sexual abuse in the church

In one question what is the reason why there is so much sexual abuse in the church?

Today I read in the paper of an associate, unpaid, pastor who was arrested for sexual abuse of a young boy. He was arrested after coming back from gambling at the Hard Rock in Tampa. I happened to know the pastor of his church, I actually worked with him for a couple of years but not in a church setting. He is a black man.

What is going on here? It seems as if the powers of darkness have been unleashed to lure those who have not protected their hearts from lust into a frenzy and causes the Power of God to look foolish in the eyes of the world.

How many hearts grow cold from these things?

John

It appears you have answered your own question.

This is war.

The reason there is 'sexual abuse' in the church is because immorality is permissible in the church. The leadership looks the other way - because too many of them are involved in it themselves. Seems to me if a person who is in leadership is involved in immorality it is called abuse; if it is a lay person it is given a less offensive name.

Years ago I interviewed a former leader of the local chapter of the NAACP. We discussed race relations, black churches and the immorality that is rampant in it. He told me then the reason the issue is not confronted is because too many in leadership are involved. Now this was years ago. May I suggest the reason it is now getting more exposure is because there are too many aggressive lawyers out there who see an opportunity to sue and get some money.

It seems absurd to think you can have a church filled with immorality that results in divorce and remarried persons but not have the clergy involved personally in it. Preachers, after all, are made with flesh and blood like the people in the pew.

Scripture says about fornication to not let be named once among you. (Ephesians 5:3.) Now, how many is once? Does a church like this exist anywhere? Dunno, but how many are out there that work to make this their goal?

John, I do not know how many hearts are growing cold because of this but do know there are many who are disgusted, like me but I am only one.

Often times I tend to notice that the louder someone in church authority cries 'Holy' the more they may be hiding something and using that 'worship' loudly to hide it. In the same vain as someone protesting one issues solely and in the end that person is involved in it themselves. i.e. Churches that protest only homosexuality. Is it because some of the leaders in the group may be homosexual and by them protesting it helps them to seemingly combat the issue?

This causes me to think is that those who are seeking purity are the silent ones in the church and are the ones who are not noticed by the masses because the masses are too busy looking at themselves and pleasing themselves according to their lusts. Kind of like the Harlem Shake, too busy engaging in a silly, idiotic dance, rather than focused upon their hearts and what they are in church for. The lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes, and the pride of life.

Now I somewhat understand the weeping for lost souls. Blind souls. Ignorant souls even in the church. So easy to despise them and yet to do such a thing is to despise God.

John

i can't think of no greater way for the enemy 2 turn young hearts away from god than 2 have a pastor, youth pastor, church leader sexually abuse them. can u image what goes on in the mind of a child who goes through such trauma at the hands of sum1 who represents god in their life? and when it gets on the news people see it and fold their arms and say, 'yep, there goes another one!'

even on this forum the focus is always on the church leader, never on the victims. we need 2 pray for the young generation effected by all of this! the enemy is out 2 destoy them.

sum1 said its a war, and they are right.

I think sexual abuse wounds deeper than even emotional abuse because of the nature of it. I often wonder how how those who are caught up in it have allowed themselves to be overtaken by their lusts to do what they did? I don't have statistics but it seems to me that this kind of practice doesn't even happen in the secular community except in the porn industry.

Why does the church, in general, not get irate about this? It is so easy to picket abortion lines and homosexual marches but lets not deal with sexual abuse in the church. Instead, let's pretend it isn't there or just make excuses as to why it happened and in some cases blame the one that was abused. This is what happens in Islamic countries.

Hi. Your thread caught my eye as I was abused and also raped by one of my church deacon's for approx 7 years.
I have a book of my testimony published by CCPAS 'churches child protection advisory service' here in the UK. This book is now helping victims and also used as a teaching aid for church leaderships.

There is a lot of safeguarding training available now in the UK and a 'child and vulnerable adult' safety awareness.
You state in another blog that it doesn't seem to happen in secular society - oh yes it does. The figures too for number of abuse victims is approx 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 7 boys. It is a cancer in society.

