The Story of "the Good Homosexual"

The following story represents real possibilities in our circles today:

One day Becky a troubled 16-year-old teen began making plans to end her life. For her, it hurt too much to live any longer. Her despair had become overwhelming. Oh, she had been a good student and even president of the Students Council. But she had been plagued with depression for some time. She never talked about it with anyone, but hid it under an impressive façade.

Her parents weren’t particularly approachable, she felt. She had always felt distanced from them. Her dad was a busy pastor of a thriving church. Becky just assumed he would freak out if she told him. He would remind her that suicide is a sin and she should be thankful for her good Christian background. Becky’s mom herself had suffered depression, but she kept it at bay by busying herself with running the food bank. On Sundays Becky sang in the worship team. The worship leader did notice a dulling in her countenance, but assumed that livelier praise songs would help her. So he made certain to include some.

At school Ms Jens, her history teacher had been noticing changes in her for the last while. That day she approached Becky privately after class and commented about her observations – the sad expression, withdrawal from others, and a loss of interest in her studies. Ms Jens was a lesbian feminist with a particular interest in women’s concerns. She invited Becky to come talk with her anytime she wanted. That’s when Becky blurted her suicide plans. Ms Jens listened carefully and then asked a few questions to discern how serious Becky was. Ms Jens expressed her intent to arrange for Becky to see a youth counselor right away; and then she drove her to the mental health center. Ms Jens made sure Becky was provided for and the parents were notified. As she was leaving, Ms Jens said to Becky, “Anytime you want to chat, please feel welcome. Here is my phone number.”

You know where this story is going, don’t you? It leads to a provocative question, not unlike the question Jesus asked a religious expert: Who was a neighbor to Becky?

How would you answer that question?

Diane

The title threw me off. I thought it was going to be some sort of dig at in quote "good homosexuals." Consequently, I kept waiting for the teacher to do something bad to the child. By the time Jesus's question came around, I didn't feel the answer I had been led to was "the good homosexual" was a neighbor to Becky.

Side note, Becky's parents seemed a bit plastic. For the sake of the parable, I suppose it was necessary, but the mother's reaction in particular seemed too far-fetched.

Dianne I understand somewhat of what you are saying of how the Jews felt concerning the Samaritans but I would have a hard time using an illustration of this sort because of how God feels about the sin of homosexuality.

Also because of how many of the leaders in society today are classifying homosexuality with racism and the treating of women. It is not a sin to be of another race or to be a woman but it is a sin to be a practicing homosexual. Many in society today are listing these three in the same category saying we can’t discriminate against their lifestyles even saying that we hate homosexual people by saying homosexuality is a sin but that is far from the truth. True Christians love them and want to see them free from sin but it is not wrong to be a woman if that is how God created you. It is not wrong to be of any particular race if that is how you were born. Just some thoughts…rbanks

Diane,
Many people do good deeds....there are BUNCHES of men IN the church-system today who are at the coal-face of the work, but in private have addictions to pornography and other sexual vices that they hide from society....including some pastors. This is sin.....however it looks. Jesus said to the woman caught in adultery, "Go and SIN no more." He didn't say "Go and do good deeds." The issue is SIN.
IF Becky is really taken in by the kindness of this person, don't you think her relationship with this person could well develop into Becky becoming caught up in the very same sin? Satan will use ANY candy he can, like a fisherman experimenting with different baits to catch his fish.... Is a prostitute any less a sinner because she has a kind heart? Is a thief less of a thief because he loves his wife and takes her flowers?
What counts is our relationship with God. IF we love God, and love our neighbor, our desire will be to ALWAYS do what pleases Him, and glorifies Him, and to bless our neighbor - and never cause them harm. We can bless our neighbor by being kind as this person was, but at the same time HARMING others by involving them in a sexual perversion that God hates and will bring about their destruction.
I feel sad that this girl has parents who have issues in THEIR lives that are being white-washed. A pastor who does not have time to be the father his children need is hiding himself from the needs of his own flesh (See Isaiah 58:6-14) Her mother hides from her own problems by covering them instead of bringing them to the light and dealing with them (Phil.4:6-7) A mature Christian who trusts in the LORD with ALL of their heart, and lives continually in His presence has a problem that they are not allowing God to help them with if they suffer from "depression". There is no room in Jesus for depression. The JOY of the LORD is our strength.
Mental health?....and they will prescribe mind-altering drugs? Becky needs Jesus. She needs a REVELATION of Jesus!....then all her depression and cares will fade away!
Turn your eyes upon Jesus;
Look full in His wonderful face!
And the things of this world will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace.

