which she requires of her children. A crown is a grand piece of jewelry, and a virtuous woman is such to her husband! A strong, noble, virtuous wife is a reminder to others of the qualities -- not just of her character -- but also of HIS character, that he was able to win such a wonderful woman. As a "crown", she adorns and beautifies his life, making it, so to speak, a joyous festival, a continual celebration.

WIFE 2 -

He that is plagued with a bad wife is as miserable as if he were upon the dunghill; for she is no better than rottenness in his bones, an incurable disease, besides that she makes him ashamed. She that is silly and slothful, wasteful and wanton, passionate and ill-tongued, ruins both the credit and comfort of her husband. If he go abroad, his head is hung down, for his wife's faults turn to his reproach. If he retire into himself, his heart is sunk; he is continually uneasy; it is an affliction that preys much upon the spirits. (MH)

Makes her husband ashamed, by her levity and wantonness, her negligence and slothfulness, so that he is ashamed to be seen with her, or to be known that he stands in such a relation to her; she is as rottenness in his bones; a constant grief to his mind, a pressure upon his spirits, a wasting of his body, and a consumption of his estate; she is, as the Targum has it, "as a worm in wood", which rots and consumes it.(Gill)

By contrast with the noble and virtuous wife, the shameful (immodest, lazy, wasteful, and weak) acts of such a woman will eat away her husband's strength and influence and destroy his happiness. A man may be crippled by his spouse -- the would-be "help-mate" who is not suitable to him. He may be unable to realize his sincere goal of usefulness to others by reason of his association with her. It is a great tragedy. (The LXX reads: "As a worm in a tree, so an evil woman destroyeth a man.")

Truly affecting is the contrast of a contentious imperious, extravagant, perhaps unfaithful, wife; in the levity of
her conduct forgetting her proper place and subjection: seeking the admiration of others, instead of being satisfied with her husband's regard. This is indeed a living disease-rottenness in his bones;marring his usefulness; undermining his happiness; perhaps driving him into temptation, and "a snare of the devil."

Young man, think about rotting bones. It is what you will suffer, if you marry hastily or foolishly. 'Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting' (Pro 31:30). Being single is heavenly compared to marriage to the average woman in our society (Pro 19:13; 21:9,19; 27:15,16). Virtuous women are rare, very rare. You will need to trust the Lord, hunt far and wide, be critical, and trust wise men to help you in your search.

Let a young woman,in contemplating this holy union, ponder well and in deep prayer its weighty responsibility. Will she be a crown to her husband, or one that maketh ashamed? Will she be what God made the woman--"an help meet" (Gen. 2:18); or--what Satan made her--a tempter--to her husband? If she be not a crown to him, she will be a shame to herself. If she be rottenness to his bones,she will be a plague to her own. For what is the woman's happiness,but to be the helper of her husband's joy? Oh! let their mutual
comfort be sought, where alone it can be solidly found, in "dwelling together as heirs of the grace of life." (1 Pet. 3:7.) Better never to have seen each other, than to live together forgetful of this great end of improving their union as an indulgent gift of God, and an important talent for his service, and their own eternal happiness.

Proverbs 31:12 She will render him good, and not evil all the days of her life.

She helps him and never harms him all the days of her life.

She makes it her constant business to do him good, and is afraid of doing any thing, even through inadvertency, that may turn to his prejudice, Pro_31:12. She shows her love to him, not by a foolish fondness, but by prudent endearments, accommodating herself to his temper, and not crossing him, giving him good words, and not bad ones, no, not when he is out of humour, studying to make him easy, to provide what is fit for him both in health and sickness, and attending him with diligence and tenderness when any thing ails him; nor would she, no, not for the world, wilfully do any thing that might be a damage to his person, family, estate, or reputation. And this is her care all the days of her life; not at first only, or now and then, when she is in a good humour, but perpetually; and she is not weary of the good offices she does him: She does him good, not only all the days of his life, but of her own too; if she survive him, still she is doing him good in her care of his children, his estate, and good name, and all the concerns he left behind him.(MH)

Instead of abusing confidence, she only seeks to make herself daily more worthy of it; not fretful and uncertain,
caring "how she may please her husband" (1 Cor. vii. 34), doing him good, and not evil, all the days of her life.