The reason churches seem to brush it under the carpet is mainly fear. The fears I encountered from my leadership when I finally spoke out was - how will this affect the church? what will our town/ outside world think about us? our church reputation will be tarred/ members will leave/ the pastor will lose preaching engagements and will have to bear the shame of this happening to his flock, of which he is responsible before God for!

There is also the shock - how could this happen to one of our own - and the act perpertrated by one of our own?
Why didn't we see the signs?
What do we do now as a church?

This is a huge issue and the church has to get it right.

Although we did suffer some loss of membership and the shock wave through the church was huge - thankfully in my case the Deacon was immediately expelled from fellowship and the church leaders supported me in the police investigation in which God did miracles for us. Sure I still had the usual 'how dare I take a brother in the Lord to court' a scripture completely taken out of of context as Paul was talking about civil action not criminal justice! We miraculously had a christian detective, a christian judge also a christian clerk of court who after the sentancing told me she wished other christians would also take a stand for justice and protection of the vulnerable.

When it hit the local press our church was seen in the public eye to be doing the right thing and confronting the issue, as a result not a word was said by the outsider against the church - the opposite happened in which young families started attending as parents said 'we know our kids are safe here - you take safeguarding seriously' every local school opened their doors to our Pastor and youth leaders going in to take assemblies and classes and we also work alongside social services helping with the needy.
We have now outgrown our building and have moved into a school theatre where we are saving to build a new church!
God has done amazing things for us!!

It took me 20 years to speak out about my massive secret, I couldn't carry this secret anymore! I am now a completely different person for the better. The Lord has done an amazing work of restoration in my life and amazingly the key was in forgiveness and handing my abuser to the Lord to deal with - this happened before I even had any intention of disclosing such a secret but God had other plans!

This act of forgiveness was an incredible experience and snapped the chains that bound me. I have now spoken at a couple of conferences and some churches. More importantly my hubby has a 'new' wife. I am no longer shy & timid and beaten down, bound by shame, bitterness, anger etc but am living life, bubbly, chatty and so free!

Abuse and rape is nothing new - it's been there since the dawn of time - you can see that from scripture! It was never spoken of and victims kept silent.
Days are changing now and thank God it is coming to the forefront and there is awareness. Churches need to catch up with society in confronting the issues, recieving the safeguarding training that is available, seek to bring justice and support the hurting. It's not just the victim who hurts but families, close friends, and even the wife and family of the perpertrator. My abuser had a wonderful wife, she was my sunday school teacher and also my daughter's teacher too! you will never wish to meet a more loving and gracious lady who suffered too, she lost a husband, lost her church (but not the friends there)yet she still hugs me whenever we meet and prays for me every day!! and also thanks me for speaking out telling me to never ever apologise for doing so! Such christian love in action!

I believe we are seeing God at work cleansing His church and encouraging his people to bring justice where needed, the church needs to cast fear aside and obey the Lord in seeking justice - God will bring them through.

Without doubt there are multiple reasons that this is happening. However, there is a reason I have seen cause more of this than others.

The ministries within churches are largely run by volunteers with the possible exception of the department head. For example, the church may have a youth minister on salary but the other youth sponsors, helpers, etc. are probably all volunteers. This is even more often the case in childrens and nursery age ministries. Since this is the case most churches and departments are constantly looking for volunteers and those who may have a calling or heart to work in those areas.

The problem is that pedophiles and predators also know this. They walk in, take a couple months to gain the confidence of those in leadership, and then ask to be involved with the nursery, children's, youth, or other area that may have vulnerable people in it. A prime example for adults is if the church offers Divorce Care, or other similar divorce recovery classes.

The church leadership commits a massive failing if true due diligence is not exercised to do thorough and complete background checks on people. I have at times had church attenders get offended and leave the fellowship over the extensive nature of background checks and research done on a particular individual before they would be allowed to work in a department that had physically or emotionally vulnerable people in it.

