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CONFINED TO THE KITCHEN? The Lord Doesn’t Put Women in This Box

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pilgrim777 Nov 2, 2011

It breaks my heart to see the same worn-out ideas about the “woman’s role” parroted over and over again in source after source. During our recent travels a brother gave me an article, “The Godly Woman’s Role & Influence” by Marlin Kreider (Reaching Out, #69, 2011, Living Waters Mennonite Church, pp.5-6). I would like to deal with several aspects of this article in hopes of helping us discern Christ’s will concerning the full-functioning of the brothers and sisters in his body on earth.

The author expresses a desire to find “God’s way of doing things,” but important information is omitted from the Biblical story that does not fit the box that women are put in.

For example, the first point regarding the “role for women” is “submission.” The article gives the impression that submission is specifically a female issue. This distorts Paul’s thought. Paul mentions the submission of wives only after setting forth the beauty of mutual submission of all believers one to another. Submission is first of all a manifestation of the Spirit among those in the ekklesia. In other words, it is just as important for males to be submissive as it is for females. To lift submission out of its body context and primarily connect it to females is to open the door for dangerous distortion and abuse.

Further, the article states that “suitable helper” translates into meaning that a woman “fill a subordinate role under the direction and protection of a godly father or husband.” This position creates some serious problems, for the Hebrew word “ezer” is most often used of the Lord, who is said to be “the helper of Israel.” Doesn’t this show once and for all that “suitable helper” cannot mean a “subordinate role” for the woman? If anything, it would highlight the strength of Eve.

Building on these mistaken assumptions, the article then suggests that

“God never planned for a woman to fill a man’s role. She is out of her God-ordained place when she assumes leadership in the home, the workforce, the church, or the nation. She was not created to be an executive, wear a hard hat, and the like.”

This statement reveals a central issue: an either/or mentality sets up a false alternative – either the woman stays at home and stifles Christ within her, or she expresses Christ outside the home and forsakes her domestic responsibilities. This approach flies in the face of the Biblical narrative.

What about Deborah and Huldah? They were both prophetesses and both expressed their gifts outside the home in the community of Israel. Yet, they were both married, and probably had children (Judges 4:4; 5:7; 2 Kings 22:14; 2 Chron. 34:22). Deborah also functioned as a Judge – “Deborah would sit under the Palm Tree of Deborah, which was between the cities of Ramah and Bethel, in the mountains of Ephraim. And the people of Israel would come to her to settle their disputes” (Judges 4:5).

What about the many women who traveled with Jesus and the male disciples (Luke 8:1-3)? They even supported Jesus and the twelve with their own resources. Shouldn’t they have been dutifully in their homes cleaning, cooking and baking? It was scandalous for a rabbi to have female disciples, and even more scandalous to have them traveling with Jesus’ entourage!

What about Phoebe? She was a deacon in the ekklesia of Cenchrea (Romans 16:1-2). What about Junia? She was outstanding among the apostles as an itinerant worker (Romans 16:7). Why does Paul designate some women as “co-workers,” the same word used for apostolic assistants like Titus and Timothy? Why does the New Testament not have any problem with sisters praying and prophesying in the gatherings of the saints (Acts 2:17-18; 1 Corinthians 11:5)?

As a side note, it is interesting to observe that those who place a heavy emphasis on a woman’s head being covered also usually forbid women to speak in the assembly. But that is the opposite direction from where Paul landed. Paul’s goal was for women to function with praying and prophesying, not to silence them (1 Cor. 11:5, 13).

The view that women are confined to the kitchen is usually linked with the idea that all good believing girls will get married and have children. But under the new covenant singleness is a viable option for men and women (Matthew 19:11-12; 1 Corinthians 7). To put younger and older women under heavy guilt if they do not pursue marriage is to deny the freedom Christ has bestowed upon us.

In Luke 10:38-42 we find a beautiful story that shows us vividly the Lord’s heart. Mary was in the “men’s space,” learning at Jesus’ feet. Martha was carrying out the responsibilities connected to having guests. She was frustrated that Mary was not helping with the preparations, but abiding in the living room with the male disciples. Jesus in no way put down what Martha was doing, but he did make it clear that Mary’s choice to be outside the kitchen was an excellent and acceptable one.

