Hi Chris,
You wrote:
"According to the greek dictionary, the word 'drunk' means 'to intoxicate'. Everything from beer to hard liqours are called intoxicants, because drinking them does exactly that, it intoxicates.
And the warnings that I remember hearing about drinking and driving say 'impairment' that is, intoxication, begins at the first drink."
Why are you mixing secular definitions regarding what constitutes 'impairment' with biblical truth? There is no confusion in the scripture concerning this, it's very easy to spot someone who is drunk, there's no ambiguity whatsoever.
Yes, I'm very familiar with Ephesians 5 where is says "don't be drunk with wine" notice it does not say 'don't drink wine at all' in fact it doesn't say this anywhere in the Bible. There are many scriptures that speak of being drunk and abusing wine though (Proverbs "Wine is a brawler").
In 1 Timothy 3 Paul gives the 3 different standards that Christians fall into one way or the other, here they are:
"Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task. 2 Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. 4 He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full[a] respect. 5 (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?) 6 He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. 7 He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil’s trap.
8 In the same way, deacons[b] are to be worthy of respect, sincere, not indulging in much wine, and not pursuing dishonest gain. 9 They must keep hold of the deep truths of the faith with a clear conscience. 10 They must first be tested; and then if there is nothing against them, let them serve as deacons. "
Elder (overseer) = Not given to drunkenness
Deacon = Not much wine
Everyone else = No direction given except Ephesians 5 (don't be drunk with wine) and Thessalonians (nor drunkards) as well.
We would both agree on what a 'drunkard' is I think.
Additionally you wrote:
"This may be incorrect, so someone correct me if it is, but I also remember hearing that wine was consumed in place of clean drinking water also, that is as a substitute."
You are correct here, Paul told Timothy not to only drink water but to also drink some wine in what appears to be a chronic stomach ailment that Timothy was experiencing.