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how do you deal with a suicide in the family

M
mjmurdock Dec 21, 2011

my sister is on life support after taking an overdose. I have tried many times to talk to her about Jesus and I don't really know how she believed. I'm praying that the lord speaks to her and brings her back but if he doesn't how does one deal with other family members that don't really believe either.

Q
Questor Dec 21, 2011

Ah, Brother, a sadness indeed, one I deal with daily, for I too have many family members who have no notion of Yeshua.

And suicide...well, a familiar one to me, in the desiring of doing so, for many years in my youth. I thought long and hard, and longingly and angrily day by day.

And with suicide, or attempted suicide we are looking at anger...anger at the world that has hurt us , turned our anger, often just and righteous anger against ourselves out of the belief that we must be the cause of all the wrongness in our lives, rather than understanding the sin nature that is in us.

Yeshua said "Be angry, and sin not." Ephesians 4:25

Suicide and the outworking of anger against the temple of the body is indeed a sin, but my brother, we all sin, every day, and we are forgiven.

There is nothing so grave that one cannot go to Yeshua with, and pray for forgiveness on, whether it is your sin, or another's.

Despite the opinions of many, the attempted death of oneself is not an action of despair, which some consider to be an unforgivable grievance against the Ruach haKodesh, but an outworking of anger and confusion.

YHVH knoweth all things before we do them...do you not think that He will know how to deal with the afflicted?
He, who has loved us so much, will He not take all into consideration?

Remember also, that Yeshua has said that we shall have what we ask for, if we ask in faith.

Matthew 18:18-20
18. Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.
19. Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.
20. For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.


As for those that do not believe...yet...it is hard indeed for us to see them in pain, and anguish and disarray, but again:

Matthew 18:19 Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.

We pray, and we wait, but the end result for us all, although known to YHVH in advance, is yet a choice of each of us. YHVH gives us that freedom, to refuse Him, and we must give the freedom to those around us to reject our Beloved as well.

Even so, remember that prayer availeth much.

James 5:15
19. Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.

Pray, my brother, and then rest in Yeshua.


Q

D
DEADn Dec 21, 2011

mjmurdock

There isn't alot that you can do in this situation. You can beat yourself up about whether she is going to be with Jesus in the end but, really, where will that get you? I think that all you can do is intercede on her behalf that she will come to believe Jesus as her Saviour. A supernatural event could occur in which she sees Jesus in a vision and confesses Him as her Saviour and then passes away. You really never know.

I am not one to quote scripture in every single instance because at times that can be more harm then good and sound more religious than just being real.

These are my thoughts.

M
mama27 Dec 21, 2011

I can't add to what the others have said, but know that I will be praying...

G
ginnyrose Dec 21, 2011

Michael,

I now you are hurting deeply in addition to being grieved. This is a painful position to be in.

May I suggest you relinquish your sister to the care of your heavenly Father who can and does work all things to His honor and glory - whatever that outcome may be.

You know you are limited in communicating with her, but God is not. I have a friend who was prohibited from sharing with a terminally ill brother but she prayed that God would speak to him and He did with salvation resulting from that encounter. I would not be so brash to suggest this would be the outcome for your sister, just want you to know that while we are limited God is not.

While you asked prayer for your sister and the rest of the family, I think you need it just as much as her.


God bless and will pray for you.

ginnyrose

L
Lysa Dec 21, 2011


mgmurdock,

There may not be a lot who agree with me but get into her room while she is life support and sit with her and talk to her, share how Jesus first found you, tell her everything you want her to know about your living God, how much He loves her, how much He would’ve wanted to be a part of her life, what he’s done and doing in your life, and read the Bible to her.

No one can prove that God can’t cause her to hear you and choose Christ in the quietness of her soul. So, go for it! You won’t know until eternity but the word says to (paraphrased), do all that we know to do and stand and see the salvation of the Lord.

God bless you!
Lisa

R
rickyearle Dec 21, 2011

CASTING ALL YOUR CARE UPON HIM; FOR HE CARETH FOR YOU.

1 peter 5:7

M
mama27 Dec 23, 2011

mjmurdock,

How are things with your sister (and yourself)?

Have been praying....

D
DEADn Dec 24, 2011

I agree with what Lysa says. It is what it is, get in her room and speak to her even if she is appears not to be listening.

R
roadsign Dec 24, 2011

Michael, I'm so sorry to read about this tragedy in your family. Whenever a young person attempts suicide, the family endures unspeakable pain and suffering. It is a time of shock and confusion.

My prayer is that God will hold you and your family in his strong arms and carry you through the coming days. May he give you restful nights, and assure you of his presence at every moment along the way.

May God guide the the health care providers to wisely assist and support your family. May He bring healing to your sister - in body, mind, and spirit. And may your family grow together through this trial. And may he bring empathetic supporters your way.


In him,
Diane


O
OnwardUpward Dec 29, 2011

Pour out your heart to God.
Pray for her (and for yourself too).
Talk to her.
Sing to her. (may be songs like "If you from sin are longing to be free, look to the Lamb of God.")
And love her. Ah, that hurts. Again, pour out your heart to God.

..Thy mercy O Lord endureth forever; forsake not the works of Thine own hands. Ps 138:8

Praying for you brother.

M
mjmurdock Jan 1, 2012

Thank you all for your prayers and kind hearts which truly represents the love of Christ. I'm sorry to say that she didn't make it after they took her off life support. I feel bad because the last time we actually spoke she mentioned that she had been doing some reading on religion or religions I guess, not sure but at the time it was a little encouraging. I didn't want to come off as being preachy or judgmental because she once told me that all I talk about is God. So when she mentioned that her friend and her were talking and thinking that this life is just one trial and that God gives us more lives until we get it right I didn't interject that it is appointed to us once to die, partly because I knew that she knew that was what I believe anyway. I also didn't say anything at that time cause I was just glad she was beginning to talk along those lines, that's when she had a call waiting from her husband and that was the last time we spoke. So now I feel bad and wonder if I could have done any differently. And now I have to go sometime this month to the funeral and I wonder what to say to others in the family when they ask.

M
mama27 Jan 1, 2012

Incomprehensible....any of us could be/could have been in the same situation. I had similar feelings decades ago when a friend died in a car accident at the age of 29.....I had been witnessing to him and didn't want to push too hard...then he died. A godly older woman who was a Bible study leader at the time comforted me by saying that God wouldn't have allowed his life to be taken without giving him every chance to repent....I still think about that to this day...Is it true? I don't know....To some degree I understand what you are feeling, though this was only a friend and not a sister...

Yes - there still remains a witness to be had at the funeral. Sadly, most funerals I have been to, talk about the person as of course "being in a better place"...it is sickening to listen to. May God grant you words, and divine appointments with any who may be ready to hear....and may He somehow comfort your heart as only He can...Praying for you....

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