Thank you for all of your prayers. Things are better for me, yet still I am waiting for God in regard to many things. I am not involved in anything immoral Roger and I am doing my best to live a repentant life as God reveals things to me. Some time ago I prayed for Him to reveal to me my hidden sin and He still reveals things to me even now -- An example is as I am a supervisor at my work I have been too firm with some subordinates, belittling in their performance in the work place and not taking the time to teach them properly. People who are working to support their families deserve my respect just for that alone! Another example which I actually do believe is immoral is the times (something I have never done intentionally or practiced) I have manipulated others with my choice of words or other actions. God has shown me this is a sin and something many people, even believers use to control others.
But -- I lost my home through foreclosure after the last stock market crash. I had lost a very good job because of all the production curtailments and even though I got work again right away it only paid about half my former salary -- I was able to stay caught up financially for several years with my savings and by picking any and all work I could get, but in the end it was not enough and everything was gone! Perhaps I was in err by going into debt in the first place and then when things became hard I stopped giving. Anyway that seemed to be the beginning of other bad tidings. Financial instability can be very threatening and can easily drive us to despair if we take our eyes off of Christ who really holds all the true riches. I would like to claim the precious protection found in the book of Job -- but certainly I am sure Job was and is a much better man than I!
So now I have accepted my losses in these worldly issues with things like houses, cars, horses and toys and am seeking to honestly just focus on what it is God wants to teach me in His word. I know I made a pretty strong statement in my despair saying I did not know how I could survive -- but in my heart I know God will always provide. It may be just bare basics -- but praise God I am thankful for that and perhaps in His mercy and grace things will get better.
I am asking God to help me everyday and to help me build on that foundation which He has given me who is Christ.
Thank you again! Blessings to each of you Mama, Roger, and Ron -- Blessings to all that seek our King!