So normally I don’t share stuff like this on the internet, but I wanted to praise God and hopefully encourage someone with this. (Sorry it’s so long!)
So I’ve been really stressed out lately and my left eye has been twitching almost constantly for over a month. I had lost almost all my joy and hope and peace. I felt like I was developing a critical spirit and I was not liking who I was becoming.
Well over the last week God has been opening my eyes and convicting me through many different things. And it is amazing how gently He did this. (THAT alone is convicting…) First it was this quote from the book “Crazy Love” by Francis Chan: “When I am consumed by my problems – stressed out about my life, my family and my job – I actually convey the belief that I think the circumstances are more important than God’s command to always rejoice. In other words, I have a “right” to disobey God because of the magnitude of my responsibilities. … Both worry and stress reek of arrogance.” Then a sermon from my pastor about discouragement. Then I got The Herald in the mail and it was all about prayer (which I struggle with) and didn’t want to read it because just looking at it was convicting. Then I read Luke 11:39-52 the woes unto the Pharisees. This really got my attention. And I began to realize that I was becoming a Pharisee. YUCK. I am so glad God opened my eyes to see this before it was too late.
So I finally read a couple articles in The Herald and was like, “I NEED to fast and pray!” So I fasted yesterday (Wednesday) and I think I spent close to two hours in concentrated prayer. Those were the LONGEST two hours of my life! And the whole time I felt hopeless. Like the heavens were shut. But I kept at it. I got up off my knees feeling like God wasn’t even listening. So I grabbed my Bible and read Jeremiah 29:12-13: “Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” So I just kept repeating to myself, “I called upon Him, He listens.”
So I decided to finish reading the Herald and as I was reading the article on prayer and fasting it was like the light came on and joy slowly flooded my soul. God just wrought an incredible joy in me. It was amazing! And my eye stopped twitching! And when it started again later that night (we had youth group) I just said to myself, "No you don't! God's with me! His joy is in me!" And it stopped! PRAISE THE LORD! I can't even describe the gratitude I feel that He would be so gracious to me. Me! Who am I?! Ah Sovereign Lord I LOVE YOU! Thank you for listening to my weak feeble prayers!
Then today while I was at work (I clean motel rooms), every time I felt my eye start to twitch I just began to pray for whatever it was I was thinking/stressing about or I would praise the Lord or sing to Him and it would stop. Just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. I never thought it would stop. I am soooo happy and grateful that God opened my eyes and was merciful to me. This really brought home what I read this morning, Luke 18 especially verse 1: “And he spake a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint.” Always pray, not faint. Yes. Because God is listening!! We must remember that God is eager to hear the prayers of His saints! How wonderful!
I hope this encourages someone to seek God in prayer and fasting. Whether for yourself or someone or something else, He hears and answers! Hallelujah!
Thanks for listening to me ramble! :)
