Hi stevet83,
In answer to the question, 'why do people go to hell?' I think we need to stop and ask the question Abraham asked of God when He was about to destroy Sodom. Abraham probably believed that there were more righteous people in Sodom and the cities of the plain than their truly were. This, I think, is a common mistake we can all make. We assume that people are not the problem and we look to God as if somehow we need to restrain Him in His actions. But God is more loving than we could ever hope to be independent of Him, so we need to know that His decisions are the consequence of His knowledge and have passed through His benevolent and long-suffering nature. Abraham asked, "Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?" Indeed He will.
I wish to begin by answering briefly the matter of babies and children. Since we know that the scripture teaches that one must be born again (John 3:3) and that if any man have not the Spirit of God he/she is not His (Romans 8:9), etc., many have concluded over the centuries that babies and children are doomed to hell. This is a clear example of how theological constructs can miss the forest for the trees. Jesus said plainly:
At the same time came the disciples unto Jesus, saying, Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven? And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them, And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me. But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.
(Matthew 18:1-6)
And again,
But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God. (Matthew 19:14, Mark 10:14, Luke 18:16)
So we see then the issue is not children making it to heaven, for they are as the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven. The disciples asked the question and Jesus called a child to Him. Any theology that cannot account for this reality has to be scrapped and reworked. Shockingly men make it difficult for a child to get into Heaven, when Jesus spun it around on the adults and made the children (in effect) the standard. I picked up on this as a small child reading the Bible. I noticed how adults were often dismissive and condescending to children (and me), but I found comfort knowing that a truly Christ-like Saint would treat me (the child) as Jesus would have.
To the question directly, we have covered this many times in the past, but the simple answer is that men and women do always resist the Holy Spirit and the light that God provides for them. We learn in Genesis 6 that God will not always 'strive' with man; and as the writer to the Hebrews repeats' "today, while it is called today, if you hear His voice harden not your hearts." The condemnation (as Jesus explains it) is that light has come into the world, but men love darkness rather than light because their deeds are evil. (John 3)
Typically the response to this reality is that some have not heard or some have more light than others. Paul answers this in Romans, "But I say, Have they not heard? Yes verily, their sound went into all the earth, and their words unto the ends of the world." (Romans 10:18) He then goes on to ask, "Did Israel know?" His answer? But to Israel he saith, All day long I have stretched forth my hands unto a disobedient and gainsaying people. (Romans 10:21)
Between these two answers is a great truth. It is not how much light a person has, it is how they respond to the light that they do have. God has whispered and men and women have responded. God has shouted with a thousand megaphones in peoples ears and yet they rebel. Paul said it this way, But Esaias is very bold, and saith, I was found of them that sought me not; I was made manifest unto them that asked not after me. (Romans 10:20b)
I used to believe that faith and light were proportional. I other words, if God would just overwhelm a person with light, then they would believe. I have lived long enough to see that this is NOT the case at all. Imagine that the Chief Priests (Sadducees) saw Lazarus raised from the dead by Jesus. Who would want greater proof than that that He was who He claimed to be? Yet, when they saw the multitudes believing they sought to put Lazarus to death again. (John 12:10) Why? The Sadducees did not believe in the resurrection and would rather destroy the evidence than respond rightly to the light they received and believe on Christ.
Another example from the opposite side is found in the book of Joshua where we have a prostitute that believes on God as a result of hearsay. For we have heard how the LORD dried up the water of the Red sea for you, when ye came out of Egypt; and what ye did unto the two kings of the Amorites, that were on the other side Jordan, Sihon and Og, whom ye utterly destroyed. And as soon as we had heard these things, our hearts did melt, neither did there remain any more courage in any man, because of you: for the LORD your God, he is God in heaven above, and in earth beneath.
(Joshua 2:10-11)
She is mentioned in Hebrews 11 and is in our Lord's family tree according to the flesh.
For those that might be interested I put together a video series that is here on sermonindex.net called "Tophet, the beating of Drums." it is a bit long, but here is part two. Blessings. https://www.sermonindex.net/modules/myvideo/photo.php?lid=3128