Nothing I have said should be taken as a downplaying or demeaning of motherhood. I am simply trying to bring needed perspective to a view that tightly and narrowly defines the “role” of women in a way that is seriously out of alignment with Christ’s revelation. Deborah held the public position of Judge, she publicly carried out her gifts as a prophetess, and yet she was also a “mother in Israel.”

– Jon Zens

For further reflection:

Karen Campbell’s article, “The Cult of ‘Godly’ Womanhood,” is soon to appear in the Midwest Christian Outreach Journal. Here is a shortened version of this excellent piece: http://www.thatmom.com/2011/07/21/the-sins-of-partiality-and-triviality-and-the-curriculum-that-promotes-them/

Jamal Jivanjee has put together many vital perspectives in his blog-post, “The Universal Enslavement of Women”: http://jamaljivanjee.com/2011/09/the-universal-enslavement-of-women/

Jon Zens, No Will of My Own: How Patriarchy Smothers Female Dignity & Personhood. http://www.amazon.com/No-Will-Own-Patriarchy-Personhood/dp/0982744633/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=131899

Jon Zens, What’s With Paul & Women? Unlocking the Cultural Background to 1 Timothy 2. http://www.amazon.com/Whats-Paul-Women-Jon-Zens/dp/0976522292

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ginnyrose Nov 2, 2011

And the point is...???

I wear a head covering and am not stifled in any way.

I help my husband in his business. We grow tomatoes hydroponically. I do everything he does except tend to the mechanics of the operation, like collecting waste oil for the furnaces and keeping them running.

We are allowed to speak in church - we just are discreet and not demanding. I compiled the church bulletin for eleven years sharing inspirational pieces to fill the white space and nobody complained - they liked it. Oh, sure I will never be voted in for trustee, or anything of that nature, but I am not deprived of anything.

We ladies have our own little world in which we excel in: we teach Sunday School classes - children and other women. We are church hostess, take charge of church cleaning in which men and women work.

We have large families. In our church the size varies from one child to eight - many have 4-5 children. And many of these moms home school.

Many of these moms have gardens and preserve its produce by canning or freezing. They may also have venison or pork or beef processed that is in the freezer.

I did all the above when our children were still at home. In addition to helping my husband now I sew modest garments for those in need. I love this project - this is one God gave me and it has been a wonderful blessing. In fact I wish I would never get physically, or mentally tired because I really would love to sew 24/7! I am privileged and blessed. To suggest otherwise means someone is totally ignorant of what it takes to make a female tick!

And if a lady chooses to not marry, she is not deprived. She will likely go to nurses training to become an RN, or she may go to the mission field and put in a lot of time there. Locally, there is a older Mennonite single girl that just purchased a farm supply store that sells feed, farm animal meds, chain saws, weed eaters, saddles, etc. Some are business women.

Deprived? What are you talking about? You suggest that a married mother with the responsibility of caring for a family ought to leave the home and pursue a career? To have this mentality is consistent to being abusive! That husband must be lazy and not caring and loving his wife!

To be a SAHM is a wonderful blessing and privilege. We have many opportunities to minister, to do the things God intended for us ladies and it is very fulfilling. I do not envy the career woman who has to go to the office every day and meet cranky people and demanding schedules! Nor do I envy the ladies who are in church leadership and have to deal with cranky males! That would be torture and maddening! I think there is a reason why God ordained males to these positions - females do not have the emotional stamina to do such.

Submission is not a bad thing. For us it means we work alongside our husbands in our work and home. However, if there is a disagreement, he will do what he thinks is best, even if it means going against his wife's wishes. This happens in every home, unless the wife tells her husband where to get off and stay out of her way! Now, this is not kind, IMHO. He does not carry a big stick and hit us over the head with it!

We wives have so much responsibility that it is nice to see the men assume theirs and give us some relief!

So I wear a head covering? What of it? God has blessed me with many opportunities to witness for Him because of it. I know that my obedience means that the Angels are aware of it...I have little to no fear of my own personal safety...

Me deprived? Ya kidding! I have so many opportunities that I used to say I wished I could live to be 200 years old so I could do all the things I want. When I told someone this, she told me "Good luck!" Lately, I have decided that perhaps 90 years sojourn on this planet would suffice or even be excessive!

My take...my testimony..

PS: My husband read this article and he approved..or is that demeaning? [EDIT]

S
savedtoserve Nov 3, 2011

Good post, Ginny!

sermonindex Nov 3, 2011

Most "prodigals" come about when the balance of power between mother and father is off.