Would that it were always so! But look at Eve--the help-meet becoming a tempter; Solomon's wives drawing away his heart; Jezebel stirring up her husband to abominable wickedness; Job's wife calling upon her husband to "curse God, and die;" the painful cross of "the brawling woman"
--this is a fearful contrast--evil, not good.

Often again is it a mixture of evil with the good. Rebekah caring for her husband in the act of opposition to God, yet wickedly deceiving him;Rachel loving Jacob, yet bringing idolatry into his family; Michal doing good to David at first in preserving his life, evil afterwards in despising him as a servant of God. Often we hear of prudent management, but not in the fear of God, connected with a teasing temper.

But in this picture it is good, and not evil. Her husband's comfort is her interest and her rest. To live for him is her highest happiness. Even if her minute attentions to this object are not always noticed, yet never will she harbour the suspicion of indifference or unkindness; nor will she return fancied neglect with sullenness, or by affected or morbid sensibility force on a feverish interchange of expression, which has little substantial foundation.

This course of disinterested regard and devoted affection, when conducted on Christian principles, commends most graciously the 'holy and honourable estate of matrimony.' If it implies subjection, it involves no degradation. Indeed no greater glory could be desired, than that which is given to it, that it should illustrate "the great mystery,"-- "Christ and his Church," the identity of interest between them; her trials his;his cause hers.

1 Cor. 11:9 Neither was the man created for the womans sake: but the woman for the mans sake.

And the man was not made for the woman, but the woman for the man.

Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.

Mark 2:27 And He said to them, The sabbath came into being for man's sake, not man for the sabbath's sake.

And he said to them, "The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.

And he said to them, The sabbath was made on account of man, not man on account of the sabbath.

1 Cor. 11:9 - The immediate object of woman’s creation. “The man was not created for the sake of the woman; but the woman for the sake of the man” Just as the Church, the bride, is made for Christ; and yet in both the natural and the spiritual creations, the bride, while made for the bridegroom, in fulfilling that end, attains her own true “glory,” and brings “shame” and “dishonor” on herself by any departure from it.(JFB)

For the man was not created upon the woman’s account. The reason is plain from what is mentioned above; and from the original creation of woman she was made for the man, to be his proper or suitable helper.(Clarke)

Mark 2:27 - God never designed it [Sabbath] to be an imposition upon us, and therefore we must not make it so to ourselves. Man was not made for the sabbath, for he was made a day before the sabbath was instituted. Man was made for God, and for his honour and service, and he just rather die than deny him; but he was not made for the sabbath, so as to be tied up by the law of it, from that which is necessary to the support of his life. Secondly, God did design it to be an advantage to us, and so we must make it, and improve it. He made if for man.(MH)

Man was not made for the sabbath as the rabbis seemed to think with all their petty rules about eating an egg laid on the sabbath or looking in the glass, et cetera. “The sabbath is delivered unto you and ye are not delivered unto the sabbath.” Christianity has had to fight this same battle about institutionalism. The church itself is for man, not man for the church.(RWP)

Gen. 2:18-24 Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is right for him." The LORD God had formed all the wild animals and all the birds out of the ground. Then he brought them to the man to see what he would call them. Whatever the man called each creature became its name. So the man named all the domestic animals, all the birds, and all the wild animals. But the man found no helper who was right for him. So the LORD God caused him to fall into a deep sleep. While the man was sleeping, the LORD God took out one of the man's ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. Then the LORD God formed a woman from the rib that he had taken from the man. He brought her to the man. The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She will be named woman because she was taken from man." That is why a man will leave his father and mother and will be united with his wife, and they will become one flesh.

Ver. 18. "And the Lord God said, It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him."

By these words, Adam's state, even in innocency, seems to crave for help; wherefore it is manifest that that state is short of that we attain by the resurrection from the dead; yea, for as much as his need required earthly help, it is apparent his condition was not heavenly; "The first man is of the earth, earthy: the second man is the Lord from heaven" (1 Cor 15:47). Adam in his first estate was not spiritual: "That was not first which is spiritual, but that which is natural;and afterwards that which is spiritual" (5 46). Wherefore those that think it enough to attain to the state of Adam in innocency, think it sufficient to be mere naturalists; think themselves well, without being made spiritual: yea, let me add,they think it safe standing by a covenant of works; they think themselves happy,though not concerned in a covenant of grace; they think they know enough, though ignorant of a mediator, and count they have no need of the intercession of Christ.

