Chastened by 12-year-old Jesus

Part One

Luke 2:49 "Why were you searching for me?” [Jesus] asked. "Didn’t you know that I had to be in my Father’s house?”

These two probing questions, spoken by Jesus to his fretful parents, are found in the one-and-only-one account of Jesus’s youth. I admit, for years it seemed to me that Jesus was rather sharp toward his parents. Now I find myself appropriately chastised by Jesus’s words. Let me explain:

After a frantic three-day search, Mary and Joseph find their missing son back in Jerusalem, chatting with the temple teachers. As any worried mother would do, Mary confronts Jesus: "Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you.”

Shouldn’t Jesus feel badly for making his parents suffer anxiety, never mind the exhaustion and the frustration for wasting three days on the road? Shouldn’t he at least apologize? But Jesus assumes no responsibility for their anxiety. He won’t let Mary shift the blame to him. Being anxious instead of trusting God is their problem ”“ not His. Through his question, "Why were you searching for me?” Jesus helps them discover the driving motive behind their decision to search ”“ which, as he would have seen, was their anxiety. Jesus doesn’t provide the answer. He encourages them to think for themselves. It is a wise and gracious way of stirring them on toward deepening faith.

Unlike Jesus, I’ve often reacted to anxious people by feeling overly responsible to fix their woes. I’ve done too much of the thinking for them; I’ve even assumed blame. To me, this felt like the loving thing to do. No wonder Jesus’s response to his mother has seemed insensitive to me.

As we see, Jesus does not pamper anxiety - for a good reason: Anxiety is like a vise grip that inhibits our ability to think and choose well. We assume that our distress is caused by factors outside of ourselves. But really, no person or situation has the power to make us anxious - unless we allow it. I’ve discovered this through hard knocks ”“ and my own frantic "three-day” strategizings. Thankfully no rescuer intercepted those learning experiences by offering quick escapes.

As long as we depend on others to dull our anxieties, we are never fully free to enjoy a vibrant faith. Likewise, as long as we feel responsible to appease other people’s anxiety, we cannot be who we were meant to be. That’s a dead-end mission which deprives everyone of opportunities to grow in trustful faith. This is not the path of love for others, for ourselves, and ultimately for God.

By the age of 12 Jesus had a firm grasp of the great commandment, the royal law of love. What a powerful example for us! We too can respond to fretfulness by shifting the focus from self-absorbed anxiety to careful thoughtfulness. In this way we offer a refreshing "cup of water”. We open the way to restful trust.

Prayer: Lord, train us to be effective managers of anxiety. May we develop the habit of casting all anxiety on You ”“ be that our own anxieties or that of others ”“ so that Your kingdom may grow in and among us and your will may be done on earth.

In Part Two we reflect on Jesus’s second question to his mother: "Didn’t you know that I had to be in my Father’s house?”

DE

Part Two

More than a few parents have felt themselves cowering before the rolling eyes of a self-assured teen who, in a cocky tone, proclaims, "Really, Dad! Don’t you know that…?!” Of course we’d be mistaken if we pictured Jesus treating his mother in such a demeaning way when he asks, "Didn’t you know that I had to be in my Father’s house?” Luke 2:49

Jesus’s aim is to edify, not humiliate his earthly parents. He realizes their distress ”“ having searched frantically for him. With his two short questions he encourages them to move from self-absorbed anxiety to God-centered thinking. His second question, like the first, offers practical insight for us too.

In Jewish tradition, questions are deployed to encourage thoughtfulness. A question put in the negative begs for an affirmative response. Jesus has invited a "yes” response from his parents. Yes. On the surface they do know their son’s destiny. But they have yet to grasp it more fully. "But Mary and Joseph did not understand what he was saying to them.” Luke 2:50

Up till now they have cared for him as his earthly parents; but he is entering adulthood. They must entrust him to God and permit Jesus to embrace his duties to his heavenly Father. Their inability to grasp this reality seems to be at the root of their anxiety and their needless search. But it was not all fruitless! This has been a precious opportunity for them to grow in faith and in understanding of God and his purposes.

You’ve heard the expression, "We can’t know God’s purposes/will”, used as a means to calm fretfulness. This claim is not entirely true. In fact, it can be a door-closer rather than an invitation to reflect and think ”“ and to grow in faith and knowledge of God.

We can indeed know a great deal about God’s purposes - His covenant plan, His hand in human history as protector and provider, His empowering gifts, His eternal blessings and kingdom realities. Here is the lens through which we can see our own personal trials. And what a magnificent lens it is! It is God’s provision through Spirit and Word ”“ the means by which our besetting anxieties can be replaced with vibrant and growing faith.

As for Mary and Joseph, trials and uncertainties cause anxieties to rise to the surface. That’s not a bad thing: It can produce a thirst for deeper understanding of God and his ways. Those who are diligent seekers will be rewarded with restful faith and will, like Mary, find many treasures to store in their hearts.

That day in the temple Jesus posed two thought-provoking questions to his distressed parents. Today His Spirit works in us and among us in a similar way: to encourage a deepening awareness of both ourselves and of God.

Prayer: Lord, teach us to see value in each anxious experience we encounter - be that our own or another’s. May we come to regard these as opportunities for growth in faith, so that in and around us your kingdom may advance and your will may be done on earth.

Jesus's response to his parents reveal his utter freedom from sin. This spiritual freedom explains why he could not be controlled by the anxieties of others - something which so easily happens to we sinners. In his response to Mary Jesus did not become defensive, apologetic, or overly responsible.

In considering Jesus's earthly ministry among the people, it is apparent that he was not afraid to let people's hidden anxieties rise to the surface. To us, it may seem unkind - but Jesus would have seen it as an opportunity for them to mature in faith. And isn't that what's most important!!

Consider how many of our choices (and man-made rules) are driven by anxiety - either our own, or others. We don't want to risk seeing anxiety rise to the surface. It can cause all kinds of negative experiences - potential conflict or rejection, being blamed (like Jesus was).. and so forth. But in trying to abate anxiety we become "overfunctioners". We prevent others from the opportunities to grow in faith. They don't have any reason to deal with their hidden anxiety when we remove the potential for them to experience it or some kind of inner turmoil.

The end product is - not a freedom from anxiety, but an imprisonment to anxiety - and the evidence of unabated immaturity in relationships. And this, in turn, stimulates the formation of more rules - rules to keep the effects of immaturity at bay.

May God help us learn to embrace anxiety and see it as a gift - an opportunity to look toward the freeing grace of Christ.
Diane