Posted in other thread, but felt led to share seperate so God can get glory:
My Testimony of God's Amazing Grace - Jeff Marshall
I was born to a broken-hearted alcoholic rebel father in his 40's. He was other worldly intelligent and handsome, but his life was a tragedy cause he didn't have Christ. He married a beautiful young hippy-chick (she was like 18, he was like 45?). When the aorta valve to his heart exploded the morning after his birthday (& an all night drinking binge), she was left to deal with it all. On drugs, lost, young, & lost. She too was extremely bright, but wasted her youth on Hippi concerts, Acid trips, and hit hiking across the US. She was so naturally intelligent that she later went into the military, and wrote some secret code the CIA/Secret Service use today, if I understand it right.
So, she was too busy doing drugs and partying to take care of me, a baby. She left me with baby-sitters and didn't come back for days. Actually, not at all. My aunt came and got me and took care of me. I was adopted at age 2 or 3. At 3, at Casa View Baptist Church Mothers Day Out, a lady led those of us interested (me) in a prayer time to call upon the Lord. I totally forgot till I was born again at 23 of the experience, but I saw Christ on a throne point at me and say "you are mine". At 5-6 I found my brothers' porn mag collection and was totally confused, attacked, and oppressed through much of my childhood. I listened to their satanic ally themed music of the 70's and early 80's. I dealt with lots of abandonment issues a child because my real mother didn't want me.
As a child, I naturally had a high academic aptitude and did extremely well at all things scholastic pretty much without trying. I nearly aced achievement tests in minutes as a show of my own intellectual pride before most were off the first page or two. I believed in God, I wanted to be good, but I just always found myself drawn to things evil - sexual lust, rock music (became a very talented drummer), alcohol & drugs, etc.
I knew I was smarter than most of my teachers, so I played games with their tests and assignments & would openly debate them if they were wrong to make them look foolish in front of the class. I had a major problem with authority. My adopted dad had a MAJOR problem with anger so I was whipped pretty bad, but never hugged, told I was loved, or explained about Gods purpose in discipline afterwards (he didn't know God, how could he teach me). I was so hard to deal with at times, my mom took me to the #1 Christian Psychologist in the country (wrote books with Moody Group is what I was told). He tested me and counseled me repeatedly and told my mom my intellect was better than 99% of the general population, but my motor skills were average. That difference caused behavioral issues, he said (Christian/worldly quasi-phsychology missed the real issue). This just made me more proud of my "super-intellect". People always told me how smart I was, & unfortunately, I drank the Kool-Aid & suffered for it in my foolishness!!).
I drank alcohol by the gallon, had sex, & fought anyone who wanted to fight from 14-18. Then, in college, I wanted to "chill out" & grow-up, so I stopped drinking so much. Then I tried ecstasy!!! All that mattered from then on was getting as high as possible all the time. When"EX" wasn't available, I started to use cocaine, meth, etc. Then, I discovered Heroin! See, I wasn't the kid on the street corner you thought would end up in tons of trouble. I was a relatively good looking kid, smart, funny who's who among American High School students, Wittiest, Most Masculine, Most Attractive, lettered in 5 sports, etc. how did I end up addicted to heroin?
So, that only goes on so long or you die right-Heroin use! So, I left university, went home, and went through heroin withdraws. Wow-they're really bad. I prayed for God to help me, got out my Bible and read the only chapter I knew - 1 Corinthians 13. I came out alive by God's grace. I had already had a gun stuck to my head and the trigger pulled (God jammed that bullet in the chamber!! I had already been in multiple car crashes that should have killed me. I had already done enough cocaine and heroin in one sitting to kill anyone and lived!!
I was always muscular, so when people starting saying how skinny I looked (175 for me looks skinny as I'm normally around 200+ in shape, working out). So, I hooked up with a buddy who partied, but did steroids and worked out and looked great! So, I headed out down another road. The Lord even warned me in my heart back then. My heart said "I don't do hard drugs anymore, get drunk, beat people up, or any of that stuff anymore. I'm doing good. I just want to keep doing steroids, enjoying pornography, & I'll get an education and do good in life. That's OK right?"
So, the Lord allowed me to go down that road full bore for several years. Before you know it, I was a MONSTER!! As much as 245 lbs, using drugs of all kinds daily (GHB, Meth, Rohyphnols,, Valuim, Nubain, and sometimes cocaine/heroin, etc.). I carried guns, moved shipments of drugs, beat people bloody for $, moved stolen ATV's in volume, etc., etc. I was ruled by demonic forces daily!! I fought and won a "Toughman" contest (SAE Fight nights in Denton, TX) and I hadn't slept in 3 days!! I should have had a heart attack and died. I OD'd and ended up in the hospital on support, monitors, drinking drug absorbing "asphalt" multiple times! If someone looked at me wrong in a bar, I tried to kill them with my bare hands. I beat one guy up do bad I had to go to court and defend attempted murder/aggravated assault charges in a self defense trial.
I was already on probation for many things including possession of LSD. I knew I was being watched by the police but couldn't stop. I was in total bondage. The Lord began reaching into those places (doing drugs with friends!!) & calling out to me!! It was so wild how he Soveriegnly orchestrated it all when I was in THAT PLACE I WAS IN!!
One day, I was about to smoke some meth in my apartment kitchen by myself. I just broke down crying and weeping and said "God, if you're real, I don't want to do this anymore, but I can't stop, please help me!!" I felt the room change!! It was a taste of the peace of God and a ray of hope!! It didn't last, it vanished when I decided I had to smoke that meth want to or not.
