How do you get back to God when you've hardened your own heart?

Please help me saints...anybody. I've never needed to believe Truth more in my life than I do right now.

I feel like my heart has finally hardened. I don't know. I got saved in my mid-twenties, an overnight, radical conversion. For many many years I still struggled with sin but kept believing. But behind closed doors I was getting worse with flirting, pornography then fornication. I was worse now than before I got saved. But for many of those years I have neglected devotions and prayer and the word like I should. But still wanting God and hoping one day I wouldn't be like this anymore.

A month ago I started suffering from Anxiety attacks but still believed God even in the midst of my strongest fears. Just recently I started helping a church with administration very far from home. New faces, new culture, new church, new house, etc. Debt, no family, no real career, no wife and I'm only getting older so anxiety started acting up again.

But now 5 days ago I was in the middle of a powerful sermon and I heard a voice say 'You don't believe it anymore." I got really really scared and it went away. After it went away I just praised Jesus that HE is real and still loves me and has hope for me.

Then the next day in my sleep I really really felt like the presence of God has left me and that I've sinned so much and not took heed to warnings that my heart is hard now and I can't believe anymore. It's been a few days with this feeling and I'm scared to death. Irritable bowel syndrome now. Losing a lot of weight because of this fear that has gripped me that I'm no longer saved or something.

When I pray and fight I feel better but I'm not the same anymore. I'm constantly thinking about it. Am I one of those Christians that have hardened my own heart and now live in misery. I don't think so but it's all I think about. I know there's hope and I know I believe the Truth but what must I do to get back to the peace I once had with Jesus. I still want to be in his will. I still want to be a man of God. I still want to have a right relationship with him but what's happening to me?!? Please tell me what must I do and I will do it. But what if you tell me to just believe and I can't??

"LORD, I BELIEVE BUT PLEASE HELP MY UNBELIEF." (Whatever scriptures you give me I will read and try. But can I just wait for God to help me?)

-Can't Sleep & Scared

Hi! MonteCarlo77

Your experience of desertion and/or hardened heart as you described is not unique to you alone; most Christians will admit to feeling the same at one time 'er another.

Thankfully, our relationship with God is by Faith ... what He says about us and our situation ... and not our feelings.
Of course, feelings can sometimes be very wretched and tormenting; I'm not trying to dismiss the horror that they can be.

You have obviously come under the stare of the accuser.
You have a choice: believe what the faith of the destroyer is saying about you or believe what your heavenly Father's faith is saying about you.

I'm sorry ... but that's the bottom line of it all.

After all, the Bible does say that the just live by the faith OF God ... (not "in" God as many might wrongly presume). "For what if some did not believe? Shall their unbelief make the faith of God without effect?". (Rom 3:3).

I'll be praying for you. God bless!

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by MonteCarlo77 on 2012/6/8 9:31:44
Please help me saints...anybody. I've never needed to believe Truth more in my life than I do right now.
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Brother,

First you need to know what Salavation is :-
Matthew 1- 21:-She will bear a Son; and you shall call His name Jesus, for [w]He will save His people from their sins.

This is the very first promise of New Testament. It does not say that Jesus will take us to heaven but it says he will save us from Sin. It does not say where and when, which means it is now on this earth. No matter who says you are saved or not, it is your life that will tell you. The life that is not just external but internal, inside closed doors as you have said.

We all have sins, but the willfull sin is different from sins in us that we do not know yet. We need to repent and turn away from any sin in us that we know. And then Ask God to give us grace to be free from it.

Please read the parable of Prayer in Luke 18:1. This will tell you how to keep praying in faith that God can save you from your sinful lifestyle. Do not lose your faith.

Regarding the sexual sins that you have shared here, I would like to point out 1 Corinthians 10-13:-
No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.

Hi MonteCarlo~

May I ask, do you still struggle with the old sins that you mentioned on a regular basis?

MonteCrlo777,

My heart reaches out to you. I know personally what it means to struggle with perpetual sin so much that you doubt your salvation.

"Am I one of those Christians that have hardened my own heart and now live in misery. I don't think so..." I can see that one of your problems is probably the lack of acknowledgement not only of the sin in your life but also of your sinfulness. Yes my dear friend, you are 'one of those Christians' as we all are. Sin always brings about death of some sort and hardening of the heart, especially when not dealt with before God.

