BrotherTom I'll answer your question this way. If you think King Saul is among the redeamed, then I believe I am too. If you think King Saul is going to be in hell, then I think I am too. My life has been a parallel of his but on a much more obscure scale. King Saul clearly was anointed of the Lord and had the Holy Spirit. In fact he is one of the few OT characters that the Bible says clearly had the Holy Spirit upon them. But King Saul got in a lot of trouble because he really didn't have a heart to completely obey the Lord. And speaking of pride, King Saul had a huge problem with pride in this way; He wanted to take the joy, the life, the power, the wisdom of the Holy Spirit and consume that blessing upon his own lusts rather than obey God. King Saul is also a mystery man that I think very few people understand. One minute he is prophesying under the power of the Holy Spirit, and the next minute he flies into a demonic rage and throws a spear at David. I believe very few people can understand this man, and I think that's why there aren't many sermons on him either. Do you think he will be in heaven? I guess most people don't?
Here's another way I'll answer your question if I am/or ever was saved. I thought I posted this on this board, but maybe I didn't. If you read this below, do you think this guy is unsaved and doesn't have a relationship with the Lord? Can I tell you that on such and such and so and so a date I received Jesus Christ as my Lord and savior? No, sorry I can't tell you the exact date or even the exact circumstances for that matter.
In 1995 I was sitting in the back of Calvary Cathedral International church in downtown Ft. Worth , and I prayed as earnestly as ever, "Lord I wish a tornado would come through here and destroy all this". I prayed that for 2 reasons. One was that the "laughter movement" had gotten very out of hand for a few years although it was very real when Rodney Howard-Brown came through in 1992. Also the church was a circle shape and the acoustics in the church were horrible. Five years later that is what happened in the year 2000. A tornado touched down and stayed over the church for 2.5 minutes. The building was destroyed, but not a single person was hurt. The church was fully staffed at the time. The finger of God was on that tornado as He pushed it down on only the buildings He wanted it to touch. It would touch down then go up and move on and then touch down again.
In 2000, I was at a Wendy's restaurant in Bellevue , WA . There was much political debate at work about the next president. As I sat there in Oct/2000 with my absintee ballot, I voted for Pat Buchanan which I was planning to do all along. The Lord spoke to me in the most poignant way ever, and He asked, "Are you sure you really want to do that"? Then He showed me that this race would be so tight and so close that we wouldn't know who the next president would be for days and possibly weeks or months. I wasn't exactly sure how long the Lord was telling me this would go on--just that as time went on the resistance against Bush would weaken. It was clearer than an audible voice. This is when Bush barely won Florida by about 1,500 votes. It went one for days or weeks about who would be the winner.
When the snipers were out in Washington , DC a few years ago, I simply went to the Lord in prayer and I asked the Lord if He would be pleased to reveal to me who was doing the killing. The Lord spoke to me, and He said, "It's 2 black guys from the Tacoma, WA area and one is a lot older than the other, but they are both under 40". That's what the Lord said. I thought about going to the FBI, but since I had this sin problem in my life I was always shy about telling people things the Lord revealed to me.
A couple of years ago before they even took the first vote in the Senate on Obama's health care bill, the Lord spoke to me about it, and he said, "It will pass, but there wont be any teeth to it". The Lord was saying it would pass, but it wouldn't be enforceable. It failed to get 60 votes in the Senate and then the democrats lowered the bar for it to pass with 50 votes.
Do you think the guy doing the writing in these words below is that of an unsaved person?
I just want to tell you a couple of stories that illustrate how very involved the Lord is in our relationships. Both of these incidents happened when I was still in the illicit sexual behavior that has been in my life for a long time. Whether you believe them or not, they are absolutely true and I'm not going to exaggerate one bit.
