"...you might be a legalist"

"...you might be a legalist"

The comedian, Jeff Foxworthy, has gained worldwide fame for his "...you might be a redneck" jokes. Here is a take-off on his routine, referring instead to "...you might be a legalist."

If you think the 10 commandments are still authoritative for Christians today...then you might be a legalist.

If you think that abstinence is a virtue...then you might be a legalist.

If you think that what our country needs is better moral values...then you might be a legalist.

If you've ever thought that God's Law should be imposed upon Americans as the law of the land...then you might be a legalist.

If you think the Law represents God...then you might be a legalist.

If you think that God's Law can effect right living...then you might be a legalist.

If you think that socially-imposed conformity to ethical rules is valuable...then you might be a legalist.

If you think that a man can keep God's principles and precepts...then you might be a legalist.

If you think that its only right that everyone gets what he works for...then you might be a legalist.

If you think that there is a right answer and right action for every circumstance (if you could just take the time to figure it out)...then you might be a legalist.

If you think that obedience is doing what the rules indicate...then you might be a legalist.

If you think that what people think about you is important...then you might be a legalist.

If you think that most people just don't measure up...then you might be a legalist.

If you feel frustrated and defeated in that you just don't seem to be able to do it all right and perfect...then you might be a legalist.

If you are burdened by self-condemnation for your failures in life...then you might be a legalist.

If you're afraid that people will get out of hand if there aren't clear-cut rules...then you might be a legalist.

If you believe that the King James Version is the only real Bible...then you might be a legalist.

If you feel guilty for not coming to church services every Sunday...then you might be a legalist.

If you've ever felt guilty for only putting $1 in the offering plate on Sunday...then you might be a legalist.

If you think that tithing is the standard for Christian giving...then you might be a legalist.

If you've ever felt naughty or sinful for playing a game of cards or rolling some dice...then you might be a legalist.

If you've ever felt guilty for driving up in a new car, or buying a new dress, or even a new home...then you might be a legalist.

If you've every worried about what others were going to think about your new hair-do...then you might be a legalist.

If you've every thought that you can tell a person's spirituality by the way they look and how they dress (their swimsuit, leotard, skirt length, etc.)...then you might be a legalist.

If you've ever tried to impose your perspective of modesty on another...then you might be a legalist.

If you men have ever felt condemned for having taken a second look at a beautiful woman (in a short skirt)...then you might be a legalist.

If you think that Christians shouldn't practice birth control...then you might be a legalist.

If you've ever taken off jewelry or wiped off make-up to capitulate to another's religious scruples...then you might be a legalist.

If you've ever hidden your TV in the closet to conceal it from another legalist...then you might be a legalist.

If you've ever judged another by the length or color of their hair, or the number or placement of their earrings or tattoos ...then you might be a legalist.

If you've ever looked down upon another for their living arrangements...then you might be a legalist.

If you've ever thought that divorced people have somehow forfeited their right to spiritual honor and leadership...then you might be a legalist.

If you've thought that the way your kids turn out would be the basis of your evaluation as a Christian parent...then you might be a legalist.

If you've ever felt superior to, or looked down on, or were prejudiced about people of other races, or condemned interracial marriage...then you might be a legalist.

If you've every felt out of place in the video store wondering who might walk in and what they might think...then you might be a legalist.

If you've ever been concerned that someone might see you having a glass of wine (or even a beer) with your dinner...then you might be a legalist.

If you think that people who smoke tobacco are disgusting and sinful...then you might be a legalist.

If you've ever told your kids not to do something because other Christians might see them do it, and it would impinge upon your reputation..then you might be a legalist.

If you've looked down your nose at those in more liberal denominations...then you might be a legalist.

If you've every thought yourself pretty tight and right with God because of your correct doctrine and moral behavior...then you might be a legalist.

If you've ever thought that to associate with those who think different than you is sinful compromizing...then you might be a legalist.

If you've ever thought that those who don't believe in "once saved, always saved" are unorthodox heretics...then you might be a legalist.

If you think that baptism by immersion under water is the only way to be right with God...then you might be a legalist.

If you've ever thought that those who don't believe in a pre-tribulation, premillennial second coming of Jesus are misguided heretics...then you might be a legalist.

If you get all excited about prophetic speculations about the future...then you might be a legalist.

If you think that the visible expression of spiritual gifts is evidence of one's spirituality...then you might be a legalist.