Like the sinner in Luke 18:9-14, or David in Psalm 51, come to God in repentance, acknowledging your sinfulness, and asking for His mercy. Like Ahab after the wrath of God had been revealed to him, turn to God with humility, fasting (if possible) and prayer. Yes, you will sow in tears - it is painful to confront sin and guilt - but those who sow in tears will reap with gladness.

To answer your question, PRAYER is how you come back to God. Pray and pray very hard. Come to the Lord, he has wounded but He will bind up (Hosea 6:1) He has broken, but He will restore (Psalm 51:8)

On a side note, here are two sermons that may be instrumental in your dealing with the sin you described. You don't have to listen to them, but I would recommend them highly.

1. Bob Jenning's Besetting sin
http://illbehonest.com/Besetting-Sin-Bob-Jennings

2. John Piper's how to deal with the guild of sexual failure.
http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/conference-messages/how-to-deal-with-the-guilt-of-sexual-failure-for-the-glory-of-christ-and-his-global-cause

I'll be praying for you.

Brother I do know. I was a heroin addict for many years while professing belief in Jesus. I did not know if my former conversion was real, I had periods of victory followed by intense failure, doubts, despair, hopelessness and anger at God. Then I gave up. One day I just sat down and said "I'll lose everything God, take my life show me where you want me to go to get free. He led me to a ministry that showed me how Jesus could set me free finally.
I have learned so much about why I struggled, I was saved but I did not understand how deceptive my flesh was and how I could do things in my own strength and wisdom, for my own glory and have a semblance of faith without power. You CAN have victory brother. You can dwell in the secret place of the most high. Press on. Believe in what He has done rather than who you are and what you have done. Believe, believe that He can and will set you free.
I pray that you take action before the enemy wrecks a deeper destruction in your life. If you live after the flesh you will die (Romans 8). Let the truth make you free.

thanks everybody...this is all helping. Especially that people have dealt with this before. But I KNOW I'm a born-again Christian and God is teaching me how to walk by faith and not by sight. He's teaching me how not to go with just feelings and emotions.

Onemyte, I don't struggle with those sins at all anymore. I can honestly say I have the victory but now I have a new issue =) Finding peace I guess.

We all harden our own hearts every single time we sin. So don't be troubled. You've not wandered down a path you cannot wander back from. The only way back is to allow Christ to take a hold of you and your heart. Allow Him to gather you unto Himself as a hen does her chicks.

KingJimmy- I love what you said!

Yes, our hearts can become hardened in a day with the deceitfulness of sin.
Recently I began emerging from a similar hardness of heart.
This time it was the sin of unbelief- lack of trusting God.
It is easy to become so focused on our walk that we lose sight of Christ- and by the way, Christ IS our peace!

I have held fast to Psalms 32. David saw his sins and abhorred them but after confessing and turning from them he did not keep his eyes on his grief for very long. In this Psalm as well as many others, David turns his eyes to the Lord- his help.
"Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear Him,(you have fear of the Lord deep inside or you would not care you are feeling far from Him)
On those who hope in His mercy,
19 To deliver their soul from death,
And to keep them alive in famine."
Psalm 92 is beautiful through and through. He says in it, "I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress;
My God, in Him I will trust.” and
"Because you have made the Lord, who is my refuge,
Even the Most High, your dwelling place,
10 No evil shall befall you,
Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling;
11 For He shall give His angels charge over you,
To keep you in all your ways."

The Refiner is at work in you. He who began a good work in you IS carrying it on to the day of completion!
Rest in the Lord. He's working in you. Trust in Him.
Rest in this hope as you continue this new day to listen for His guiding- and put off conscious sin by His leading and by the strength He gives you each day.
Lean on Him like a helpless child with his Father. Set your mind on what He says about you in Christ.

