Ricki,welcome to SI. It breaks my heart as well, but I have to say that it lifts my heart to see, that as a new believer, your eyes have been opened in such a way.You're right everyone, in the church as well as out of it, needs to ask the Lord "search me and know me. see if there be any wicked way in me."Even as a so-called- christian I was as lost as could be until three years ago when I realized that I had not given my whole and complete life over to Him. I was still trying to run my own life (parts of it). The Lord is either Lord of ALL or not Lord at all. :)Stick around and enjoy some sermons and fellowship. You will probably see that you are in good company.In Him, Chanin