When I was about 32, I was driving to a Steven Curtis Chapman concert at a place in Euless, TX called Footloose. It was a Christian entertainment type thing that isn't there anymore. Anyway, I had been praying for a while to the Lord that I might be able to meet a Latina type woman. I know that may sound weird, but I have always been attracted to petite dark-haired or brunette women. Maybe I just felt inferior dating a "normal" white girl. I guess that had something to do with it. Anyway, when I was about 1 mile from Footloose, the Lord spoke to me (not audibly) as clearly as ever and He asked, "You want a Latina girl?" I'm telling you that's what He said. I arrived at the concert and took a seat towards the back in the middle section before the concert started. I was sitting by myself. Sometime just before the concert started, I noticed there was this really cute petite Latina type girl sitting next to me on my right. I had been sitting by myself, but the place had begun to really fill up. This girl had the whole Latina look with the blue jeans and bright red shoes and dark hair, etc. She was about 5'1" tall and probably weighed about 100 lbs. I talked to her off and on during the concert. She was from Nicaragua and her family had just came to the United States during the Contra freedom fighter thing that was happening in Nicaragua during the Reagan Presidency. She thought she didn't speak good English, but she really spoke good English. She was an adorable girl. She was 21 years old. During the concert this girl kept bumping into me too which I thought was unusual. I know you may think this is funny, but it's true. When the concert was over I stayed in my seat for a while because I wanted to wait for the crowd to die down before I left, and I also wanted to buy a couple albums. This girl got up to leave with the people she came with. As she was waiting in the line to get out the door, she kept looking over at me like, "you moron aren't you even going to ask me for my phone number?" Unfortunately I had on my mind what I was going to do in Dallas after I left the concert which was not good. It wasn't until a while afterward that I actually realized what had happened and what the Lord spoke to me just before I got to the concert that night. The thing is, I wanted to do things my way (illicit) by going to Dallas instead of the Lord's way which was to start a relationship with this beautiful girl I had met at this concert. She was what I had requested (physically anyway) in prayer, but I was too stupid or whatever to trust the Lord in this situation. I wanted to handle things my way.
Fast forward about 14 years and I guess I was about 46 at the time. I had gone for almost a year without the illicit activity in my life. I thought that I was over it. I went to a TCU football game in Ft. Worth, TX near the time of Thanksgiving. I prayed for a while before I went to the game, and I was praying that the Lord would deliver me from going to the strip places in Ft. Worth where there were drugs and prostitution. As I was praying the Lord spoke to me just as clearly as he had the first time and He said, "There is someone at the game I want you to meet". I didn't know what to think of this, but I didn't think I had my act together enough to start a relationship. I went to the game. It was a night game and due to being near the holidays there weren't quite as many people there. TCU was winning and they upset #17 ranked Louisville at that game. There was this girl I had noticed there that was so attractive to me. She was the type of girl that I had told the Lord I would like to have as a wife. Again, I'm talking physical attraction here. You know how shallow us guys are about this. Anyway, this girl was "hot" to use the modern term. At least she was to me and I thought I wish I could meet somebody like her. I thought for sure this girl had to be married. I never more than glanced at her, and she never saw me looking at her. With about 2 minutes left in the game I moved down to a completely different section of stands near the 10 yard line. I did this because I was making my way out of the stadium and wanted to beat the crowd out a little bit. I was about 4 or 5 rows back in this section of stands and there was NOBODY in this entire section of stands except me. All of the sudden this girl that I had noticed walks down and stands right next to me!! I looked at her, and she kind of awkwardly looked away out of embarrassment I guess. Now, my mind is racing. This time I realize that I am right in the middle of what the Lord told me was going to happen. But I begin to justify in my mind why I can't have a relationship with this girl. I'm not enough this or that or the other thing. I never opened my mouth and after about a minute or two of her standing there, she went back to hang out with the people she came to the game with. I didn't talk to her because I can't talk to women. I have no problem with that or making conversation, etc. I guess I just couldn't believe that a girl as attractive as this girl was would really like me if she knew who I really was. So guess what? After the game was over I went to the seedy section of Ft. Worth like clockwork.
The moral of these two stories? The Lord knows the number of hairs on each head of all 6 billion people on Earth, so surely He can "hook you up" with somebody if you will just seek Him about it. It's no big deal to Him. When we insist on going our own way or insist on this person or that person, we may very well get them but it could also mean more problems. The Lord may very well give us what we want. I just found that going my way has lead to heartache and ruin. It is the opposite of true love, closeness, intimacy, children, family, etc. all the things I really wanted--not just sex.