Keep this hope MonteCarlo, because hope in God never disappoints. Allow Him to be your hiding place in this time of struggle even as David- and we are in a better Covenant than David. We have the blood of Jesus that allows us to come near and approach that throne of grace.

brother rember all the sins you have commited againsts god and others scince the holy spirit started to show you

brother you may need to write them down ,,be apaled at your sins let your self hate them

find a matured brother ,that you feel god is leding you to

and confess you falts and sins to one one another ,and pray for one one another that you may be heald for the efutual fevert prayer of a righteous man avalth much

confess brother all the sin you know of every bit even white lies ,and ask that this righeoues brother prayer for resorartion ,,so that you may begin to believe and grow in repentance

jesus said to peter satan has desired to have you ,and sift you like weat ,but i have prayed that your faith failth not

jesus prayed as a righeous man

and so can a brother who is walking upright ,

with out being doubled minded ,

let not you sins be hidden

and come to god with a broken and contriet spirit

god will look kindly upon you again ,,tremble at his word ,,brother

times of refreshings will come by the presence of the lord

and his spirit will again bare witnes with you spirit

that you are a child of god

and the peace that passes all understanding ,shall be fruit that comes from the lord

but brother dont ask just anyone to pray for you

one must believe in powers of he
for miracals will only show
through the one in the know

learn the power of relesing the spirit
for taming the ego all powers
with in it

once the ego lays down to rest
the spirit arises flaming at bests

find some one that believes the souvern power of god
answers every prayer prayed in faith

dont go to a maby god will ,and maby god wont intersesers

the efectual fevernt prayer of the single minded man avails much ,,,
god will led you to one ,,just ask ,

the spirit will bare witness with there spirit

and he will pray one to another

remeber you are in the body of christ

and jesus will uses his body to perform much of his work

blessings

QUOTE: "If this is any consolation, my heart is hardened too, it has been for a long time now. I've come to live with it because as much as I have repented..."==APPROVED

Approved, this concerns me. It doesnt really make sense, for starters. Am not judging you, please don't take offense. It's just that there is some inconsistency here that i am not sure you are aware of; you say that you have "repented" of a hard heart but yet "I've come to live with it". That right there sounds like a contradiction to me and i am wondering if you have the right notion of what repentance is. I'm certainly no super-saint and i don't know you at all so i can't assess anything beyond that. Only you know how your heart got so hard. Deep down you MUST know.

A hardened heart is a very scary thing. Perhaps the best thing to do is to ask God for brokenness. Albeit that is scary too.

Another possible help is to surround yourself with things that soften your heart and make it more tender. For me that is often little children, dogs, puppies, baby birds, other animals. Sometimes seeing the suffering of others can soften our hearts, such as a walk thru the cancer ward or volunteering in a nursing home, etc. And i must ask you,DO YOU FEEL LOVED? Quite often i have noticed that not feeling loved will harden a heart more than anything. Would the unconditional love of a dog help?

QUOTE: "It's not necessarily a contradiction, the consolation that I was referring to is the fact that God will harden men's hearts for His purpose."==APPROVED

Yes, but it is never His will for the heart of a BELIEVER to be hardened. Pharoah was an UNBELIEVER. Pharoah was NOT a child of God but of satan. I do not believe for a minute that it is God's will that you have a hard heart.

QUOTE: "Quote:
And I must ask you,DO YOU FEEL LOVED? Quite often I have noticed that not feeling loved will harden a heart more than anything.-end original quote begin second quote
************
When I wrote that post, after I hit submit I thought, 'I wonder if there'll be anyone out there that will discern this.' I have experienced many things in my Christian walk, but love is something that eludes me. I have no idea what it is and I have a hard time receiving it. I would like to, I just don't know how to and believe me that is one of my crying prayers. I have been in the hospital wards and even work in a care facility, you do what you can do to care, it's part of the work. I've even volunteered in inner street ministry. I've watch families as they go about their day, I can only imagine what it must be liked to be loved. I sometimes come home to say, "Honey, I'm home", only to hear my long time companion, silence. But I am reminded that there are millions of people that have more greater troubles than I do, so I take comfort in that."==APPROVED

This then, i believe, is the source of your hardened heart, that you do not feel loved. My friend, i only know this because i myself have experienced it, i know what a lack of love does to a person. When one goes thru life not feeling loved it causes anger to brew in the innermost parts of the soul. One is not even aware of it. The anger may eventually come out and be expressed in different ways at people, pets, etc. and one may develop a temper or other manifestations of that deep seated anger and resentment at not being loved without being aware that the REAL issue is NOT FEELING LOVED.

