I had somewhat of a revelation this week while reading in Mark 16, the account of Mary Magdelene, Mary, the mother of Jesus, and Salome came to the tomb to anoit Jesus' body with spices. A while back, I wrote this in another thread: But...he does say that all men will know that I am his disciple by the love which I have for others, and I know I am not loving as I should. All I know to do to change that is to humble myself before God and ask him to teach me how to love. I think it is pride which makes me look down my nose at others who are seemingly dragging behind. Oh Jesus, I hate this! I can see it, I just don't know how to change it. I'm coming to believe that there is nothing I can do to come to God on my own. I can't just "realize" something is wrong and "fix" it. I don't know how to fix it. I really wish I did care for my neighbor. Perhaps the beginning of change is realizing you have a problem. I need help and God is the only one who can help me.In Verse 2-3 of Mark 16, it says, "Early the following morning, just at sunrise, they carried them (the spices) out to the tomb. On the way they were discussing how they could ever roll aside the huge stone from the entrance."I once read that the stone which covered Jesus' tomb was so large it would take about 20 men to move it. Why would 3 people go to this tomb knowing that they could not move this stone? They were compelled to go. They wanted to see Jesus. They didn't know how they were going to accomplish the impossible task of moving the stone, but they went anyway. They went driven by love. I want to see Jesus revealed in me. I have discovered that there is an impossibly large stone covering the opening of my heart. God alone can move it. My heart's cry has become, God, please roll away the stone to my heart and come forth. I've tried everything to be a good person and I'm still just mean. I need a miracle. I need a miracle from heaven to change my heart and I'm believing that God is doing it. God bless you all. Dian.
