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divorce and remarry?

J
jhtg Jul 15, 2011

I know everybody believes that Matt. 19:9 says "except for sex immorality" is exempted in commiting adultery.. but remember Deut. 24:4 the woman or wife was "defiled".

Do God's commandment(standard) not permission(human standard or hardness of people's heart) about divorce and remarry... If we are really serious about marriage we will understand God doesn't really like divorce and remarry.. just try to understand all the passages about marriage, divorce and remarry. Not only one verse.

Remember also Pharaoh, God "hardened" his heart.. it is the same with people(hardness of their hearts) about marriage, no matter what God's commandment people will still do divorce and remarry even without the permission. Hardness of their heart is sin, Pharaohs hardened heart is sin, both God allowed it. therefore remarry is sin. Matthew 19:5 "they are no more twain but one flesh",therefore what GOD hath joined together let NOT MAN put asunder.

sermonindex Jul 15, 2011

jhtg, if the girl is really super HOT, then it's OK to marry her even if she's been divorced! Just kidding you jhtg. But let's face it, there are a lot of cute 20-something and 30-something women out there that have been divorced and have a 5-year old child. When I used to meet these women in my 20s and 30s, I could not understand how any man would ever walk away from what seemed like such a good situation.

Luke 16:18 comes to mind:

Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.

Jesus said it was a hard saying, and He said that not everyone would be able to handle it. Do I think that a divorced Christian woman with a 5-year-old child is somehow condemned to being single the rest of her life? No, I do not. Same goes for a Christian man in a similar situation. But, I will tell you my experience because that's all I have to go on. When I was about 33 or 34, I dated a cute Christian girl for a year that had a 5-year-old child. She was a really nice girl and the little kid was fun to play around with. Kids are so cute. Her husband had treated her badly, and she was really kind of still wounded from that relationship even though she had been divorced for at least a few years. When her ex would come over to pick up the kid, they would sometimes fight. There was still some real tension there. I just felt like I was dated somebody else's wife the whole time even though they were divorced. Some of it probably had to do with problems of my own and my own insecurities. So I could never really let myself go with her. I couldn't really love her the way I really wanted to just completely love one girl.

But I would say that if the Lord gives you a release to be involved with somebody that has been divorced, that we should certainly accept His grace for that situation. But you may have the thoughts I had, "Is this really my girl or is this still somebody else's?" Plus, the Lord told me before we even started dating that we wouldn't get married, so maybe I was being dishonest with her.

S
sarahsdream Jul 15, 2011

Responding to endzone's joke about "really hot".

It is common knowledge that many that are involved in pornography have very attractive wives. This is a spiritual problem and not a physical one. Even though Tiger Woods is not a Christian, he is a prominent example of this. Jimmy Swaggart is a Christian example. And, I am sure you can name many more.

Attractive wives (physically) are not the answer to stem this epidemic. It is complete surrender to Jesus Christ. Buddha cannot help and Tiger will find this out and hopefully it will be part of his path to Jesus.

Sarah

J
JB1968 Jul 15, 2011

Luk 16:18 Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.

But I would say that if the Lord gives you a release to be involved with somebody that has been divorced, that we should certainly accept His grace for that situation

Will He go beyond His Word? That is dangerous to think. Be careful.
God will not change His Word for any man. However, God will give grace beyond measure to serve Him in sincerity and truth.
2Co 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

sermonindex Jul 15, 2011

I like that, "God will not change his word for any man". So, what does man do? He changes God's Word to fit his lusts.

J
JB1968 Jul 15, 2011

So, what does man do? He changes God's Word to fit his lusts.

The printed edition may be changed, but it does not change the eternal edtion.
Psa 119:89 For ever, O LORD, thy word is settled in heaven.

sermonindex Jul 16, 2011

JB1968, I understand what you are saying and it is a good point. Also I Cor. 7:10-11 Paul seems to speak directly to this:

10And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:

11But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

But the Bible also says in the same chapter that it is better to marry than to burn. Do divorced people suddenly have their sex drives disappear? What about the woman who is divorced and her husband has remarried? Now there is no possibility of being reconciled to her husband as Paul puts it. Or what about the man whose wife has remarried? Is he condemned to a life of burning with lust or will God change his desires somehow?

So, let's get you on the record here. Are you willing to write letters to every mainstream church in America and tell them that their pastors should not perform marriages for people who have once been married? Are you willing to write to every JP and tell them that what they are doing is wrong in this regard? Why do churches allow couples to come into their church where one has been divorced? Why don't we tell them that they are not allowed to remarry? What sayest thou?