I'm sorry that i cannot at this time address MonteCarlo's post, for some reason i only feel bent to address your's.
The sadness of your post breaks my heart.

Hi Montecarlo 77,
When I was like you, I prayed,"Lord help to realize Your Love. Help me to be gripped Your love." The Lord was faithful to open my eyes and that and only that changed me. It's the knowledge of God and His love that would a change a person.
Isa 42:3 "A bruised reed He will not break And a dimly burning wick He will not extinguish; He will faithfully bring forth justice.
I was encourged by the below article. Could be of help to you.

Devil’s Lies and God’s Heart
The devil always tells lies. Jesus said that the devil is a liar and the father of all lies. We all know that we are in the final seconds of the end of age. The devil knows that. That’s why Peter warned us saying that the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. The devil knew that he has but a short time. So in these final moments he is attacking the minds of the people with all his lies. If you don’t know God personally, you will be easily deceived. In the prophecy of Hosea we understand the heart cry of the Lord. In Hosea 4:6 the Lord said, 6 My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. Brothers and sisters, we all need the knowledge of God. Lack of it will destroy us. Who are destroyed? The Lord said, “My people”- people who are saved, who have accepted Christ but struggling with sin and sinful habits. If you have a desire to live for the Lord wholeheartedly, you are the number one target of the devil. Unless you know your God personally, you will be destroyed. What the Lord said in Hosea’s days is so true of these days too. The devil has unleashed his attacks in these last days. We read about Jesus in Isa 11:2, how He was filled with the Spirit of the Lord. 2 The Spirit of the LORD will rest on Him, The spirit of wisdom and understanding, The spirit of counsel and strength, The spirit of knowledge and the fear of the LORD. Brothers and sisters, Jesus was God. But when He came to earth like you and me, He needed to be filled with the Spirit of knowledge of God. If the Son of God needed that, how much more do we need that? Lack of that knowledge of God will destroy us. It is God’s warning through Hosea. So to withstand the attack of the devil, you need two things: 1. The knowledge of God and 2. Faith – you must believe what the Bible says about Him. Heb 11: 6 says, ” 6 And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is God… as revealed in the scriptures. Only the Holy Spirit can impart that knowledge. Only He can give us the spirit of knowledge of God.
\tPsalmist says in Psalm 7: 11, 11 …and God is angry with the wicked every day. All of you who are saved answer this question to yourself. Did the devil tell you, when you first came to Christ, that God is angry with you and that He will not accept you because you are a rotten sinner? You would not have heard this when you came to Jesus. You whole heartedly believed that God will accept you and forgive you. It happened according to your faith. After accepting Him as your Savior and Lord, you fell into some gross sin. Probably you fell into some sexual sin; or you lost your temper and beaten up your wife; or spoke bad, rude words to your husband; or you have left your first love for the Lord; or you went after worldly pleasures and money; or any sin. You have backslid. Now you feel remorse because of that sin and want to come back. You have a question. Can I go to the Lord asking for forgiveness? He has told me many times and spoken in many meetings that sexual sin is serious; anger is sin; love of money is idolatry. I knew that it is sin even before I committed it. Now can I go to the Lord? Will He accept me? This is the time for which the devil was waiting and he unleashed all the lies of the hell. Since you are not familiar with the promises of God in the Bible, you don’t have faith. You are in doubt as to whether the Lord will accept you or not. Then the devil shoots one lie. “God is a holy God. He has told you many times- in conferences, in the church meetings- that you should not commit such gross sins. In spite of that you committed that sin. This is not acceptable to God. He won’t forgive you. There is no hope for you.” Do you think that he tells all such lies only to you who have sinned? He even tells someone who did not commit sin but suffered in their lives. Job was a righteous man. He suffered a lot in his life. The devil did not leave him. He spoke through one of Job’s friend, Eliphaz. He is to Job like a brother in the Church today. Let’s read from Job 4:12-20.
12 "Now a word was brought to me stealthily, And my ear received a whisper of it.
13 "Amid disquieting thoughts from the visions of the night, When deep sleep falls on men,
14 Dread came upon me, and trembling, And made all my bones shake.
15 "Then a spirit passed by my face; The hair of my flesh bristled up.
16 "It stood still, but I could not discern its appearance; A form was before my eyes; There was silence, then I heard a voice:
17 'Can mankind be just before God? Can a man be pure before his Maker?
18 'He puts no trust even in His servants; And against His angels He charges error.
19 'How much more those who dwell in houses of clay, Whose foundation is in the dust, Who are crushed before the moth!
20 'Between morning and evening they are broken in pieces; Unobserved, they perish forever.