The woman can claim that she's submissive - but if she is the more out-spoken one or the obvious stronger personality of the two - the children pick up on this, very much so.
If the father is more laid back and the teddy bear type of guy and Mom is somewhat of a power-house [though she thinks it's 'spiritual' to be so] - the children and teens truly do get thrown off kilter by Power-Mom and she does come off more "macho" than Dad.

Most of the prodigal sons are the sons of powerhouse woman who claim 'submission' but lack much in being a true gentile woman of GOD. One who can hide the fact that she 'may be' more out-going than their Dad or more "learned" or a better teacher of spiritual things, or even more spiritual than their father is. A true mother can hide those things from her children and others.
Anyone taking the time to getting to know these type macho-woman will understand the confusion it would bring to a home, where despite her speeches of submission and such - it's obvious who wears the pants of superiority.
Spend sometime with a family in their home and you'll see who the real boss is or the one who believes that they're the spiritual 'head' of their home. Who talks more - him or her?


Just my two cents.

sermonindex Nov 3, 2011

Hey Sandra, could you e-mail me, I have lost your e-mail. I have a question that I would like to ask you offline............bro Frank

appolus@aol.com

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dietolive Nov 3, 2011

Encouraging responses everyone.

Reading this article at the top of this Thread reminds me of a recent thread that Brother Greg had posted; one part in particular:

"The liberation movement has challenged God's blueprint for womanhood. Women are clamoring for freedom and fulfillment by asking for total equality. This puts them into a power struggle- into a competitive role instead of a complementary partnership. Their quest for freedom only leads them into bondage." - The Woman's Role in the Plan of God - a tract


To escape what the Scriptures literally say to them, feminists clamor for freedom from the supposed bondage of them. In the end though, the feminist just brings herself into a different kind of bondage, which the Scriptures call "the fear of man."

True freedom in Christ, on the other hand, gives us all the courage to trust God when He tells us to submit to rightful authorities in our life. By obeying God's actual word to us, we demonstrate that we FEAR HIM, rather than any man.

Instead of looking for ways out of the various texts that some do not wish to take literally, we should rather read the instructions of the apostles to us very seriously and very literally. We should compare Scripture with Scripture in their contexts, allowing the various commandments to harmonize, as the original Spirit Who "breathed" them out intends.

And what comes from reading the inspired words of the apostles in this way, one may ask? What emerges is the kind of sold-out, fearless, entirely submitted, simple believer in GOD and HIS WORD that feminists are truly TERRIFIED of.

A.W. Tozer describes such a believer well:

"...he will stand in flat contradiction to everything our smirking, smooth civilization holds dear. He will contradict, denounce and protest in the name of God and will earn the hatred and opposition of a large segment of Christendom...

He will love Christ and the souls of men to the point of willingness TO DIE for the glory of the one and the salvation of the other.

But he will fear NOTHING that breaths..." -A.W. Tozer

I know you know, dear Sisters, that the narrow way of Christ isn't easy, but be encouraged: many around the world are walking in the same Way with you. And it is supremely worth it!

Be encouraged...

God bless you all,
Doug

sermonindex Nov 3, 2011


Got to talking about "generational" things and I felt I should go just a tad-bit deeper into my own testimony, combining The Father's Love thread to this one.

All of the homes that I lived in - it wasn't the males that abused me and my brothers - it was the women and due to the fact that three generations of the men in that family were the type to give into their wives, that caused the men to not want to rock-the-boat in those homes.

I don't know if you understand what I'm saying but - a woman with a stronger personality than her husband is a dangerous thing and if she is the one to 'raise the child' and doesn't give a good father the lead, even if he's more docile, than she is hurting that child more than she knows.

I wasn't raised by any Christians - but I've seen this same principle play out in Christian homes as well.

As much as I see in our "freedoms" as women, I fear for the homes where the mother has the stronger personality [saved or unsaved] and it's just as damaging to a child as an abusive father.

Can you see my point, pilgrim777?

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ginnyrose Nov 3, 2011

The reality is that women are different from males. We all have different jobs to do. We are to cooperate with each other to get it done. My husband is so one-tracked minded he could never care for children and do housework at the same time. Men, on the other hand are so focused which explains why they cannot wash clothes, cook a meal, listen to the children - all at the same time. Men need to be focused intently on their work because so much is riding on them doing their job well - there is competition involved. My husband does his work well in the greenhouses, tending to the mechanics which would drive me crazy. On the other hand, I am very observant to the health of the plants - they 'talk' to me - and my husband depends on my insight to make the crop a success. It all comes down to using our natural abilities for the common good. Cooperation. I am his help-meet which means I am there to meet his needs in whatever way is needed. And that will vary from man to man from woman to woman. God made us wonderful - let us celebrate this differentness!

