i look forward to hearing wisdom on this one too brother, at times it's been a daily cross for me. i've been seeking the Lord to show me the cause of my struggle with unrighteous anger. i'd posted here about two proverbs that seemed to have the answer somewhere (i'd recommend finding the post "ruling your spirit" if you're lead, there were some great words shared by others):
Pro 25:28 He that [hath] no rule over his own spirit [is like] a city [that is] broken down, [and] without walls.
Pro 16:32 [He that is] slow to anger [is] better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.
throughout the day i pondered what it meant to rule over our own spirit, and some scriptures that popped up here and there:
Gal 6:7-8 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.
Jhn 3:30 He must increase, but I [must] decrease.
the Lord showed me that when i was on "the throne", i'd fall into the flesh battle (self = sin...). when self rules, God's not on the throne. for example, when i was on the computer and one of the kids needed something, i felt irritated. or when i was trying to cook or clean, this would happen again. as simple as it seems now, i couldn't figure out how to overcome the sin of unrighteous anger - mentally. then, the Lord also showed me that although i was doing works, they were of the flesh - the cooking, cleaning, teaching, etc. so i lacked joy in doing them much of the time.
i prayed the Lord would give me a servant's heart, one not so self-centered. it seems that when i take the focus off myself, that's where the fruit of the Spirit is. it's not about me, it's about HIM. when martha was made well, she immediately got up and served. i said, "God, give me that heart!". can you imagine a time when you were bedridden and sick, then wanting to serve others in the midst of it all? i honestly can't. when i'm not well, i feel sorry for myself and expect the world to revolve around my selfish self. flesh rotten flesh...
something else another brethren posted was this sermon. it really spoke to me about how our self-centered/selfishness effects our walk w/the Lord:
http://www.ellerslie.com/Eric_Ludy_Sermons/Entries/2012/1/1_Spiritualized_Selfishness.html
bless you brother!! wendy
[edit]
also found this article relevant and helpful by brother zac:
"Your Decisions Determine What You Become"
http://www.cfcindia.com/web/mainpages/articles.php?display=article11