If we would take absolutely serious the admonition to , "Know those who labor among you", before ever giving access to a group then it would stop a great deal of this horrid abuse that happens.

The bottom line is we have vulnerable sheep within certain areas of most any church. Predatory wolves of the enemy are also fully aware of this. They then often make a play in a church desperate for volunteers and help. It is the RESPONSIBILITY of the church leadership (pastors, deacons, staff, elders, etc.) to insure that those who move and minister in those areas are fully credible, trustworthy, and of upright moral character. This includes not only observation but stringent background and reference checks. Those would be in addition to the legal and law enforcement background checks.

We might not be able to weed out every single person that is a devouring wolf. However, we can make it very difficult for one to slip through the cracks unnoticed! That ultimately safeguards the sheep that the local leadership is responsible for.

The person attending a local fellowship can also play a critical role. The most obvious is to let those in authority know if you have personally seen anything that is concerning about a person in that area. They may not have and the Lord may have let you see it so you can convey that information to them. The second thing is to step into the places of ministry where folks are needed. I believe that often leaders have unknowingly let people gain access to the sheep, who should not have had it, was because the leaders needed help and the folks in that assembly/fellowship were sitting on their behinds instead of serving the Lord and other people. When those called into those ministries step into their place of service the local leaders are less pressured to look for someone who is just willing... but not called...or even pure!

The consistent implementation of those basic rules will do much to stop the terrible type abusive events from ever happening!

Immorality is like a cancer to a church, and if not
cut off it will spread throughout the Body.
If any minister is not teaching repentance
and holiness, then those members should
flee for their lives, lest they become defiled.

Mike

Based on my personal walk with God, it is impossible for someone to fall into such degrading act all of a sudden without any prior warning. God brings such shameful things into public only after giving them enough chances to repent but finally he gives up on them. It is always a slow fade. I am sure there were previous stages to sexual abuse like lustful eyes, Pornography which finally leads to a perverse heart that is an abomination to God (Proverbs 11:20).

Sree, I completely agree with you that people who do this did not all of a sudden commit such an horrendous act with no prior warning. I do disagree, however, that God gives up on people. Romans does tell us that God will give us over to the lusts of our heart, but I do not think that means He has given up on us. God always allows us to reap the rewards of our labors. I just don't like the idea of God giving up on us. Paul, himself, said he was chief among sinners.

We can't forget that Christ died even for the wolves. As this man sits in a jail cell, I pray that the Holy Spirit would do a work in his heart. Maybe getting caught was what needed to happen for this man to realize just how lost he was.

I do disagree, however, that God gives up on people.

By God giving up people, I meant God exposing their sins publicly. I do not believe that God will eternally give up on someone because they are involved in sexual abuse. I believe God will not expose our sins unless he wishes to break us by bringing it public.

Having said that I believe that God will at some stage give up on people and will harden their hearts, but I am not here to tell when it will happen. I cannot turn blind to scriptures that says so.

Please listen to this message by Carter Conlon; again if you’ve already listened to it. It’s called WOLVES but now listen to how a wolf ingratiates itself into a particular person(s) life. This should give you some humbleness about how this can and does take place in the church and in an individual’s life.

Carter Conlon - WOLVES
https://www.sermonindex.net/modules/mydownloads/singlefile.php?lid=2158&commentView=itemComments

Brothers and sisters, evil surrounds us and it rains on the just and on the unjust. You can tell a person they should have done this or they should have done that but doing so just heaps MORE guilt onto the victim.

Reading some of these comments grieve me. Please know that no one is abused on the onset; it is a very subtle. I mean, does a women (normally) up and marry a man that has beaten her from day one? No! If it happens from day one, they are long gone and the enemy knows this. So it’s subtle tearing down of one’s spirit and the questioning of authority in that persons life; but please listen to the sermon in its entirety so we will know the enemy in this area as well.

God bless,
Lisa