I would urge you to reconsidering in leaving SI...you will likely be back, again, won't you?
Mother, i AM back, and would to God, He use my words, my heart, my soul, this keyboard with His Love, salted with Grace and Mercy, devoid of ego and pride, and all the muck and junk inherent in this jar of clay.
isnt it obvious, i am back, God in His Good Pleasure saw fit to first crush me, i wont bore you with that testimony, then in His Love He allowed me to flee Jerusalem and come into the land. come into the desolate places, where i live now, moved up here to the wild wood on 21 may, and then to put me in a cave, and then lead me to give study and prayer to those Giants of the Faith, the major Prophets, the minor Prophets, over and over, searching, asking, "Father God, show me your Attributes, show me the Messiah's Attributes, show me the Heart of the Prophets, show me the Heart of the followers of Jesus Messiah!!", and then God the Holy Ghost led me Back into the Gospel Accounts, eating of This Logos...and then one day, i read of a man, excoriating my precious brother Michael Compton, who i love, and i could hold my tongue and keyboard no further, and rebuked this poor man, who i beg God to bless with a Fresh Touch of Jesus.
Mother Ginny, how God loves me your son!!!! His Mercies and His Goodness are all around, a fire burns in my bones. Mother, he has GIVEN me a beautiful cabin on ridge, 2,00o feet in altitude, He has given me barns, barns i so desprately long to gather my brothers and sisters in to pray, He has given me poor land, which must be refurbished, with wisdom....He salted me with Love, meaning the ridge i live on, has neighboring farms, filled with dear souls who have harbored hate for one another, i introduced myself to them all, and each one of them detailed this hate, and i said to them this, "if i ever do anything to offend you, or make you angry, i beg you in Jesus, just come to me, tell me my offense, and you will hear these words from my mouth, 'i'm so sorry, please forgive me, how can i make this right'...and i told them, i CANNOT play into the hate, because i have nothing but Love for you'........you should have seen their faces, they didnt expect THAT. coz THAT is Jesus' Love...not mine, fore "God is love, He who lives in Love, lives in God and God IN him"....God IN him, you, us, the Church.
God told me, "start here, preach the Gospel with love HERE, on this ridge, then go out, into the towns, WHEN I tell you to, and only then. That outward Call i have yet to recieve, but i'm tarrying and i'm HAPPY in God!
Yet i have a thorn in my flesh, but i rest in Him. i have grief in my soul, on this account, my dear son and his mother, who divorced me, are 2,000 miles away, how i long for these two dear people. (i'm crying right now) thats why i never endevoured for an "office" in the Church.....i'm a divorced man. i havent had any doings with a woman since she divorced me. i was the one that made a hash out of this marriage, it was my fault, and i miss her so much, she was not only my wife, but my dearest friend, and still is, as we talk many times during the week.....and she actually extended an invite to me to fly to central coast california to spend Thanksgiving with them, which fills my heart with joy. i cant say anymore on that, except to say, i beg God to give me this marriage back, IF it is His Will, otherwise, i shall never seek another...i CANT...Bless you all for giving me the courage to testify my failings, for they are many.
many of you know, for years, my tent making was in the entertainment industry, such labor, i loathe. i have three books burning in my soul...all books of the Faith...different though. (dont worry! no "shacks"! LOL) but one book is a about a Japanese warrior, a man who changed history, his "memoirs", where he finally reveals to a nation, that he was not what he seemed, he was a Christian....hidden, but its belief that ONE man can change history....another book, i desire to write of the Attributes and the Heart, of both God, Messiah, the prophets and his followers, ONLY as the Lord leads....
But Mother, i AM back, and my prayer is that i be a blessing, however weak and small, in this tent of flesh, i have little time left, and must make the most of it, for Jesus, Whom i love, our Precious Messiah, Whom we all love, and follow, neil