K
keepingfaith Jul 20, 2011

Paul wasnt speaking to the divorced when he said better marry than burn. That was for virgins and widows. He already said we must remain single if divorced because we are still bound to our spouse as long as they are alive...1cor7:39

This is confirmed by Jesus who says EVERYONE who divorces and marries another commits adultery and anyone who marries a divorced person commits adultery. They would both have to be schizophrenics to then say if you do marry you have not sinned. Romans 7 says it all...

But like Jesus said most wont accept the truth or the narrow way. This argument is already settled when God commands us to keep our unconditional vows and not call them a mistake...eccl 5. That verse has a pretty strong warning its sad how easily people thumb their nose at these verses while calling Him Lord.

Its very telling when a church teaching results in a divorce rate that is no different than the world. We should stand apart and our lives should be a light that reflects Christs love and mercy the same way the Father loved His prodigal son with a love that really believes hopes and endures ALL things...cor 13.

Husbands love your wives the way Christ loves the church...eph 5. Are you really willing to argue with that statement?

J
JB1968 Jul 21, 2011

Amen, keepingfaith.

So, let's get you on the record here. Are you willing to write letters to every mainstream church in America and tell them that their pastors should not perform marriages for people who have once been married? Are you willing to write to every JP and tell them that what they are doing is wrong in this regard?

Is this a reasonable request? These pastors can read the Bible, right?

Amos 8:11 "Behold, the days come, saith the Lord GOD, that I will send a famine in the land, not a famine of bread, nor a thirst for water, but of hearing the words of the LORD:"

Do divorced people suddenly have their sex drives disappear? What about the woman who is divorced and her husband has remarried? Now there is no possibility of being reconciled to her husband as Paul puts it. Or what about the man whose wife has remarried? Is he condemned to a life of burning with lust or will God change his desires somehow?

Doesn't God have overcoming grace?
Rom. 6:1-2 "What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? God forbid."
There may be struggles, but God has grace for every trial. God is not limited by human sinfulness and sex drives. Right?

K
keepingfaith Jul 21, 2011

You asked why pastors allow divorced remarried people in their church and perform these sinful ceremonies. I guess for the same reason some let same sex couples in...they ignore scripture. God tells us that most are false teachers and few are true. The sad hypocrisy is most who approve of remarriage do not approve of homosexuality and would turn them away or tell them to repent.

Titus 1 gives the reason... it says they teach things they should not teach and tear apart families for the sake of sordid gain. They love those unscriptural tithes.

K
keepingfaith Jul 21, 2011

You asked why pastors allow divorced remarried people in their church and perform these sinful ceremonies. I guess for the same reason some let same sex couples in...they ignore scripture. God tells us that most are false teachers and few are true. The sad hypocrisy is most who approve of remarriage do not approve of homosexuality and would turn them away or tell them to repent.

Titus 1 gives the reason... it says they teach things they should not teach and tear apart families for the sake of sordid gain. They love those unscriptural tithes.

K
keepingfaith Jul 21, 2011

Sorry for duplicate post my phone is messing up and I cant figure out how to delete a post

sermonindex Jul 21, 2011

You "holier than thou" types are busy behind your computer screens. Just in the interest of full disclosure, I'm 54, and I've never been married. I also dated a girl for a year and even though she was divorced I felt like she was another man's wife.

But I wonder if you pharasee types are completely right. It's easy to hide behind your keyboard and proclaim how holy you are on this subject.

http://www.divorcehope.com/canchristiansremarryafterdivorce.htm

J
JB1968 Jul 21, 2011

Sad...

L
Lysa Jul 21, 2011


As to the original post, part of the problem lies in that it was started by a one post Charlie (agitator) (probably someone we all know and love but has underlying issues about divorce and remarriage).

Read the second paragraph:

---“Do God's commandment(standard) not permission(human standard or hardness of people's heart) about divorce and remarry...” ---

It starts off as an innocent question but meanders off into statement against it… (And by the way, where are all you died in the wool grammar folks when you need them?!! LOL)

--"Remember also Pharaoh, God "hardened" his heart.. it is the same with people(hardness of their hearts) about marriage, no matter what God's commandment people will still do divorce and remarry even without the permission. Hardness of their heart is sin, Pharaohs hardened heart is sin, both God allowed it. therefore remarry is sin."--

I believe that a hard heart is what causes divorce. But I’m trying to understand your logic… let me see if I have this straight… since God caused (let’s say), your spouse to have a hard heart and not you and a divorce ensued, God will punish you as well as the hard hearted one? I definitely do not agree with your logic of the Scriptures at all.

