Called or not?

Hello, I am new here. I like what I've read so far. Here is my dilemma, In 2006 I surrendered to God's call to preach. I attended Bible College for a year thru the churches help. One day I went to class and it no longer felt like "home" in my spirit. I ignored the feeling and the next week my car has broken down.I got the message and stopped school.I have preached in a few churches and my own. My church has licensed me to preach. My dilemma here is that I feel I have been brushed aside from the Lord. I am at times doubting any ministry. I am active inmy church, but still feel cast away in a sense. The Lord has been silent except for a passage of scripture He gave me in late 06', Proverbs 27:23-27. I feel very beat up and drained of life if you will. Any help out there? depression is in the mix also

My brother, the silent times of God's seeming disinterest are indeed hard to bear.

When you pray, you feel you get no answer, and begin to doubt you were even heard. You wonder where you are going, and if you are doing what you are supposed to be doing...you come to think that you were not called at all, or that you walked in a wrong way towards a wrong goal.

Well, part of the above is true. YHVH wants us to seek Him with our whole hearts, and to stop worrying about the goal you are headed for, or even the ones you believe you desire.

We are to seek what He desires, and that is a day by day alert attention to walk in Yeshua's footsteps without concern about where those footsteps lead.

Adonai never brushes any of us aside, but He can seem very silent while He watches to see what direction we will take toward Him. As for His silence, Abba is never silent... but He does not always speak in words, or heart to heart. Instead He will open doors, close windows, place stones to trip over, and allow all the wiles of the Adversary to come against you to test and chastise you, and teach you, bit by bit, that this life is a continuous battle to go forward.

As for your sense of being depressed, depression is anger about your situation turned against yourself, punishing yourself with your anger for not walking perfectly, nor doing all that you think you must do to please Yeshua.

Forgive yourself for giving in to tangled thoughts and fears, and choose just one or two things to begin to do well in each day. Each day you accomplish even the simplist acts of grace or service, even if it is only to be kind to others, and kind to yourself will begin to add up to a balm for your heart.

Our problem as Believers is always to try and be perfect and walking in glory before we have even figured out how to crawl, or in what direction to crawl in.

Adonai will never leave you alone, even if you do not sense Him near. Know instead that He IS there, sympathizing as you stumble through your days, and lending a quiet boost from time to time.

The tests are patience, endurance, and perseverance.

No matter how badly you stumble, and how much you feel alone, keep going forward, if only on your hands and knees until the day you suddenly find you can walk again, and that you have caught a whispered word calling you forward yet further. It will come.

Q

Poetic and true, thank you

Hi Alpo,

Proverbs 27:23-27 (KJV)
23Be thou diligent to know the state of thy flocks, and look well to thy herds. 24[For riches ] are[ not for ever: and doth the crown ] endure[ to every generation?] 25[The hay appeareth, and the tender grass sheweth itself, and herbs of the mountains are gathered.] 26[The lambs ] are[ for thy clothing, and the goats ] are[ the price of the field.] 27[And ] thou shalt have[ goats' milk enough for thy food, for the food of thy household, and ] for[ the maintenance for thy maidens.]

Have you considered the meaning of this passage beyond financial provision? The same Holy Spirit is available to and can teach and speak through the flock He has put you among. I can imagine that this experience is very humbling and even frightening to have the Voice of the Lord be silent towards oneself. If you will be humble to be washed in the Word through your brethren, He will lift you up in the right time.

Boy do I know how you feel, thank you for your honesty because I can relate. :)

I have had this feeling of something more in my heart, meaning I can be something more than what I am. Do you know what God told me? Patience my son, I have you where you need to be not where you could be.

I remember questioning if I had ever been called at all and then I listened to a Paris Reidhead sermon that I highly recommend called If We Agree. Brother Reidhead as a young missionary was asked by the board of Missions Are you called to be a Missionary in Africa? and Why do you feel this way? Brother Reidhead is response is now my focus and my goal. He said I was am not called to Africa I am called to a Person that being Jesus Christ and right now Christ is without a doubt leading me to Africa.

