Hi shachah,
I think that most of us have felt the discouragement that you mentioned. After all, we are flawed human beings confined to this side of the "glass darkly" and "poor reflection" (I Corinthians 3:12) despite having given ourselves to the Lord. We have all failed, been misunderstood and ignored. In fact, I think that this is a common denominator for all believers -- especially those who desperately endeavor to be closer to God.
Do not feel embarrassed, ashamed or selfish by needing the encouragement of others. Encouragement, according to Hebrews 10:24-25 is a reason that we are supposed to meet together. Sadly, it seems that many go to church and just don't find encouragement from it.
Years ago, there was a PEANUTS comic strip (extremely spiritual, right?) that I think illustrated the need. In the comic strip, there is a terrible storm. Snoopy (the dog) is terribly frightened by the storm. His owner, Charlie Brown, seeks to reassure Snoopy. He tells Snoopy that he will be there with him. He reassures him that the storm will soon pass and the sun will come up in the morning. After further encouragement, Snoopy is encouraged enough to go back to sleep. The last panel shows Charlie Brown laying afraid in his bed during the storm. He asks, "Who reassures the reassurer?"
http://tinyurl.com/reassurethereassurer
I think that this is a fitting -- albeit fictional -- anecdote about believers. We spend our lives trying to minister to others. We share our hearts, our money, our homes and all else that we have after having surrendered it to the Lord. Our hearts hurt for others and we are motivated as seeing this world as "sheep having no Shepherd" and caring first for those in the Body of Christ. Yet, when discouragement comes, it often hits us like a ton of bricks. Many times, we feel that we have no one to go to in order to find the encouragement that we so freely give. We have been there...and it isn't a happy place.
The Word of God encourages us. And, of course, we can learn to be like David who "encouraged himself" in the Lord. However, let me encourage you, brother, by reminding you of a few things from Scripture. In Psalm 1, we are told about the man who delights himself in the law of the Lord (remember: we are under a very simple law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus - Romans 8:1-2). The Word says that he will yield his fruit in season. In other words, we go through periods in our lives that are different than others.
On our journey along this "straight and narrow" (difficult) path (Matthew 7), we don't always have those wonderful "mountaintop" experiences. Sometimes, we go through tough and trying "valley of the shadow of death" times and experiences. This should be expected! In fact, Jesus promised us that we would have tribulations in this life!
At other times, we go through periods of failure. We feel like everything we do fails. We turn to others who often unwittingly reinforce that sentiment. And, of course, we sometimes give in to the arm of our flesh and attempt to serve the Lord in fleshly ways. Such pride and attitude can lead to sin.
You can see this in the lives of many people in God's Word. It seems like some of the most godly and inspiring characters in the Word went through some very difficult and discouraging times. Abraham had an issue with doubt and turned to Hagar and created Ismael in an attempt to "help" God fulfill His promise. Jacob had both daddy and children issues. Moses killed a man and even after having seen the fire and miracles of God, he still chose to strike the rock twice (Numbers 20). We can go through the entire Bible and find godly men who were flawed and often fell to discouragement and sin before finding their way back to God.
I think that David is a wonderful case study in discouragement. He had such a great experience in the things of God. He could play skillfully to the point that demons fled from Saul. He killed a giant and rescued the armies of Israel. He was celebrated among the children of Israel and Judah to the point that they sang songs about how he killed tens of thousands. He had been anointed by Samuel to be the next king of Israel. Yet, by I Samuel 30, he was fleeing for his life from King Saul. His camp had just been raided, the women and children taken and the people were speaking about stoning him.
Despite it all, we learn in I Samuel 30:6 that during this extremely discouraging time, David learned to encourage himself in the Lord. The NIV says that he "found strength" in the Lord. If ever there was a place, THIS is the place to find it! Why? The opinions and thoughts of men are fleeting. We are not equipped to provide the exact encouragement that a discouraged brother or sister might need. Yet, we can always point them to the One who can give strength.
Later on, we learn more about David's highs and lows. He eventually was crowned king. Yet, he fell into sin by committing adultery with Bathsheba, having her husband killed and then covering it up. But even after such sin, David turned back to the Lord (which cannot be said of King Saul). When confronted by his sin, David cried out the words of Psalm 51. He was a "man after God's own heart." His heart came back to the Lord and David was more concerned about straying from the presence of God than anything else in this world.
http://tinyurl.com/createcleanheart
Many years later, a new king ruled in Jerusalem. Hezekiah ruled hundreds of years after David had lived,fallen into terrible sin and repented of it and died. At one point, the city of Jerusalem was surrounded by the Assyrians. Hezekiah cried out to God for mercy and protection.
Do you know what the Lord answered?
The Lord said, "For I will defend this city to save it for mine own sake, AND FOR MY SERVANT DAVID'S SAKE" (Isaiah 37:5).
This was many years after David had fallen into sin, discouragement and disgrace. However, after all of that, David turned back to the Lord for his strength. He was a man "after God's own heart." God still thought so highly of David that he told Hezekiah that he would defend Jerusalem for His own Name's sake and the sake of His servant David. God looked past David's failures, discouragement, sin and hurt and looked at a heart that longed for Him.
When Jesus walked this earth, he wasn't known as the "son of Abraham," "the son of Isaac," "the son of Moses," etc... He was known as "the son of David." That should speak volumes about the heart of God!
We can find our encouragement -- strength -- in the Lord by knowing that He is there for us. His attention is always upon us. He is omnipotent and can direct His full attention upon us at all times...even when we can't "feel" it quite so much.
Let me encourage you, shachah, to keep your eyes upon the Lord. Find your strength in Him through prayer, worship and study of His Word even at times where you feel "out of season." As such, you will yield fruit "in season" and your leaf will not wither (Psalm 1; Jeremiah 17). Even when you don't feel it, He is with you -- even through the "valley of the shadow of death" (Psalm 23). Before you know it, you will find sudden encouragement that will yield yet another "mountaintop" experience that you can remember as you walk through the next valley in your journey through the wilderness of this world.
May the Lord bless you and keep you! May His face shine upon you and give you peace!
*EDIT - I added a link to the anecdotal comic strip that I mentioned and corrected the reference.
