jhtg, if the girl is really super HOT, then it's OK to marry her even if she's been divorced! Just kidding you jhtg. But let's face it, there are a lot of cute 20-something and 30-something women out there that have been divorced and have a 5-year old child. When I used to meet these women in my 20s and 30s, I could not understand how any man would ever walk away from what seemed like such a good situation.
Luke 16:18 comes to mind:
Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.
Jesus said it was a hard saying, and He said that not everyone would be able to handle it. Do I think that a divorced Christian woman with a 5-year-old child is somehow condemned to being single the rest of her life? No, I do not. Same goes for a Christian man in a similar situation. But, I will tell you my experience because that's all I have to go on. When I was about 33 or 34, I dated a cute Christian girl for a year that had a 5-year-old child. She was a really nice girl and the little kid was fun to play around with. Kids are so cute. Her husband had treated her badly, and she was really kind of still wounded from that relationship even though she had been divorced for at least a few years. When her ex would come over to pick up the kid, they would sometimes fight. There was still some real tension there. I just felt like I was dated somebody else's wife the whole time even though they were divorced. Some of it probably had to do with problems of my own and my own insecurities. So I could never really let myself go with her. I couldn't really love her the way I really wanted to just completely love one girl.
But I would say that if the Lord gives you a release to be involved with somebody that has been divorced, that we should certainly accept His grace for that situation. But you may have the thoughts I had, "Is this really my girl or is this still somebody else's?" Plus, the Lord told me before we even started dating that we wouldn't get married, so maybe I was being dishonest with her.