Sister I find myself somewhat astonished after reading your situation. What I am about to share with you is completely factual and I sincerely pray that the Lord Himself gives your future husband the wisdom to know how to walk.
I came to an AOG in Leicester in 1986. It was Good Friday and as I arrived at the church building for the very first time a group of young believers were preparing for an out reach in the city. One of these was Helen, my now wife. Helen tells me that when she first saw me an inexplicable reaction occurred in her thinking. She thought to herself "I will never marry that man". I myself had no thoughts of any kind as I was actually minded to stay single. A few weeks later I began to have feelings for Helen and asked a sister for advice. This sister thought that I should ask her to the cinema as a first step to exploring my feelings. I should say that I had been told by the pastor when I arrived at the church not to ask any of the sisters out for at least six months. As I wanted to stay single I agreed without any hesitation.
On the day which I was given advice about asking Helen out, another sister informed the pastor of my intentions. He rang Helen and advised her to only spend time with me in the company of at least two or three others. After a further period of time of 2 weeks Helen had not answered me regarding going to the cinema. In the mean time I had become convinced that Helen was going to be my wife. I was not short of conviction and did spend some time in prayer seeking God's will. In the end I found myself asking Helen to marry me to which she immediately agreed. Helen tells me that she also prayed about my invitation to the cinema but took the view that courtship was foolish and so she simply prayed and waited on God.
What is really important about how I came to be married is not the lack of courtship, it has to do with a spiritual matter which at the time I did not understand. Because I disobeyed my pastor by first asking Helen out, and then by asking her to marry me without including him in the process, I put myself out of the church. I also laid myself open to spiritual attack which cost my first born son his health. I cannot stress to you dear sister how important it is to know that the man you have a mind to marry is strong spiritually and is not going to be stumbled by the inevitable consequences which will happen when he decides to act as a natural man, and not as an obedient son. My failure to take account of what my pastor was demanding led to some devilish attacks by other believers, in whisperings and eventually led the pastor to put me aside because of those whisperings. On the day I came back from my honeymoon I came into the church to hear the pastor condemning my marriage and holding it up as a warning to the other young people of the church as an example of disobedience. When I challenged him on the spot asking by what authority he had condemned my marriage, his answer was that he had seen it all before and such marriages had only lasted for two years.
Sister I cant share what I suffered because of the withdrawing of my pastors hand. I believe that he was completely wrong in his understanding and I believe that he acted without knowledge; following a tradition of man and not a reality of God. Despite this I still say that if your intended husband is not spiritually mature enough to stand when the whisperings begin your marriage may well be tested before it has really begun. Helen did not act foolishly when she accepted me as her husband and neither was the pastor personally against me. The simple fact of the matter was that I understood authority in my spirit and knew that the matter of marriage is between a man and a woman and not between a man, woman and a pastor. What I did not understand was that I would become so badly affected by the pastors attitude. It was his lack of love which caused me to weep for several years. Satan took advantage of the wounds and very nearly destroyed my first born son.
If you were my daughter I would advice you to tell him to go to the pastor. It wont prevent him from loving you and it wont change God's will if he knows God's will. But it will keep him in the right place before God especially as he is a street preacher. The attacks of the enemy are real and he ought to be wise in the matter. He may be right about the tradition being legalistic, but is he strong enough to stand. You are just 23 years sister. Is he strong enough to stand?