About two hours later, 5 Agencies came knocking on my door!! Dallas Sheriffs Dept, North Texas Drug Task Force of DEA, Rockwall detectives authorities, Rowlett Detectives Authorities, & Mesquite PD! That's not all, you see, I used to love showing off my kicks. I had gotten messed up and kicked the door and hinges off a couple weeks before. When they said "Open up, ,,,,,,,," & hit the door with the battering ram, it NORMALLY would have knocked it open, swing on hinges. Since I had stuff piled in front of it, it just pushed the door/pile forward inch by inch. Thank God, see I was so messed up that at that sound, I pointed my Ruger P-90 .45 Caliber with laser sight engaged at the sight window mocking them. Normally, door flies open, police shoot me in the head, coroner arrangements. God had a plan you see for me. I finally realized what happened, threw my gun down and dove on my wife. See we had been together since she was 14, but only married 6 months when this happened, and oh yeah-she never did drugs nor hardly ever took a drink at all!!
So, in the parking lot, cops are ready for a "tough guy" who wants to fight. My reputation is well known in those parts by then. I saw my wife, totally innocent, get cuffed and thrown in a car for my sins. The Lord used that to break me (& understand what he did for me). I wept like a little baby, broken under the weight of my sins. See, after they locked me up (again, I was one of the most popular kids for 3 counties as kid - the jailors and leutunants were all friends of mine growing up) I was coming down off of tons of drugs every day used for years, sleep deprived, etc. & I thought I heard my wife screaming for me that they were raping her (back then, in Rockwall County Jail, men's/women's cells were across hall from one another).
I flipped out and went nuts (I was being demonically oppressed and tormented hearing it all to the sound of Korn songs in my head)! Since they all knew me personally, They let me out to talk to me and calm me down. I got on the phone, called my mother, told her I was in jail, arrested for drugs, & jailors raped my wife!! Imagine getting that call!! They let me see my wife and she told me she loved me but the drugs (& demons, now I know) had made me imagine it all! I went back to my cell and wept like a little baby for 2 days straight (keep in mind, I'm like 225 lbs with like 20 inch biceps).
A man started talking to me about Christ and the Bible. I'm not sure it wasn't an angel God sent to me. I don't know-God knows and I'll find out one day in Heaven. I began reading the Word of God for myself. No preacher. No church service. Just me, God, & His Word. I realized (as I started in the OT) this God was MUCH more serious about sin and unrighteousness than any I knew about (I went to a private Christian school kid in 2,3,4th grade and attended church many times from Baptist, Methodist, Charidmaic, etc - usually where the prettiest girls went) & I knew nothing of this God. Then I read Proverbs. Oh Lord, as smart as I think I am, I know nothing at all but foolishness and vanity!!
I was facing up to 20 years in prison for Organized Crime under the R.I.C.O. Act originally for the Mob. Then, one day, reading scripture, fasting, & praying - I cried out in my solitary cell -"O God, my life isn't worth $.25, but if uou'll take it, I surrender and give it to you for the rest of my life regardless the cost". At that moment, it seemed like my cell lit up, my heart was flooded with peace and joy I had never known, and I was born again from the kingdom of darkness to the Kingdom of God!! Adopted again, this time a son of the Most High God who ransomed His own Som for me, a wretched, pitiful, proud, delusional sinner!!
So much more I could say! I did 21 months in Texas prisons, preached to many there! I had my life threatened in there by the Aryan Brotherhood (cause I'm white, but not prejudice). I graduated with a Bachelors in Biblical Studies & spent years unlearning the mixture I learned there and going back to what the Lord taught me alone in His Word in Prison Cells! I've been blessed to travel to Myanmar with David Servant to serve orphans, had Andrew Strom and his family come and stay in my home as he preached in my area, have wonderful fellowship with the Scott's now ("PreachingJesusChrist.Com"), etc. I'm still married to the same beautiful woman for 14 years now and we have 5 children! I've been blessed with success in sales and management everywhere I've went, though I'm an ex-felon!!
Let me say this and I'm done: I had fallen back asleep spiritually a few years ago, gotten comfortable with worldliness and temporal things, & the Lord woke me up! He revived me (some of if through the preaching of men like Leonard Ravenhill, David Wilkerson, Art Katz and others) & then sent me out to preach it to the "churches", the streets, etc. He spoke to me in prison shortly after salvation He would do this & I just couldn't believe it at the time. "Lord, I'm an ex-criminal, why are "church-folk" and people who been pastoring all their life gonna listen to me to "WAKE UP AMERICA, JUDGEMENT IS AT THE DOOR!"? He showed me because it's His heart, His calling, His Grace, His Power, His Work always - ITS NOT ABOUT US!
A couple years ago now, the Lord had us "sell all we had & get ready for what's coming in the days ahead". Prepare your spiritual houses now folks for eternity is just around the corner for all of us and NOTHING ELSE WILL MATTER AT ALL in light of that! Don't sit on here arguing all day. Turn to the Lord. Seek Him while He may be found. If you are rebuked on here (or anywhere), don't get defensive in your pride and try to outsmart that argument with your witful comeback. Pray. Ask the Lord, "Is this from your throne to me Lord? Is there something I am missing along the way?" search the scriptures, pray in the Holy Ghost, & seek Him with all your heart, mind, soul, & strength! He is worthy and He's coming back to exact revenge on His enemies & take His Bride without spot, wrinkle, or Blemish!! I still have much preparation like Ester before that happens, but no time to waste. How bout you? Redeem the time saints before time disappears