remaining single

I was reading in 1 Corinthians 7:8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.

I was wondering is Paul speaking to both men and women in this verse? I had always assumed he was but then there are many other places in the Bible that speak of how women should marry and care for a family.

I know of two young ladies who very much love the LORD but are not looking to get married and raise a family. I was wondering what others thought about this topic.

God bless
maryjane

This may be a little off the topic, But I will give a bit of personal testimony, I tried for years prayed for years that I would find a suitable wife the older I became the more of a reality single for life was looking to be a reality for me. And The more it was looking like God wanted me to remain single, But remaining single was not a desire at all for me. I finally after years of effort gave up, I gave up and gave that desire to God and descided that if God wanted me to marry, It would have to happen without my help or my effort within less than a month of that break through unsuspectedly from over a thousand miles away I was introdused to whom now is my wife.

Those two young ladies that you know might just have the grace to be single and devote their lives entirely to the Lord's service, being free of the responsibilities that a spouse and a children can bring.

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That is exactly what I was thinking. thanks for sharing.

God Bless
mj

Proudpapa, may i ask how old you were when you finally found a wife??

Personally, i no longer pray for a spouse because i am past a certain age at which i would want one any longer; for me, if i could not have a spouse when i was young and had some pep left then i don't want one now when i am in the advanced stages of decomp. In fact, if God brought me a spouse NOW, i might even feel angry.

IF a young woman decides to remain single would it be Biblical then for her to remain in her fathers house under his authority? I am wondering concerning the instruction for wives to submit to their husbands and children to their parents, I assume once a young woman reaches adulthood she is free to submit only unto the LORD.

Also I wonder if I young woman wants to remain single but she has a more traditional believing father who wants her to marry would she be in sin for choosing not to marry?

(just looking to better understand some of these topics this question is not about any one persons)

God Bless
maryjane

QUOTE:
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would she be in sin for choosing not to marry?

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If it would be sin, the Scriptures would say so, don't you think?

Most parents love to see their children marry and give them grandchildren. This is normal, anything otherwise is not. Just because this is normal does not mean that it is a sin or holiness issue. God made us to want to reproduce or else the world would never have been populated with people. We want to see our children carry on this task.

I think, and my husband would agree, a parent should back off from demanding a child to marry. It is not Biblical to do so.

My understanding...

God bless.

EDIT: our youngest son is 31 YO and is still a bachelor. I wish he would marry a nice lady, but that is his choice.

by ginnyrose on 2012/7/26 3:09:56

QUOTE:
______________________________________________________________

would she be in sin for choosing not to marry?

______________________________________________________________

If it would be sin, the Scriptures would say so, don't you think?

Most parents love to see their children marry and give them grandchildren. This is normal, anything otherwise is not. Just because this is normal does not mean that it is a sin or holiness issue. God made us to want to reproduce or else the world would never have been populated with people. We want to see our children carry on this task.

I think, and my husband would agree, a parent should back off from demanding a child to marry. It is not Biblical to do so.

My understanding...

God bless.

EDIT: our youngest son is 31 YO and is still a bachelor. I wish he would marry a nice lady, but that is his choice.

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You are right I should not have asked if it would be sinful that is such a loaded questions here :)

So what do you think then about a young woman remaining single does she still fall under her fathers covering as head of the household?

I was reading through some teaching on family and how fathers are to be their daughters covering and authority until they are married and then they submit unto their husbands. I was just wondering how this would apply if a young woman chose to remain single. I know of some families where the fathers have the final say in who their daughters marry. If a daughter decides to go against her fathers wishes she is considered to be in sin because she is not submitting to the authority of her father and she is not honoring him. This usually is a case though of the daughter seeking to be in a relationship that the father sees as being unequally yoked and so he does not give his approval for the marriage.