If you have ever thought that God would be more pleased with you if you were willing to go to Africa as a missionary...then you might be a legalist.

If you've ever tried to cover up your flaws, and represent yourself as something you aren't...then you might be a legalist.

If some of these exposes make you uncomfortable, raise your dander a little, or cause you take offense...then you might be a legalist.

If you want to challenge and debate some of these issues...then you might be a legalist...because legalists love to fight and feud.

If some of these have hit you right where it hurts...then you might be a legalist...

BUT aren't we all, to some degree?

Wow,

I feel convicted already. :D

Question though,

Isn't there some biblical support that goes against some of what Foxworthy is saying?

In Christ,

- Michael Liao

I find this list very misleading and potentially dangerous. For example, "If you think that abstinence is a virtue...then you might be a legalist." Is the opposite a virtue? The opposite is extremely dangerous, health threatening, etc.

Methinks this is an unwise post.

ginnyrose

The little bit that I read doesn't sound too biblical.

Pilgrim, I think it would be in your best interest and others' if you would delete this piece! It is jesting and not convenient! It is making fun of sin and therefore the entire thing is contaminated.

I am disappointed you would consider this funny or even edifying. There is nothing wrong with humor but there is everything wrong with jesting.

You sure you did not feel a check in your spirit before you posted it?

THIS IS NOT FUNNY

Here are some hard hitting questions to ask yourself to find out if you are a legalist. Check out #4 & 10!!!

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Take this quiz to see if you qualify as a legalist:

Could you be a legalist?

Answer yes or no to the following questions:

1) God's love for me depends on what I do.

2) Meeting the expectations of others, especially those in my congregation or in positions of authority, are paramount.

3) Moral and ethical questions are usually black and white and only made into fuzzy shades of gray by hand-wringing, bleeding-heart types.

4) I try hard to obey God and it irritates me that others think they can get away with avoiding the same level of dedication.

5) I fall short because I don't have enough faith, or because I haven't prayed enough, or because I just need to be a better person.

6) God is predisposed to be angry with me because I am a sinner. My main goal in life is to try to gain God's favor by doing things that will impress him.

7) My sense of spiritual well-being is linked to a Christian leader or membership in my church rather than a personal relationship with God.

8) I tell my children not to do something in church or around other Christian families that I allow in my home.

9) I believe my church is God's true church and that most other Christians may be sincere, but are sincerely wrong.

10) The exterior choices a person makes in what they wear, hairstyle, piercings, tattoos, etc. is a clear indication of that person's character.

11) I sometimes worry that people might take advantage of grace if it's preached too much —people might think they can do anything they want.

12) After being around Christians for a while I feel drained —weary of putting up a false front.

13) When I happen to miss a service or activity of my church I feel guilty.

14) I will likely get into heaven, even though I'm far from perfect, because I have tried to be a basically good person and God will take that into account.

Quiz by Greg Albrecht http://www.ptm.org/

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I just signed up for an online subscription to the "Plain Truth" magazine!!! It's free.

MichaelLiao wrote:
Question though,

Isn't there some biblical support that goes against some of what Foxworthy is saying?

Foxworthy didn't write it, i believe Greg Albrecht used Foxworthy's style to get his point across... and it seems that it worked.

God bless,
Lisa

I don't think it worked! If you want to be funny you should know the right meaning of the word to start with. This guy does not - in my opinion.

Compare that to this one:

