One day, people from everywhere came to watch the trial of three inanimate objects: Mr. Fork, Mr. Rod, and Mr. Pistol. As the world looked on, the Judge, Mr. Simple, took in account the accusations against them. They are as follows:
Mr. Simple: Mr. Fork, you have been charged with the responsibility of making humans obese. It has been reported that several times you have intentionally and maliciously stuffed food into the mouths of humans and been the cause of them being over weight. How do you plead?
Mr. Fork: Not guilty.
As the crowd roars, the Judge continues to read the charges against the other two.
Mr. Simple: Mr. Rod, you have been charged with the responsibility of making humans fearful along with being responsible for the abuse you have caused on children everywhere. It is also brought to my attention that you are specifically involved in a case where one child was beaten black and blue and almost to death. How do you plead?
Mr. Rod: Not Guilty your honor.
The crowd is enraged as Mr. Rod makes this preposterous claim of innocence. Then, finally, the crowd goes incredibly silent as Mr. Pistol takes the stand. Everyone in the room can hear nothing but their own breathing as the Judge reveals the accusations.
Mr. Simple: (with a scowling look) Mr. Pistol, you have been responsible for the killing and murdering of millions! You have charges laid against you for conspiracy to rape, robbery, and many other charges, which are too horrendous to name in this courtroom. The list against you is so long, I do not have the time or the patience to tell you the terrible things you have contributed to. The very sight of you makes me feel sick to my stomach, and if it were up to me, there would be no trial for you. How do you plead?
Mr. Pistol: Guilty.
Everyone gasps with surprise as many thought he would pretend to be innocent. Then, Mr. Simple being puzzled at his pleading asked him, “Why do you plead guilty?”
Mr. Pistol: It is true that many people have died because of me. I have discharged much chaos into the world, and have brought fear into the hearts of many. However, the reason why I plead guilty is not for me, but my owners. I have no mind of my own; I do what my owners tell me to do. I was born this way and realize I am indeed dangerous. But, if you were to consider my crimes, you would see that all of them, not some of them, were a reflection of the heart of the person who held me. So if one were to stand trial today, it should be Mr. Human Heart! He is the one responsible for the all the crimes laid against all of us today and should be held responsible for the horrendous evils which you convict me, Mr. Fork, and Mr. Rod of today. To blame us for mankind’s evil are to bring more guilt upon yourselves for not accepting responsibility for your own actions.
At that moment, those in the courtroom erupted with anger and disgust against the accusations Mr. Pistol gave against them all! Many were cussing and yelling and soon were moved to ban all three from civilization forever. And though there were some who pleaded for the usefulness of these three “criminals”, a race that refuses to accept its own guilt very seldom will point the finger at themselves.
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