He IS the answer! He said, "Whom the Son of God sets free is free indeed." We ALL need a revelation of Jesus! Personally. We ALL need to see Him in ALL of His glory, die to self and our self-centered introversion, live for Jesus and the needs of others. This is the prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi......

"Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt,faith;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is despair, hope,
and where there is sadness, joy.

Divine Master, grant that I may not so
much seek to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life."

If our cup is full of self, there is no room for Jesus.
If our cup is full of Jesus, there is no room for self.

No doubt the title here sounds suspiciously like the subtitle in your bible: “the Parable of the Good Samaritan” in Luke 10. But remember, that subtitle is not inspired text. The word “Samaritan” has now become synonymous with “good” - charitableness – as in “Samaritan’s Purse”. Someone (I forget who) noted that this arrangement dampens our sense of the immediate impact that label “Samaritan” had on Jesus’ listener when he used it. This is a point we can’t overlook. To the Jews in Jesus day, Samaritans represented the vilest sinners around, and Jesus’ listeners would never have considered them a reasonable illustration for anything good. It may be worth noting that Scripture does not refrain from using sinners to convict worse sinners – including the people of God who viewed themselves as quite righteous.

My title is indeed misleading - as perhaps is the parable’s title in our bibles. Jesus’ parable was not intended to be a commentary on Samaritans’ righteousness – but a means of helping Jesus’ immediate listener see something he had not seen before about himself.

A question we might ask: How well do God’s people today notice those suffering “in the ditch”, even among their own - such as the teen example I used. Not very well! Becky’s story is representational of a real epidemic today. And today, it is indeed the people of the world who are providing treatment for them - including for those among “our own”. And for that we can be grateful. Yet, is this not also painful? Imagine the Jew listening to Jesus talk about a fallen victim among his own people receiving care by an outsider – a sinner - when the best of his own people failed to rise to the challenge.

When Jesus asked the lawyer ‘Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell…” the law expert couldn’t even use the “S” word. Rather than respond, “the Samaritan”, he said, “The one who had mercy on him.” I too could have avoided the “H” word - but let’s admit, there are those even in this population who stop for a fallen victim, and who love their “neighbor”.

Diane

No doubt the title here sounds suspiciously like the subtitle in your bible: “the Parable of the Good Samaritan” in Luke 10. But remember, that subtitle is not inspired text. The word “Samaritan” has now become synonymous with “good” - charitableness – as in “Samaritan’s Purse”. Someone (I forget who) noted that this arrangement dampens our sense of the immediate impact that label “Samaritan” had on Jesus’ listener when he used it. This is a point we can’t overlook. To the Jews in Jesus day, Samaritans represented the vilest sinners around, and Jesus’ listeners would never have considered them a reasonable illustration for anything good. It may be worth noting that Scripture does not refrain from using sinners to convict worse sinners – including the people of God who viewed themselves as quite righteous.

Brother I already told you that it is hurting to extend the parable of Jesus. Jesus did not intend to use this parable on a open sinner and it is fact. If so he would have used tax collectors or prostitutes as example in his parable who were considered worst sinners in those time. One cannot be considered sinner because he was born in Samaria nor he practiced the worship of Samaritans. And Samaritans did not worship anything wrong which I have already showed based on the answer of Jesus in John 6. Jesus will never advertise a sinful life style.

If you cannot understand what I am saying then at least treat me as a brother with weak faith and stop using this parable. This is what I would have done if any believer said that he is hurt by my post (Hurt and not Godly Sorrow). Usage of a teaching of Jesus to show something that Jesus did not intended is wrong according to this weak brother. And my faith is getting disturbed because I see this as a blasphemy against the name of Jesus.

I don’t find the story with ANY similarity or parallel to the parable of the Good Samaritan. In this story, the girl’s need was not obvious at all to her Christian friends and family. She kept it well hidden. If her friends and family had the slightest clue, they would have rushed to her rescue. In the parable of the Good Samaritan, the robbed man’s need was VERY obvious. The priest and Levite simply chose to ignore it just like many busy religious Christians ignore the billions who are dying without having ever heard the gospel while pouring time and money into fleeting vanities of earth.

Another glaring difference is that homosexuals are a group of a particular type of sin … not an ethnic group. A person cannot remain a homosexual and become good. A person could be a Samaritan with all kinds of evil in his family history, but could get converted and be made good by Christ’s righteousness manifesting itself in him.