You can see here the tricks and lies of the devil. Eliphaz spoke to Job as if he had a revelation from heaven. A word was brought to me secretly; my ear received a whisper (vs 12). I got this in a vision at late night; a spirit passed by me; I was trembling; my hairs bristled up; It stood in front me and I heard a gentle voice.
What did the gentle voice say?
“Can mankind be just before God? Can a man be pure before his Maker? (vs 12)” The devil is saying,” God is so holy. You are no good. You are so impure and you cannot go to that Holy God. “
“He puts no trust even in His servants; and against His angels He charges error” (vs18). What a lie from the devil! What a misrepresentation of God!
The devil was saying, “God does not trust you, you have disappointed Him. He is so perfect that He finds mistake with His angels and you have done that in plenty. Now He cannot accept you. You will be broken to pieces and will perish forever (vs20).
Eliphaz spoke as if he is speaking for God. But it’s all lies and misrepresentation of God. But the devil did not stop there. He was relentless in his attack. Read Job 15:11-16. Again the same Eliphaz speaks:
11 Are the comforts of God small with you, and a word dealing gently with you?
12 Why does your heart carry you away? And what do your eyes wink at,
13 that you turn your spirit against God, and let such words go out of your mouth?
14 What is man, that he should be clean? And what is he born of a woman that he should be righteous?
15 Behold, He puts no trust in His saints; yea, the heavens are not clean in His sight.
16 How much more hateful and filthy is man, who drinks iniquity like water.
Again the devil is attacking. God has comforted you many times and you have taken it lightly. How many times God has spoken to you gently when you committed sin (vs 11)? But you don’t value it. You are always carried away by sin. You have turned against God and have spoken words you should not have spoken (vs 12,13); who are you? Do you think you can become pure again? I don’t think God will trust you. You know what? God does not trust His holy ones too. Heavens are not pure in His eyes. And you are so detestable and corrupt. You drink iniquity like water. God will not accept you. There is no hope for you. Because you have stretched your hand against God and conducted arrogantly against the Almighty God, distress and anguish will terrify you (vs 25&24). Since you have committed sin knowingly, God is angry with you. You will not escape darkness and His fire only will consume you (vs 30 & 34). Job believed those lies of the devil. He says in Job 19:11
11 He has also kindled His wrath against me, and to Himself He counts me as His enemy.
Also, the devil made him to believe that his wife hates him and that the brothers hate him. Read Job 19:17. "My breath is offensive to my wife, And I am loathsome to my own brothers.
The devil made him to believe everybody in the world hates him.
Exactly that’s what he made you also believe. You feel God is against you: your partner is against you; the brothers and sisters in the Church are against you. You want to get out of these thoughts and want to stand in faith but you could not against the devil’s relentless attacks.
Then comes Elihu and encourages Job.
You must remember one thing. This was happening in the Old Testament period – before the birth of Lord Jesus Christ. Elihu does not know Jesus Christ. But hear his words in Job 33:23.
23 "If there is an angel as mediator for him, One out of a thousand, To remind a man what is right for him,
24 Then let him be gracious to him, and say, 'Deliver him from going down to the pit, I have found a ransom';
Elihu says to Job: Job! If there is an angel as a mediator for you, He will be gracious to you and will say (intercede),” Deliver Job from going to the pit. I have found a ransom”.
Bros and siss, you have a Mediator for you in heaven and He intercedes for you before the Father to deliver you from the pit of sin. He says that He has paid the ransom with His precious blood. He prays that you should be restored (vs 25). When you pray believing and repenting that you have a Mediator for you and that He has paid the ransom for you and that you are accepted in Him, God will accept you and restore you (vs 26). Then you will sing this song (vs 27-30). Read from the Message Bible:
27 you’ll sing God's praises to everyone you meet, testifying, 'I messed up my life-- and let me tell you, it wasn't worth it.
28 But God stepped in and saved me from certain death. I'm alive again! Once more I see the light!'
29 "This is the way God works. Over and over again
30 He pulls our souls back from certain destruction so we'll see the light--and live in the light!
What a God we have! You can testify about such a God and that He works with men over and over again.
Bros and sis, do not believe in the lies of the devil. The One who made the ransom for you said in John 6:37. …and the one who comes to Me I will certainly not cast out.
Do you think the Lord who had commanded you to forgive your brother 490 times a day, will not forgive you if you come to Him in repentance and faith even if you have done that sin 1000 times? He will not certainly cast you out. If there is a feeble cry in your heart, the Lord will set you free. I can say that in my life, He has done often times. He stepped in and delivered me. He did not cast me out when I went to Him in repentance and faith. It’s true that God is angry with the wicked every day. Yes. God is a righteous God. He has to forsake for your sins. But see the heart of God in Hosea: 11:8-9.

