While praying I felt this awful fear you describe that rises. I asked that this would be rejected and flee away.
Also, the dilemma "Should I trust God alone to heal?...or allow medicine and surgeons to heal."
Only you can decide this, but I want to remove this spirit of condemnation from you. God uses doctors...I have had 4 heart procedures...and each and everyone of them, I know God was right in the middle of them.
I had a clear visitation in one of them, from the Lord...when I thought I would die. He comforted me, and I made my peace with Him that it was just fine with me...but He had a longer plan for me. It was wonderful!..and strengthened me greatly in faith.
I probably would not be on Earth if I did not get these procedures done.
This is just a suggestion. Why not head for the medical solution by faith, and if holy healing comes by faith alone before this, you win...and if not, then the medical solution...either way, you win.
This is sort of a fleece I guess...but God will honor your faith.
Lastly; "Let the Peace of God rule in your hearts!" Make your decisions through the PEACE experience...and He will guide your steps. Peace rules and reigns...from the Prince of Peace. It is a real, concrete inward experience.
The opposite of it is being grieved in Spirit. Take no council, nor direction that grieves you, and "Lean not to your own understanding!"
You have been a rock of stability here and a huge blessing to all who have got to know you...a woman of faith. This is a trial of your faith, and I have confidence you will overcome. I mix my faith with yours in prayer...
Please keep us updated......Your brother tom.