Please help this newby

Hello there,
I am new to SI and find it a refreshing online site for many of the great sermons of past by great men and women of GOD.
I replied to mama27 last night but not sure I did it right.
I hate that I'm not to computer savvy but will keep trying.
If mama or anyone else familiar with her please reply to me. I also know this pain Oh too well. My oldest son is also the source of much heartache. I've read and agree with you in prayer for his dear soul. I would very much like prayers for my own also. My oldest is 27. I tell my other 3 children to know how much I love them but like the 99 and 1 parable my heart is fast after this one especially in much prayer. My other 3 have pulled away from there brother because of his blaming attitude. We too are a close family raising our children as best we knew in Christ. This is the first time I've ever blogged if that is what you call it, for one I've never felt there was a safe place out there and etc. Would someone please help me on this new embarkment of relating and being related to via internet.
I've been encouraged by 99o/o of all replies character wise and seem to have stumbled on a site I can finally trust. I've not ventured onto other forums just clicked on the first one and followed this heart-wrenching story of mama that I relate to. This will be my starting place then. God bless all you dear saints in the Lord Jesus Christ. Looking forward to hearing from you. -k-

Dieingtolive,

Just know you are not alone in your grief.

A child's apostasy will lead one to much grief and sorrow. It hurts so badly when you know that should Jesus return now you will never see them again. It can and will drive you crazy - if you visualize the reality of what in in store for these you birthed, loved, kissed and worked for. But know one thing: God loves them much more then you ever will and He will work to bring about repentance in their lives. We have buried a child and we have seen two boys walk away from the LORD. I will tell it it is a WHOLE LOT easier to bury a saint then watch the devil rule the lives of your children. God comforts you when you bury a saint, but there is none when a child walks away from him because He is sad as well.

Jesus tells us that one must forsake family in order to be fit for the kingdom of heaven. This verse has taught me a LOT. Too many parents will surrender conviction in order to accommodate their children's sin, thinking that perhaps they were wrong and will work to discredit the WORD when it has something obvious to say about their sin. Yes, the devil will use your children to get you to fall away. And he has succeeded many times.

God bless you. I understand your pain. But be assured God sees and wants you depend on Him regardless of what happens.

God bless...

ginnyrose

Thank you so much for responding and sharing!

Wow what an incredable journey this life.

I so agree although it took quite some time to get to the place where I could indeed forsake my family for Christ. Only this year did that finally come. Another hard time of trials and tribulation turned to peace within.

One incredable day many years ago now, the precious Lord answered a specific question with "It's not a matter of if but when." I never in my life felt so close to the Lord during those incredable years of trials and tribulations.
The enemy wasn't content to strike my heart through a sons rebellion but chose to attack through every aspect of support imagineable. It just so happens I believe I was actually being protected by being able to focus most my energy on the pain dearest to my heart, my child. It changed my whole perspective on agape love, for it gave me experience, and through that I wasn't able to obtain a bitter heart. And then only to realize later that was preperation for an even greater attack.

It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it all over again.

In those days John 14-17 became so wonderful to me. In those days I could say there was nothing between my soul and the Saviour. In those days the Faith of a mustard seed was truly mine and I knew and saw mountainss move. In those days Romans 5:3-5 was my blessed daily experience.

In those days...

Yes it's a past tense that I'm earnestly trying to get back to. For I relaxed in my spiritual battle. Decided I guess to go to the back of the battle line for awhile.

When my burdens were the greatest and I accepted them and enquired of them God spoke volumes when He knew I would truly listen. He cleansed me, forgave me and reassued me of things I never even knew. And I was so His.

I know I am surely as ever still His but I quit relying on Him for awhile and have recently in the last few months faced my sin of whoring after another for peace that only He can give. I miss Him. His almost constant presence I once enjoyed. But I'll accept this lonliness for what I must have caused Him and wait for that glorious moment of his sweet acceptance and favour once again.

So in closing if this is what in part it may mean to work out your salvation with fear and trembling then I'm in and It Will Be Worth It all.

Thank-you ginnyrose your sister in christ -k-