I believe that a more appropriate modern similarity would be something like: “The good Gypsy”. Gypsies are ethnic groups who supposedly have generations of theft, deceit and evil but with such a reputation, if one were to do a kind deed for a suffering person, it would (according to the reputation) be astounding.

To me, this little story, and the suggestion of such a subtitle attempts to make acceptable a particular brand of sin (homosexuality) which is not an ethnic group (nor a genetic group, by the way), but a group of people united by that particular kind of sin who need deliverance just like any other sinner does.

How about some other suggestions: “The good alcoholic” … “the good drug addict” … “The good child molester” … “the good rapist” … “the good hired assassin” (Mexico is full of them ... it is a way of life for them) … “the good thief and robber” … or just invent a story where the thieves and robbers feel bad about what they did and return to help the poor fellow that they just robbed.
“Samaritan” is on the same level as “Jew” … it is an ethnic group.

“Homosexual” is on the same level as “thief and robber” it is a type of sin which can’t be made better by any good deed.

It's intriguing how readers draw different aspects from the same story. I include a response by a middle-aged Christian woman who focuses on the plight of the pastor’s wife:
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"We seem to have pat answers and really don't go down into each other's pain.... to really listen to each other. Instead we give quick fixes. And again, it's the "sinner" who has come to the rescue!!

"The pastor's wife I can relate to!! When we have our own issues, it's hard to help someone else, isn't it. She really hasn't dealt with her depression. We get busy instead of dealing with issues.....either because we don't want to, or the church is not equipped to help. Maybe it is a sense of shame on the part of the pastor's wife. Or she just hasn't opened herself up to the Lord for healing. Or maybe she thinks he can't help!!"
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roadsign,

This subject is very objectionable. I agree with Sree and Jesus-is-God.

It is very dangerous to play the game you are playing. You are toying with God's word and I find that just plain ugly.

white stone

I'm sure Diane is not promoting/condoning homosexuality any more than Jesus was promoting the religion of the Samaritans. The point of her story and Jesus' parable are the same: compassion.

The impact and controversy of a Samaritan are lost on us. Jews had a saying in that day that they thanked God that they were not born a dog or a Samaritan...etc.

Jesus also warned of straining a nat and swallowing a camel.

Brothers in light of Christ's words that we* will be held accountable for EVERYTHING that proceeds out of our* mouths please be merciful and if you can't agree at least try to understand what someone is trying to say.

*Edit

I find that just plain ugly

I appreciate how all of you see this ugliness of sinful life choices. For those who don’t, this story would convey the wrong message. Even still, it is only useful if it spurs us toward maturity. After all, Jesus told the lawyer: “Go and do likewise.” Likewise, it is our duty to come beside those fallen, those who have been robbed (emotionally, spiritually, etc) and those who have been left uncovered in their sin. And these people are all around us. There are so many. They may be we ourselves. If we can’t see it, it might be, as Carter Conlon says, that we have become dulled. It is possible that our attention to theological matters has dulled us to real human experience.

For most of us here homosexuality would measure high on the seriousness- of-sin scale. But wherever you put that notch on your scale, you would need to mark a higher notch for another sin: that is the failure of God’s people to love others as he calls us. If that sin doesn’t register high on our scale then we need an awakening, don’t we? Otherwise we will wound each other and not even know it. And frankly, that is happening. I include myself in this. I need to grow in love.

Regarding the story, personally, I find myself most burdened for the pastor. Maybe that’s not very virtuous of me, but that’s the way it is. Maybe it’s because I am a parent too, and a dedicated Christian. (Remember, this story represents countless real situations.) I imagine this pastor receiving that phone call about his daughter. What thoughts must go through his mind? What shock. What shame. What’s he going to tell his church? Or would he want to keep it hushed? How is he going to handle the guilt? Of course he contributed to the tragedy through his own neglect. But he is also a victim of a world that is so trapped in sin – a world, and even a church that cannot love its own. It’s not all his fault; or his wife’s. It’s not even an issue of blame. It’s really about turning to the Lord for mercy– and then becoming “wounded healers” for others.

My main concern with posting this story was for those who may come here, who are presently enduring intense grief related to suicide or attempted suicide of a family member. The thought of possibly aggravating the pain troubles me. I trust that they would receive mercy.