QUOTE:
"feminists clamor for freedom from the supposed bondage of them. In the end though, the feminist just brings herself into a different kind of bondage, which the Scriptures call "the fear of man.""

AMEN!

E
El-Bethel Nov 3, 2011

Dear GinnyRose and JiG,
I am really humbled and blessed by your spirit. According to Peter you are holy women who hope in God with an adornment of a gentle and quiet spirit and being submissive to your husbands. No wonder you are a blessing to many in this forum and I do not doubt you both being a blessing to those whom God has placed around you.
I Peter 3:
4 but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; 6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.

With this spirit in you, God will fulfill His purpose for you in your generation. JiG, I really thought initially that you are a brother when I entered this forum, but you have put to me shame by the depth of the knowledge you have of the Lord. I thank God for sisters like you both. I firmly believe that the Lord will bring forth many spiritual Isaacs through you. I know there are many other sisters like you in this forum. I know some sisters do not have much light presently in this area and I believe and pray that they too will get the light you have. Heb 11:35 highlights the power that manifested through humble woman.
35 Women received back their dead by resurrection;

Continue to bless this forum with your humble spirit.

Below is an article by Francis Frangipine. I’ll want to post it in a separate thread.

A Word To The Women Of God

Francis Frangipane

The Genesis Distinctions
When the Lord created humankind, He placed unique graces in man and separate, but unique, graces in woman. He told Adam to name the species of life upon earth "and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name" (Gen. 2:19). Adam was created with an organizational, administrative capacity which enabled him to identify and define the world around him.
Within the genetics of this original man, there also existed the powerful, but dormant, qualities of the woman. While Adam slept the Spirit took from the man a rib. Fashioning it into a woman, the Lord created for Adam a companion who was not only suitable for him, but one who powerfully expanded man's creative capacities. Indeed, the woman brought many new graces into Adam's world that did not formerly exist: the foremost of which was the power to conceive and give birth.
It is important to remember: God created male and female in His image, according to His likeness (Gen 1:26). Of course, in certain ways, both Adam and Eve as individuals possessed reflections of the divine nature. They each could think, speak, dream and create. However, it was in the union of Adam and Eve, in their mutual respect of one another's strengths and graces, that mankind would possess a more perfect expression of the fuller nature of God.
As Adam beheld this first female, he said, "This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man" (Gen 2:23). The term "woman" was a delineation used by Adam, identifying her as a unique variation in the species of man. She is both more complex and emotionally sophisticated.
Soon Adam began to understand the greatest power of his counterpart, her ability to conceive and bring life into the world. Recognizing this quality, Adam named her "Eve," which meant "life." Eve would play an integral part in the unfolding of life's new beginnings. "She was the mother of all the living" (Gen. 3:20).
We Need Revival
The primary strength of each gender is that man establishes, woman births. Remember, these qualities were not merely "human": they were reflections of the divine. Man's ability to bring order to one's world, to take what was random and give it definition and structure is a divine facility; woman's ability to conceive and incubate life, and then deliver life through birth is also an aspect of the divine nature.
Note also that Adam named the woman "Eve" (or "Life") before they had children. God gave the woman an ability not just to have babies, but to release life in a variety of its expressions. In fact, one translation says that Eve means to "enliven." Alone, Adam had been downcast; it was not good that Adam was alone. Eve enlivened Adam in ways no other creature on earth could. Adam could build a house; Eve made it a home. When Adam named Eve "Life," he was not only speaking prophetically of the first mother, but he spoke out of his own experience: Eve brought life into the structure of Adam's world.
While we are speaking in generalities, when we come into the spiritual realm, we see this same divine encoding replicated in the ministries of men and women. Jesus laid the foundation of the church with twelve men, whom He called to be apostles. Women excel in intercession, in spiritual sensitivity and the release of new beginnings. Again, this doesn't excuse men from prayer! For some of the Bible's best examples of intercessors are, indeed, men! We are speaking in generalities in reference to the spiritual tendencies of both genders. Neither distinction is more important than the other. Both are absolutely vital for the unfolding of God's will upon the earth.
Today, we are fighting the advance of Satan in many arenas: whether in wars and terrorist attacks or with the ever increasing expansion of iniquity in our world. We need revival. To possess a national awakening, the power God has placed in women must be released. All the efforts of man to establish laws and govern righteously will not truly transform our culture; we need the presence of God poured out. I am talking about something that is greater than government and righteous laws. I am saying that God is raising up and anointing a prayer army of women, who are about to be given even greater power as they intercede before God for their nations.
Women of God, the fact is, heaven needs you! You have been created by the Almighty to birth breakthroughs on planet earth! God has uniquely designed you with a latent ability to release life through your intercession. Together with you, we men can build and establish, and we are learning to pray, but you have a special grace to release new spiritual beginnings. Whether your prayer focus is for your husband or church leadership, whether you are interceding for your children, city or nation, you possess in your spirit the seed-realities that, through prayer, can release God's life into the world.
Yes, indeed, there is a battle; there still exists "enmity between [the serpent] and the woman" (Gen. 3:15). Satan especially hates you because it was your seed that bruised the serpent's head. It is amazing to me that God chose to bring His Son into the world, not through the heavens nor even through a woman impregnated by man, but through a woman made pregnant by God! God Himself came to earth through the woman's power to give birth!
Today the Lord is giving women a new grace, a new confidence against the powers of hell. They are not rebelling against men, but praying for them. Through their intercession, these godly women will prayer-birth powerful ministries on earth, both male and female. They will release new beginnings to the body of Christ.
Revelation 12 speaks of a "woman clothed with the sun." This word is not only talking about Israel or the church. It also reveals how God sees spiritual women: they are honored and crowned with distinction; pure and clothed with the glory of God. With confidence, they tread upon the powers of night. Dear army of praying women, it is your inherent destiny to birth that which shall rule the nations.