Anyway just thinking about this topic and even thinking about historically how this might have played out in some families :)

God Bless
maryjane

Mary Jane,

This doctrine of a parent being a covering for their children or household came out of the Charismatic movement and perhaps Bill Gothard's seminar on "Basis Youth Conflicts." The reason I said the Charismatic movement is because I used to read their lit "New Wine" that printed articles by Derek Prince, Bob Mumford and et al. They talked a lot about this 'covering'. No other religious periodical shared this philosophy that I know of back then in the 1970s.

In any case, I do not find any scripture that would teach this beyond the head-covering one in 1Cor.11:1-16 and that has to do with headship and the woman praying and prophesying with her head covered because of the angels and the sign of submission to her husband and the LORD Jesus.

Now, to your question: "If a daughter decides to go against her fathers wishes she is considered to be in sin because she is not submitting to the authority of her father and she is not honoring him." Got a scripture to prove this?

On the other hand, is it not wise to take into consideration the advice of parents in choosing a life companion? Parents may see something in this person the child is blinded to that would prove to not be in the child's best interests.

Let us suppose a young man wants to marry a girl with health problems, would this be a wise decision? No. When a fellow is young he thinks he has the ability to conquer the world and a little health problem ain't gonna stop him any! just see! BUT the fellow needs a reality check - he is not THAT powerful.

I have heard of testimonies of couples who made it a matter of prayer to get their parents' approval of their marrying which they eventually got. This proved to be a blessing. I have also heard of couples never earning the approval of a set of parents who did go ahead and marry. The two couples I am thinking of now had mixed results: the one is doing fine and the other ended up divorcing.

Seems to me, Mary Jane, one should approach marriage with a serious mind, seeking the will of the LORD in the matter. If a parent objects, it would do the child well to work to understand this objection - is it because daddy wants a housekeeper or nurse? or is there a spiritual or other natural concern? These are important issues to look at, IMHO.

My thoughts...what do you think?

ginnyrose

ginnyrose wrote:I have heard of testimonies of couples who made it a matter of prayer to get their parents' approval of their marrying which they eventually got. This proved to be a blessing. I have also heard of couples never earning the approval of a set of parents who did go ahead and marry. The two couples I am thinking of now had mixed results: the one is doing fine and the other ended up divorcing.
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Its interesting that you mentioned this because my husband and I were never able to get his parents approval to our marriage. Even after we both gave our lives to the LORD they still do no care for me and sadly they have very little to do with my husband. His dad feels like my husband is in rebellion to him and not honoring him. Our marriage by the grace of God has been very strong since we looked to rely on JESUS only.

The idea of an adult needing to honor their parents no matter what gender they are by submitting to that parents wishes seems to be something that was added in along the way to keep control over adult children?

I agree that one approach to marriage should be based solely on the LORD leading. I know a lovely couple who decided to marry and become missionaries because they felt the two together would be of more use to the LORD. They have no children and both are happy serving the LORD this way together.

Thanks for sharing your insights with me. I am planing to read some history on marriage and young women role in the family as relates to Israel and the early church.

God bless
maryjane

Mary Jane wrote:

"The idea of an adult needing to honor their parents no matter what gender they are by submitting to that parents wishes seems to be something that was added in along the way to keep control over adult children?"

I think you are right.

When I was a child we had an Amish neighbor who had two daughters. He was a farmer and he worked these girls hard. He told them if they stayed and worked the farm, they would be rewarded handsomely upon his death. People in the community, Amish and others alike, took a dim view of this fellow. Do not know what happened because we moved before he died and I fail to ask anyone what happened there.

Right now we are dealing with a similar issue where the mom works to keep tight control of her 23YO [foster] daughter because she has health (and mental) problems. It gets complicated, Mary Jane.

One can argue philosophy about this issue and make a case for it Biblically. But the bottom line is that Jesus does say one may have to forsake loved ones in order to be his disciple but one is still to honor your parents - therein lies the tension.

I am sorry your in-laws did not approve of your marriage. Now you just have to work to prove them wrong. I also know some folks are so hard headed they would never admit to having been wrong...

Seems to me, Mary Jane, this issue is one that defies a clear cut, absolute, "one-size-fits-all" answer.

God bless..

ginnyrose