While the homosexual in the story may have been disturbing, I hope that we will together be far more burdened over our own shortcomings, and also the very real tragedy of the emotional suffering cause by sin's trap in our fallen society. May God empower us to grasp and know his love – that we may give that cup of water to the one in our path who is thirsty.

Diane

Her parents weren’t particularly approachable, she felt. She had always felt distanced from them. Her dad was a busy pastor of a thriving church.

This is a problem right here. What good is it if you save the world but lose your family? What kind of testimony is it if your church is "thriving" but your daughter is not? The church was evidently "thriving" because the Pastor was "busy" putting all of his energies and time into her.

Becky just assumed he would freak out if she told him. He would remind her that suicide is a sin and she should be thankful for her good Christian background.

Yeah, that would not be a good testimony if the Pastor's child was contemplating suicide. Is that why he would freak out? Because it would reflect on him? That is very selfish and self-centered.

I don't know if this story is true or not, but regardless, this shows absolutely no understanding of the spirtual realm, not to mention his daughter. And it is very prideful and smug (be thankful for her good Christian background). What is good about it? This father's attitude is a big part of why Becky has problems and yet he does not see it. As if being a Pastor's daughter means that you automatically are supposed to have a wonderful life.

Becky’s mom herself had suffered depression, but she kept it at bay by busying herself with running the food bank.

Well here we go. Things are coming a bit clearer now. The mother herself has depression. So both the mother and daughter are fighting depression. The mother is able to keep it at bay but the depression is close to overcoming the daughter. This is a demonic spirit that is bringing in suicide, now. Someone has abdicated their headship in the home.

On Sundays Becky sang in the worship team. The worship leader did notice a dulling in her countenance, but assumed that livelier praise songs would help her. So he made certain to include some.

Everyone is supposed to always be upbeat because afterall we are Christians!! There seems to be very little understanding and appreciation for the spiritual battle that people find themselves in. Not only does the Pastor have superficial understanding but also his staff. So, why is this church thriving? What is the definition of thriving one would wonder?

At school Ms Jens, her history teacher had been noticing changes in her for the last while. That day she approached Becky privately after class and commented about her observations – the sad expression, withdrawal from others, and a loss of interest in her studies. Ms Jens was a lesbian feminist with a particular interest in women’s concerns. She invited Becky to come talk with her anytime she wanted. That’s when Becky blurted her suicide plans.

It is sad that she could not talk to her parents, but this is often the case when parents project performance based relationship. But the poor mother has her own deep issues and who knows if she has not contemplated suicide, too.

Ms Jens listened carefully and then asked a few questions to discern how serious Becky was.

This lady listened! Then got a clue and began to probe a bit deeper to see "how serious Becky" is.

Ms Jens expressed her intent to arrange for Becky to see a youth counselor right away; and then she drove her to the mental health center. Ms Jens made sure Becky was provided for and the parents were notified. As she was leaving, Ms Jens said to Becky, “Anytime you want to chat, please feel welcome. Here is my phone number.”

Does anyone expect Ms Jens to share the Gospel with Becky? Of course not! Ms Jens did what she knew to do. At least Becky might live now and not commit suicide. The parents will find out and maybe the Pastor/Father will have a "come to Jesus" moment, get delivered from whatever idols are keeping him away from his wife and daughter and then real restoration will come to that family. Something drastic needs to happen!

You know where this story is going, don’t you? It leads to a provocative question, not unlike the question Jesus asked a religious expert: Who was a neighbor to Becky?

How would you answer that question?

I don't have a problem with this scenario because it plays out like this many times, every day.

Obviously, the only neighbor to Becky is the one that showed interest and concern to her. She spilled her guts to Ms Jens and when you think about it, she opened herself up to Ms Jens the very first time that Ms Jens showed interest. So, what would Becky have done if her parents showed interest and concern? If they were more approachable and less intimidating. Yes, less intimidating because Becky was afraid to confide in them. There are many ways you can intimidate your children.

Many of us know that this type of story is especially indicative of sons and daughters of professional clergy and parents that project performance oriented relationship. There are many books and testimonies about this particular subject on the market.

What does that tell us as a Church? Can we look at ourselves in the mirror and face ourselves or is everything "wonderful".

Thanks for bringing this to the forefront, Diane.

Pilgrim

"Angels of Light" is a term given to those whose objective is to deceive.

Ms Jens objective was to save Becky from herself.

God is not bound by our dogmas and will utilize a Rahab or a Ms Jens and possibly even you or I, if we have mercy and compassion.

Pilgrim