seeing the truth about myself

I am writing this because I believe that when God opens our eyes to sin we need to confess it no matter how painful it might be. Last night I had a dream and I know with out a doubt it was from God. In His mercy He has shown me some things about myself that I am so ashamed of. I'm such a selfish person and I realize I have no real deep love for others, at least not as I should, not the kind of love that would put others needs first. Its the attitude of my heart that is so very lacking, I love things, and stuff more then I care about people. Without even truly realizing I have been storing up treasures for myself here. Always making sure that "we" have enough and not really seeking to live my life for Jesus or extending myself to others. Seeing myself as I am...all I can say is how very sorry I am. Sorry to my Lord for my sin against Him. This is a struggle for me because I know the Lord wants me to be more giving to reach out to people, to care about more then myself, but I am afraid. What I saw in that dream, I was so stunned that I could be that person and yet I know deep down that I am. Forgive me Lord and help me please to not be that person any more. Amen

Hebrews 12v6, 'For whom the Lord loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives'.

God bless.

Thank you enid for sharing this with me. It is a good reminder and very encouraging to me just now. Sometimes its really difficult to see these things about myself, I guess I can get caught up in thinking "I'm not that bad" but faced with seeing my sinful, wicked, heart as I have I realize its only Jesus that is good! I use to struggle sometimes thinking that I felt like I was loosing a part of me, a part of who I am but now I see that there is nothing of who "i" was that is worth holding on to. I have shed some tears this day, but it has been a really good day because God cared so much that He took the time to show me these things about myself. Its not a pretty reflection in the mirror I see right now but as more of "me" dies away and more of "HIM" shines through I know one day it will be!

Thank you again for taking a moment out of your day and sharing this with me.

God bless
mary

http://www.worldinvisible.com/library/murray/secret_cross/cross.htm

THE SECRET OF THE CROSS
by Andrew Murray

Day31
THIRTY-FIRST DAY

TO HIM BE THE GLORY

"Unto Him who loved us, and washed us from our sins in His own blood, and hath made us kings and priests unto God and His Father; to Him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen." --Revelation 1:5,6.

Some of my readers may feel that it is not easy to understand the lesson of the cross, or to carry it out in their lives. Do not think of it as a heavy burden or yoke that you have to bear. Christ says: "My yoke is easy, and My burden is light." LOVE MAKES EVERYTHING EASY. Do not think of your love to Him, but of His great love to you, given through the Holy Spirit. Meditate on this day and night, until you have the assurance: He loves me unspeakably. It is through the love of Christ on the cross that souls are drawn to Him.

We have here the answer as to what will enable us to love the fellowship of the crucified Jesus. Nothing less than His love poured out through the continual breathing of the Holy Spirit into the heart of every child of God.

"UNTO HIM WHO LOVED US" -- Be still, O my soul, and think what this everlasting love is that seeks to take possession of you and fill you with joy unspeakable.

"AND WASHED US FROM OUR SINS IN HIS OWN BLOOD" -- Is that not proof enough that He will never reject me; that I am precious in His sight, and through the power of His blood am well-pleasing to God?

"AND HATH MADE US KINGS AND PRIESTS UNTO GOD AND HIS FATHER" -- and now preserves us by His power, and will strengthen us through His Spirit to reign as kings over sin and the world, and to appear as priests before God in intercession for others. O Christian, learn this wonderful song, and repeat it until your heart is filled with love and joy and courage, and turns to Him in glad surrender day by day: "To Him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen."

Yes, to Him, who has loved me, and washed me from my sins in His blood, and made me a king and a priest --TO HIM BE THE GLORY IN ALL AGES. Amen.

Hi Mary

Just think, He has blest, loved and used you this whole time knowing all this about you! Love covers a multitude of sins!
Now He wants to give you greater freedom by showing you these things. Closer to Him is brighter, which reveals more of our
"bad stuff" as well as dispelling the darkness. God bless you on your journey.

Russell

Mary Jane, thank you so much for your honest sharing. I think God is calling us all to this kind of awareness of our total need and His total sufficiency. I pray for that kind of revelation in my life!