8 How can I give you up, O Ephraim? How can I surrender you, O Israel? How can I make you like Admah? How can I treat you like Zeboiim? My heart is turned over within Me, All My compassions are kindled.
9 I will not execute My fierce anger; I will not destroy Ephraim again. For I am God and not man, the Holy One in your midst, And I will not come in wrath.
Do you know to whom God said these words? Not to a holy people but to a bunch of liars and backsliders. Read Hos 11: 12.
12 Ephraim surrounds Me with lies And the house of Israel with deceit; Judah is also unruly against God.
The righteous God has to forsake the Israelites for their sin. But see the battle God is having in His heart. How can I forsake you O Ephraim? The devil has every right to attack you because of your pride and sin. But how can I surrender you? I must punish you like I punished the cities Admah and Zeboiim for their sins. But My heart is turned over within Me. Something is happening inside Me. All My compassions are kindled within Me. I am not going to punish you in My fierce anger. I will not destroy you again. I am God and not Man. I am Holy. I will not come in wrath. If you come to Me in repentance, I will not cast you out. Bros and sis, it is this knowledge of God that will protect you from the lies of the devil. Do you sincerely believe that God will accept you because of His Son, if you go to Him in repentance? Do you limit His mercy? His lovingkindness? Do you know His heart as revealed in Rom 10:21?
21 But as for Israel He says, "ALL THE DAY LONG I HAVE STRETCHED OUT MY HANDS TO A DISOBEDIENT AND OBSTINATE PEOPLE."
Why? To accept you when you come to Him in repentance. This verse does not say that He has stretched His hands for a Holy bunch of people. No. For a disobedient and obstinate people who want to come to Him in repentance. Never forget these wonderful verses. When I was young and even after many years of my conversion, I did not know these truths about God. I saw God as a policeman who is ready to punish when caught. The devil was destroying my life. Then when I came to know the heart of God, I realized how I had believed in the lies of the devil about our God. I thank God for this revelation. I thank God for the godly servants who portrayed the true heart of God. This portrayal of God changed me.
David says in Psalm 36:5-7.
5 Your lovingkindness, O LORD, extends to the heavens, Your faithfulness reaches to the skies.
6 Your righteousness is like the mountains of God; Your judgments are like a great deep. O LORD, You preserve man and beast.
7 How precious is Your lovingkindness, O God! And the children of men take refuge in the shadow of Your wings.
8 They drink their fill of the abundance of Your house; And You give them to drink of the river of Your delights.
9 For with You is the fountain of life; In Your light we see light.
God has extended His lovingkindness to the heights of heaven – for everyone to see. He wants everybody in the world to see that and be attracted by that. And His faithfulness to the heights of skies. Anyone with a repenting heart can come and take refuge in the shadow of His wings. He is not showing His judgments. Today He has buried it in the deep (vs 6). He wants everyone to come to Him not seeing His judgments but His lovingkindness.
Bros and sis, if you are away from Him and if you desire to come back to Him in repentance, He has stretched out His hands to accept you. He will not cast you out. Come and take refuge in the shadow of His wings.
and him that cometh to me, I will in no wise cast out .