I've had trouble before, and now again with this issue. I know I have to repent, however, even if I do and cry over it, I end up doing it all over again, as if I never meant anything with my repentance. So instead, I give up... My heart is not right, I want it to be. (most likely I do not want it enough, intentions aren't everything) It's hard do what is right.
This verse about Esau:
Hebrews 12:17 For ye know how that afterward, when he would have inherited the blessing, he was rejected: for he found no place of repentance, though he sought it carefully with tears.
I got this verse once a couple of years ago, in my worldly life, when reading the bible. I've grown up in a Christian family, and got born again 10 years ago, then 4 years after that I slowly drifted from my faith, not rejecting it, but not living it. I so often wanted to come back to the faith (and I did 2 times for different periods), though the last time I was in my worldly life, a couple of years ago, I got that verse I quoted. I tried to repent, but it just drowned in my everyday sinning and isolation. I decided to never go back to those days ever again, but now I'm almost back where I started. And its tough to know what to do. Something is wrong... and I need help.
How does repentance work? I know the drill, I have enough bible knowledge, still when I'm in the most need of it, I have no clue what to do. What does knowledge of the Bible and Theology matter if there is no life & actions?
Rick Warren has this shortening I think is good: YBH?(Yes but HOW?)