Verse 19 "And brought them unto Adam, to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof."

In this Adam was a lively type of the Lord Christ's sovereign and glorious power over all flesh: "Thou hast given him power over all flesh, that he should give eternal life to as many as thou hast given him" (John 17:2).

"And brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them."

So Christ nameth the world; whom he will he calleth saints;and whom he will he calleth the world, "ungodly," "serpents," "vipers," and the like. "I pray for them, I pray not for the world" (John 17:9).

"And whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof."Even as Christ passes sentence, so shall their judgment be.

Ver. 20. "And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field." So Christ judgeth of angels, devils, and men.

"But for Adam, there was not found an help meet for him." All the glory of this world, had not Adam had a wife, could not have completed this man's blessedness;he would yet have been wanting: so all the glory of heaven, considering Christ as mediator, could not, without his church, have made him up complete. The church, I say, "which is his body, the fulness of him that filleth all in all."

Ver. 21, 22. "And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; and the rib which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man."

In these words we find an help provided for Adam; also whence it came. The help was a wife; she came out of his side; she was taken thence while Adam slept. A blessed figure of a further mystery. Adam's wife was a type of the church of Christ; for that she was taken out of his side, it signifies we are flesh of Christ's flesh,and bone of Christ's bone (Eph 5:30). And in that she was taken thence while Adam slept, it signifies, the church is Christ's, by virtue of his death and blood: "Feed the church of God, which he hath purchased with is own blood" (Acts 20:28).

"And he brought her to the man." That is, And God brought her to the man. By which he clearly intimates, That as the church is the workmanship of God, and the purchase of the blood of Christ; so yet she cannot come to Christ, unless brought to him of God: "No man can come to me [saith Christ] except the Father which hath sent me, draw him" (John 6:44).

Ver. 23. "And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh:she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man."

In that Adam doth thus acknowledge his wife to be bone and flesh of his substance,it shews us, that Christ will acknowledge those that are his: "He is not ashamed to call them brethren, saying, I will declare thy name unto my brethren, in the midst of the church will I sing praise unto thee" (Heb 2:11,12).

And observe it, He said, "She is bone of my bone". Before that God, that brought her to him; intimating, that Christ both owns us now at his Father's right hand, and will not be ashamed of us, even in the day of judgment (Matt 10:33;Luke 12:8).

Ver. 24. "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."

This ought to be truly performed in our married estate in this world. But here endeth not the mystery.

"Therefore shall a man leave his father." Thus did Christ when he came into the world to save sinners: He came forth from the Father; "I came forth from the Father, and am come into the world" (John 16:28).

"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother." The Jewish church may, in a mystical sense, be called the mother of Christ; for she was indeed God's wife, and of her came his Son Jesus Christ: yet his mother he left and forsook, to be joined to his Gentile spouse, which is now his only wife. (Bunyan)

Proverbs 27:15,16 A continual dropping in a very rainy day, and a contentious woman,are alike. Whosoever hideth her hideth the wind, and the ointment of his right hand, which bewrayeth itself.

The figure of the dropping has been given before(Chap.19:13).The time is here added--a very rainy day, shutting us up at home.There is rain without and within, both alike troublesome; the one preventing us from going abroad with comfort; the other from staying at home in peace. The storm within is however much the most pitiless. Shelter may be found from the other. None from this. The other wets only to the skin; this even to the bones. (Proverbs 12:4 A helpful wife is a jewel for her husband, but a shameless wife will make his bones rot.)

Contention with a neighbour is a sharp shower, over and gone. This is a continual dropping, the bane of a house, even though replete with every luxury. Whether the woman lusts for rule, or repines under the obligation to submit; either principle breaks the rank, in which God has placed her. Occasions always present themselves for the display of this unhappy temper. After the attempts to soothe and pacify her, the "return of clouds after rain" betokens more showers, and dispels the hope which a passing sunbeam may have raised. Unrestrained by Divine grace, she becomes her husband's torment, and her own shame.