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ginnyrose Nov 3, 2011

El-Bethel,

Wonderful article. I think Francis Frangipane catches the heart of the matter beautifully. It is so very unfortunate that there is that spirit of me vs him in male female relationships. It ought not so to be! Frangipane demonstrates wonderfully how females are made to assist and be an extension of her husband because of the differences, the strengths God has endowed to the woman. And this can only happen when both are in submission to the LORD Jesus. Our deacon used to say that one cannot have authority unless he is under authority. This works well in husband/wife relationships. He trusts her and gives her leeway to do what needs to be done because he knows she will work to do him good and not destroy. Lots of responsibility there for a woman, one that requires the wisdom of God to be successful.

Thanks for posting this article - it s one that bears rereading..

ginnyrose

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ginnyrose Nov 3, 2011

After I posted this I got to thinking I never mentioned the spiritual aspect of submission - I focused on the practical, where the rubber meets the road.

Another poster suggested that submission to God should be foremost in the life of any couple. I agree. Both husband and wife needs to have a personal walk with the LORD. I cannot depend on my husband to be my savior because he did not shed his blood for me - only Jesus did that. I also cannot stand before the judgment seat of God and blame my husband for my failures and expect to be allowed into heaven. To serve my husband is an outgrowth of my serving God. Unfortunately, my husband is not God, but then I am not God either, so here you have two fallen creatures who are being changed from glory to glory and it can get difficult at times. But we have made a commitment to God and this is what we are responsible to and for, with God's help.

Yes, we as females must walk close to the LORD. We must have our private time with Him. Apart from that I am not sure we can even fulfill the task the LORD has set before us. It is a large one but one that can be done with the Holy Spirit empowering us.

(When my SIL left her husband, I asked my brother whether she was a Bible scholar. He said no...no surprise to me. Whenever a discussion of spiritual things came up she was always silent, had absolutely nothing to contribute. It is no wonder she succumbed to sexual immorality. She did not have the spiritual resources within to fight this temptation.)

When we submit to the LORD He will lead us in paths of pleasure and delight that the world cannot understand. They will look at us as being deprived and in bondage. When we work to fulfill our role in life as a female, then as a wife and mother, Proverbs 31 tells us that our husband will safely trust her. Think about that! What does that feel like? what are the practical implications of it? You can read the rest of Proverbs 31 and see what it looks like where the rubber meets the road...and I, as a woman who wears a head-covering, have heard many sermons by men, talks by other women based on this chapter.