And when the Lord calls us He is calling us not to a position or a place but a PERSON :) Jesus is who we follow and listen to and we simply follow like a good little sheep. How do we know if we are called? Were you called out of death to life? Then you dear brother are called to Christ and its now your duty to Follow that call where ever it may lead.

God is sometimes silent and it really hurts us, BUT the word says these momentary Light Afflictions are working up for us an Eternal weight of Glory! How AWESOME! Is it fun? no, but then again we were never promised fun.

As for your past going to school, before you left did you sit down and seriously pray about leaving? Sometimes we are tested and tried and many may not agree with this but the Lord uses the works of the Devil to do so, Satan plants doubt and feelings of insecurity in our brains and that is the test will we listen to the doubt and insecurities OR will we believe the Truth Our Lord and Savior. A car breaking down, unless you are certain it was the Holy Spirit telling you to leave and give up, is a coincidence the devil may have used to discourage you further, but that is between you and the Lord.

In my times of trails and silence I held onto a few promises the Word of God provides and you can take to the bank, God will never leave you nor forsaken you, and EVERYTHING is done for the Good of those that Love God.

You maybe thinking great I may have been decieved by Satan and missed my calling and to that I would say Hogwash You are Called to Christ and HE has you right where He wants you. I use to get really nervous and lose faith and become depressed in times of Silence but NOW I worship and thank the Lord for the silience because it is in the times of Silence and Depression we really cling to Him and press into Him and where we Grow in Him. He uses it for His Glory, Honor, and Praise. Take heart brother You are still called, but be patient with Our Eternal Father after the Valley is the Mountain and After the Silence is the New Direction.

Know God is doing a New thing in you and He loves you very much, Don't let that depression drag you down and praise Him in and out of the Storm. :)

God Bless,
Matthew

Alpo: When you surrendered to God's call on your life you knew you were called did you not? I would bet that as you move toward fulfilling His call on your life you will have many times when the enemy fights hard against you. I don't believe in interpreting emotion or circumstances as God's message to you. Your car breaking down does not mean that God is trying to tell you that you missed it. I am not trying to sound like I am being smart with you or trite, but your car probably broke down because it is wearing out as all machinery does. If you have battled depression that is probably the reason for the sudden emotional feeling of not being at home at the school. Seek God in prayer. He WANTS you to know what He desires you to do. But if God told you to prepare to preach His word then I believe you should go about doing just that. He is not inconsistent and He is not wishy-washy about His will like you and I can be.

how much have you been fasting for preparation for ministry ,,what is you perceived motavation for ministry

how long are your daily prayers

bless you brother ,

There seems to be a commonality to what you are experiencing in the life of some one called by Him.
In the process of preparation,and even in implimentation, you are sensing your inadequacy..you are possibly taking your journey throught that wilderness where you can leave behind the life of bondage you had in your own personal Eqypt...
I was pondering Job yesterday, and a thought came to me:
not only was God demonstrating His sovereignty before the whole cosmos, He was really taking Job on a journey of sorts. Job was a righteous man, God said so Himself, and even along the insuing turmoil, Job held to the goodness of God. At the end of the ordeal, when he had relinquished his will to God (tho He slay me...yet I will praise Him)....something followed that was quite splendid.
God revealed Himself to Job.
I think sometimes we miss that. When God speaks to Job here, it does read like a correction or rebuke, but I believe that God was doing more here...He had brought Job to this point so He could do something, open a window that before had not been opened in his life, as if He were saying :Job, now you have relinquished your life to me, what you once heard of, and even have followed and honored, I will now reveal: Myself.
You could go through seminary, and have a hunky dory life, be a "sucessful" pastor, have a big church, and teach your people to be nice. OR, you can go through the dark valley of preparation, and end with your life so submitted that you can really say: "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." From what you are saying, it sounds like it is Gods intention to take you through this valley.
Be of good cheer, He who has begun this good work in you is faithful to complete it.

I meant to say, a the end of this valley will be a greater revelation of Him, and your calling will be clear and sure. God Bless you, I am praying for you!