For as soon might we hide the wind that it should not be known, or the ointment of our right hand, that it might not bewray itself; as restrain her tongue, or hide her turbulence. Nay--as the wind pent up howls more frightfully; so the attempt to still her noise only makes her more clamorous.

Such repeated warnings seem to be needful. "Fleshly lusts" too often rule conscience and judgment in the important choice. "Such shall have trouble in the flesh." (1 Cor. vii. 28.) Prudence and prayer,not blind affection, give the only security of happiness and peace.(Bridges)

Prov. 27:15-16

Here, as before, Solomon laments the case of him that has a peevish passionate wife, that is continually chiding, and making herself and all about her uneasy. 1. It is a grievance that there is no avoiding, for it is like a continual dropping in a very rainy day. The contentions of a neighbour may be like a sharp shower, troublesome for the time, yet, while it lasts, one may take shelter; but the contentions of a wife are like a constant soaking rain, for which there is no remedy but patience See Pro_19:13. 2. It is a grievance that there is no concealing. A wise man would hide it if he could, for the sake both of his own and his wife's reputation, but he cannot, any more than he can conceal the noise of the wind when it blows or the smell of a strong perfume. Those that are froward and brawling will proclaim their own shame, even when their friends, in kindness to them, would cover it. (MH)

Proverbs 27:16

This verse stands in close connection with the preceding, for it speaks of the contentious woman: He that restraineth her restraineth the wind,and oil meeteth his right hand.

The quarrelsome woman is like oil that cannot be held in the hand, which struggles against that which holds it, for it always glides out of the hand. (K&D)

Prov. 27:16

The point is the impossibility of concealment or restraint. A person cannot hide the wind, or clasp it in his hands. If he takes an unguent in his right hand, the odor betrays him, or it slips out. So, in like manner, the “contentious woman” is one whose faults it is impossible either to hide or check. (Barnes)

Prov. 27:16

Whosoever hideth her hideth the wind,.... Whoever attempts to stop her brawls and contentions, to repress and restrain them, and hinder her voice being heard in the streets, and endeavours to hide the shame that comes upon herself and family, attempts a thing as impossible as to hide the wind in the palm of a man's hand, or to stop it from blowing; for as that, by being restrained or pent up by any methods that can be used, makes the greater noise, so, by all the means that are used to still a contentious woman, she is but the more noisy and clamorous, and becomes more shameful and infamous; troublesome and uncomfortable; as in a rainy day, a man cannot go abroad with any pleasure, and if the rain is continually dropping upon him in his house he cannot sit there with any comfort; and so a contentious woman, that is always scolding and brawling, a man has no comfort at home; and if he goes abroad he is jeered and laughed at on her account by others; and perhaps she the more severely falls upon him when he returns for having been abroad.

And the ointment of his right hand, which bewrayeth itself: or calls, and says, in effect, Here am I; for the smell of it, which cannot be hid when held in a man's hand, betrays it; and the faster he holds it, and the more he presses and squeezes it, and the more it is heated hereby, the more it diffuses its savour, and is known to be where it is; and so all attempts to stop the mouth of a brawling woman does but cause her to brawl the louder. (Gill)

Prov. 27:16

Whosoever hideth her hideth the wind - You may as well attempt to repress the blowing of the wind, as the tongue of a scold; and to conceal this unfortunate propensity of a wife is as impossible as to hush the storm, and prevent its sound from being heard.

The ointment of his right hand - You can no more conceal such a woman’s conduct, than you can the smell of the aromatic oil with which your hand has been anointed. The Hebrew is very obscure, and is variously translated. Coverdale thus: “He that refrayneth her, refrayneth the wynde; and holdith oyle fast in his honde.” That is, he attempts to do what is impossible to be done. (Clarke)

Prov. 27:16

Hideth — or, “restrains” (that is, tries to do it); is as fruitless an effort, as that of holding the wind.

The ointment of his right hand — the organ of power. His right hand endeavors to repress perfume, but vainly. Some prefer: “His right hand comes on oil,” that is, “cannot take hold.” Such a woman cannot be tamed. (JFB)