(Are there abuses by males? by those in church leadership? Yes, it does exist, but not to the extent that one is forced to remain there - you can always move away from it. But this abuse of power is not limited to certain church groups, it happens everywhere. That is not the issue we are dealing with here.)

We are blessed and I wish this for all other God-fearing ladies.

ginnyrose

sermonindex Nov 3, 2011

I need one of you ladies to go make me a sandwich.

(for the "newbies" here... that was humor)

Krispy

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dietolive Nov 3, 2011

Thank you for taking the time to expand your thought here.

Laying down one's will to another fallen creature is amazing and truly wonderful in the eyes of the world.

Surely, it must be a wonderful God who calls the sisters to do this, with all the amazing grace they need to do it.

Thank you for your encouraging example.

Be well ma'am,
Doug

M
mama27 Nov 3, 2011

I have been hesitant to post on this topic because I do not have the time and emotional strength to debate like some of the more "heavy-duty posters" on this forum. But I would humbly like to share my testimony for what it's worth. I was saved at the age of 27 and had been married for 4 years at that time. My husband was not yet saved. I had been groomed for a career like most young people my age, and was working full-time in nursing. The Lord was very gracious to me in that I had a VERY long commute and "discovered" Christian radio on a bumper sticker. As with most new believers, I was SO HUNGRY for spiritual truth. I didn't even know what a Mennonite was at the time and had grown up with a feminist mother in an unbelieving home. I never heard a radio program say that women should quit their jobs and stay at home. But just from my new knowledge of the Bible, and the Holy Spirit in me and teaching about being a helpmeet to my husband, I KNEW that GOD wanted me to quit my job. Because there was no way I could work a full-time job and have my husband and my home be my first priority. My loyalties would naturally be toward my employer and my work... So I quit - and God gave me 3 years of solid Bible study before He allowed us to have children. I am grateful that my husband was in agreement, and I have never gone back to work. I recognize that some women have no choice.

I just have to say that after almost 3 decades of homeschooling 7 children, I am more convinced than ever that the nurturing and "keeping the home fires burning" is a unique and special calling of women. It is not in ANY WAY inferior or demeaning. I am the backbone of what goes on "out there" as we reach into different people's lives. I am the gatekeeper in prayer for my family...I think the spirit of the original post of "confining women to the kitchen" is what is demeaning - the heart of God is that a woman is fulfilled as she serves and completes. After all, Jesus Himself came to serve.

I just wanted to share my story....

D
dietolive Nov 3, 2011

Dear Sister,

Thank you for sharing your testimony.

A "Mother in Israel" is to be Greatly Honored in the Church of Jesus Christ.

May the Lord richly bless you ma'am, for your many sacrifices, and for your decades of labor.

Respectfully,
Doug

M
mama27 Nov 4, 2011

Dietolive,

Thank you for your kind words, but I hope I was not putting myself up in any way. What I was trying to convey was that it was not an adherence to any "creed" or "quiverfull movement".....it was GOD Himself who put this into my heart - nothing in me could have conjured it up, nor kept me going for a lifetime...Sacrifice IS the Christian life. I have lived in both worlds - the working world, and the keeper at home world. For me fulfillment has only come with the latter. I don't wish to spark debate, but I believe it is God's highest for women (and I am not speaking to those women who have to work)....

S
sarahsdream Nov 4, 2011

The view that women are confined to the kitchen is usually linked with the idea that all good believing girls will get married and have children. But under the new covenant singleness is a viable option for men and women (Matthew 19:11-12; 1 Corinthians 7). To put younger and older women under heavy guilt if they do not pursue marriage is to deny the freedom Christ has bestowed upon us.

Sure, that is true. That cannot be argued with. Pursue the Lord and find His will for your life. He directs your steps, not men.

In Luke 10:38-42 we find a beautiful story that shows us vividly the Lord’s heart. Mary was in the “men’s space,” learning at Jesus’ feet. Martha was carrying out the responsibilities connected to having guests. She was frustrated that Mary was not helping with the preparations, but abiding in the living room with the male disciples. Jesus in no way put down what Martha was doing, but he did make it clear that Mary’s choice to be outside the kitchen was an excellent and acceptable one.

A couple of names that come to mind are Jackie Pullinger and Elisabeth Elliot (who went back to Ecuador after her husband was killed).

Nothing I have said should be taken as a downplaying or demeaning of motherhood. I am simply trying to bring needed perspective to a view that tightly and narrowly defines the “role” of women in a way that is seriously out of alignment with Christ’s revelation. Deborah held the public position of Judge, she publicly carried out her gifts as a prophetess, and yet she was also a “mother in Israel.”