But God bless you anyway, whoever you are!
Lisa

E
Enochh Jul 21, 2011

you know I'm gonna throw my two cents in here. First off

Endzone...you may be 54 but your actin like a 12 year old..."are they hot"..."you holier than thous"...get a grip guy repent of your proud heart. as to your link 'Divorce Hope' they said "This Scripture could not be talking about forbidding to marry in general. Nobody would listen to such nonsense preached." They must have never heard of the Shaker's. I don't really care what you or they have to say. I care what the Lord says.
Now I'm in a situation where divorce is going to be the outcome. She filed, her heart is hardened. But the sad part is not her leaving me its her hardness of heart to the Lord.
Jesus said "But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

Ok so how do you justify marriage to a divorced person. Its adultery.

Oh and as for the escape clause "saving for the cause of fornication"....married people do not commit fornication. They commit adultery. This was talking about the time between "engagement" until marriage. Remember Joseph when he found out Mary was with child? He being a just man sought to put her away (divorce)privately. But the Lord directed him other wise. What God has joined together let no man seperate....not judges, lawyers, hard hearted spouses. If thats they biggest cross I have to bear in this life I feel blessed. Hey I could be some place where they took my children, my home , my life. He who does not take up his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me....Its not about our happiness. Its about Him

K
keepingfaith Jul 21, 2011

What does believing the Word of God have to do with being “holier than thou?” Trust me I know what a hard pill it is to swallow, but who am I to argue with God? Isn’t that what “believing” means?

The Pharisees were the ones who wanted to use the law to divorce…they were the ones who wanted to stone the adulteress. Not my position.

Those who divorce (or endorse it) appear “holier than thou” when they judge a spouse for their short-comings, and show no mercy. This takes an extremely prideful (not to mention hard-hearted) heart. It is the epitome of hypocrisy for a divorced person to say “don’t judge me for judging my spouse.”

We “holier than thou’s” believe in forgiveness and redemption. We don’t believe adultery is the “unforgivable sin” and we can divorce for that reason and use someone else’s sin to justify our own. True humility sees the person through God’s eyes and loves them with hope, the way Hosea loved Gomer even after all her harlotry. Didn’t Jesus say not to cast stones unless we are without sin?

I’m sure you’ve heard of the Apostle Paul who was Saul… no one is beyond redemption and no marriage is beyond redemption when at least one spouse is willing to remain faithful and obedient. Paul says “how do you know o wife whether you will save your husband?” True faith believes “with God all things are possible” and “nothing is too hard for Him.”

It shouldn’t be too much to ask for us to lay down our lives for our spouse if they are in rebellion, after what Jesus did for us…

1 John 3:16
“We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.”
Matt 16:25
“Whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.”

K
keepingfaith Jul 21, 2011

Lisa said:
"since God caused (let’s say), your spouse to have a hard heart and not you and a divorce ensued, God will punish you as well as the hard hearted one? I definitely do not agree with your logic of the Scriptures at all."

Did God not predestine that Jesus would be crucified? Did He not MAKE His OWN SON suffer and cause all those people to turn against Him?

The Bible is full of righteous people suffering at the hands of the wicked. What does God mean when He says it is better to suffer for doing what is right than to suffer for doing what is wrong?

1 Peter 2
"For this finds favor, if for the sake of conscience toward God a person bears up under sorrows when suffering unjustly. For what credit is there if, when you sin and are harshly treated, you endure it with patience? But if when you do what is right and suffer for it you patiently endure it, this finds favor with God. For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps WHO COMMITTED NO SIN, NOR WAS ANY DECEIT FOUND IN HIS MOUTH..."

Job lost everything but his life was restored even more. It says the Lord brought all that evil upon him. There is a purpose in suffering...the Bible has lots to say about it. It is not God "punishing" the innocent party.

The true prophets in scripture were all hated and rejected, their lives were not peachy, they endured much tribulation. Was God punishing them?

sermonindex Jul 21, 2011

oh no.

J
JB1968 Jul 21, 2011

I've heard this quote more than once.

"God is more concerned with our holiness, than our happiness."

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