…You might be a Dispensationalist

1. If more than one of your children is named Ryrie, Chafer or Darby…
2. If you get excited when you see a sentence with a parenthesis…
3. If you license plate reads: “IM PR TRB”…
4. If you believe the musical “Seven Brides for Seven Brothers” contains an apocalyptic message…
5. If your bedroom, office and car all have sky-lights…
6. If you have ever stated: “Well, Lindsey said…”
7. If there are more underlined sentences in your copy of “Late Great Planet Earth” than in your Bible…
8. If you own a copy of “Late Great Planet Earth”…
9. If you consider Tommy Ice an authority on anything…
10. If your Pastor gives a sermon exclusively from the New Scofield Bible study notes…
11. If you’ve eve had more than three candidates for the AntiChrist at one time…
12. If you think Saddam Hussein’s name means 666 in more than three languages…
13. If you took Hal Lindsey’s advice twenty years ago not to make any long term plans and are now broke, uneducated and in a dead-end job…
14. If bar-codes make you nervous…
15. If you’ve only been a Christian for one year and your Pastor has preached through the book of Revelation more than two times…
16. If you make sure there’s at least one non-Christian pilot on every flight you take…
17. If your church has adopted the 60’s song “Up, Up and Away” as a hymn…
18. If you think the Ryrie Study Bible notes are part of the original autographs…
19. If you’ve already forgotten the last wrongly predicted date of the rapture…
20. If you already know the next predicted date for the rapture…
21. If you’re still suspicious about Gorbachev’s birthMARK…
22. If you believe that Grant Jeffrey, Tommy Ice, Dave Hunt or Hal Lindsey is a theologian…
23. If you know the location of the European Central Bank…
24. If you’ve ruined more than five records trying to find backward messages…
25. If you count trampoline aerobics as “Rapture Practice” in your morning devotions…
26. If you think Texe Marrs’ books belong in the theology section of your local Christian bookstore…
27. If you never stand on your head out of the fear that the rapture will send you the wrong direction…
28. If your baby’s stroller has a break-away sun bonnet…
29. If you always chew gum so your ears won’t pop at the rapture…
30. If you can name more dispensations than commandments…
31. If Clarence Larkin is your favorite artist…
32. If you know who Clarence Larkin is…
33. If your children’s favorite game is Pre-Trib-Hide-and-Seek, “Now you see me, now you don’t”…
34. If you think the four millennial positions are: Pre-Trib, Mid-Trib, Post-Trib and Liberal…
35. If your favorite party game is “Pin the tail on the Beast”…
36. If your favorite CrackerJacks prize is a temporary tattoo of the Mark of the Beast…
37. If you think John Walvoord, CI Scofield and J N Darby are some of the Church Fathers…
38. If your favorite one-volume commentary on the Bible is on “The Bible Code”… (Jon B.)
39. If your favorite multi-volume commentary on this morning’s newspaper is the Bible…(Jane D.

by roadsign

I don't think it worked!

God bless,
Lisa

Interesting list. I would like to see what type of theology the writer of this list believes in.

To me, it seems like the writer may follow the "Love Wins" theology.

Quote: "I think it did! My pastor/mentor from years ago said, "Throw a rock into a pack of dogs and the one that got hit will holler the loudest." Well, a rock was thrown into a pack of legalists and they hollered. Just saying"

I don't think I want a ministry of throwing rocks!! Who do we think we are? Please do not compare the saints to a pack of dogs!

Well I think we have to ask if this thread is edifying to the saints??

I may or may not agree with any of the points put in the list in the first post, but that is not the issue. My spirit is grieved at the offhand way of throwing glib statements out that could offend and stir up strife. Please be clear I am not offended by any of them, but it does not sit right with me as being helpful to anyone.

"Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, leading to edification.....Therefore receive one another just a Christ also received us, to the glory of God."

"For the law is fulfilled in one word, even this 'you shall love your neighbor as yourself'. But beware if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another"

Heydave wrote:
I don't think I want a ministry of throwing rocks!! Who do we think we are? Please do not compare the saints to a pack of dogs!

I am sorry that I offended you.
God bless you,
Lisa

Interesting list. I would like to see what type of theology the writer of this list believes in.

To me, it seems like the writer may follow the "Love Wins" theology.

This sounds suspiciously possible. As I said, he doesn’t have a handle on the meaning of legalism. I’ll tell you what a legalist is:

A LEGALIST IS THE ONE TO THE RIGHT OF YOU. (source unknown)

Hope that clarifies everything,

Diane

Hey roadsign.

Just to clarify, I was speaking about the first list. Your list made me smile. :-)

abstinence is not a joke. neither is birth control.

contraceptive pills kill more babies than do abortions, and the church is completely silent on it. you hear me? contraceptive pills are abortive and KILL babies.

Yes, Salvation is by faith alone. Yes, Salvation is everlasting life. But several of these "jokes" are disgusting.

Abstinence is NOTHING to joke about.

This list is just worldly, and it doesn't seem like whoever wrote it knows much of God or his ways.

AMEN, AMEN to this,

"The danger is not so much from the the false prophets of the prosperity gospel. I see the greater danger coming from modern day Judiazers who advocate law keeping over the gospel of grace.

Any law that denies the finished work of Christ on the cross and not rooted in faith on Jrsus Christ is a false gospel."

I know it is salvation by faith, not salvation from turning from sins, and I know that "he who has begun a good work in me will complete it til the day of Christ Jesus" - it is eternal security for those whom God has saved.