I understand brother. My experience is that in some homes Matriarchy hides behind Patriarchy.

This was an interesting quote:

Mike Pearl mentioned in NGJ that he never received so much response as he did with the issues of Jezebel complex, and then the Dysfunctional Patriarchy.
In light of the fact that it has been noted that often it is the wives who introduce these new concepts (they've read about?) to their husbands, Mike Pearl says that many times it is Matriarchy behind Patriarchy.
Reminded me of the latest rendering of Stepford wives, it was a woman who, "only wanted a perfect world!", that was behind everything.

I had noticed the Pearls have warned repeatedly against the wife manipulating her husband, and I often wondered about that. Thought they were paranoid!
But I myself have shied away from ladies fellowships, homeschool mom groups, because I can't take the subtle (or not so subtle) scorn they have of differing ideas. I'm a non-conformist!
So I couldn't imagine why a wife would want/need to manipulate her man -unless she has zero confidence in his ideas, or, she doesn't think he respects hers.
Also, I didn't like the notion that a woman is manipulating if her husband listens to her reasoning and changes his mind about something. Is that necessarily manipulating? I put that under the regular practice of submitting to one another!

An interesting thread.
http://www.fundamentalforums.com/the-ladies-room/66975-matriarchy-sometimes-behind-patriarchy.html

And here is the original article.

The Balanced Patriarch
http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/articles/general-view/archive/2009/february/06/the-balanced-patriarch/

Patriarchal Dysfunctional Families - Part 2
http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/articles/child-training/teens/article-display/archive////patriarchal-dysfunctional-families-part-2/?tx_ttnews%5BbackPID%5D=4&cHash=14d0166d68

In Christ,
Sarah

D
dietolive Nov 4, 2011

Dear Sister,

You wrote:
"Thank you for your kind words, but I hope I was not putting myself up in any way."

Yes, I know you weren't putting yourself up in any way, but I was. And this is as it should be. As you said, you did not choose motherhood and sacrificing for the sake of others because you were following some "movement", but rather, you were following God.

Be encouraged dear Sister. While many may disparage, directly or indirectly, overtly or subtly, the great work that sisters like you accomplish for the Kingdom of God, many others do appreciate it greatly.

Be well ma'am,
Doug

S
sarahsdream Nov 4, 2011

Hi Mama27,

It is hard to believe that people would disparage someone else who is following God, but it is true. Just like they disparaged Jesus. We look foolish to the world. I second what dietolive says. Be encouraged.

Those who do things because of a movement or because of traditions and doctrines of men, have a bigger problem and that is not hearing and following God.

Your story is very inspirational and I am praying for your son.

In Christ,
Sarah

L
Leeza Nov 4, 2011

Please forgive if this was already said, it took me so long to write it, there are many more replies now!
The word “submission” is colored by its context. In our culture, the context is sinful motivation, inappropriate views of value, and inequity. To discuss with clarity what the scriptures are addressing here, we must be vigilant not to mingle the darkness with the light.
Christ, in a sense, elevates the meaning of submission making it something we could hardly recognize in our sinful thinking. In Philippians it says
“But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men:
And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. “
What do we picture here? A beaten, subjected son, or a powerful, holy God, willingly and with purpose submitting Himself to a Father He loves with a pure love, and a Father who loves Him and glorifies Him? He became a servant for our sakes. What a privilege to follow His pattern as a wife.
Jesus, though “in him dwelled all the fullness of the Godhead bodily” submitted Himself to the Father.
This was not a case in inequity. This was His choice.

In the marriage relationship, there can be a dazzling illustration of Christ and His church. Christ, who gave Himself for His bride; He withheld no good thing…
I have often thought, as I have studied the Hebrew weddings and betrothal, the immense glory it is that the church is called the Bride of Christ. What the bridegroom did was a selfless thing. The bride was prepared and honored. Sometimes I think we struggle with the feminum role because we ourselves diminish it. If we see our value, our equality (not with Christ of course, but with all believers), we can peacefully take our place in His plan.

I know this is rambling, but I think I am trying to say, submission is not a dirty word; it is an honor if it is in loving obedience to God. And we picture Christ’s submission to the father, and the Church’s submission to Christ. And He lifts us up.

It is a place of peace and rest to live in submission.

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