a generation unwilling to submit

there was a recent news article about a young woman suing her parents for living expenses, tuition and college fees. This young person turned eighteen and moved out of the family home because the parents say she did not like the rules. she did not want to have to obey their rules, of helping with chores,and keeping a curfew. as i read about this story it reminded me of several other news stories with similar theme of young people who seem to think that they should be able to live however they like and not be accountable to anyone. this generation does seem to have an entitlement attitude but why is that? what has changed so drastically over the past years in this country? could it be that as parents we have given in to much where our children are concerned? could it be that many have fallen away and have ignored the Bible's teachings on how to raise a child? young people are now so self consumed that a number of them expect to be given everything they want when they want it no matter what? i was thinking could it be that what we are seeing is more of the worldly influence on the church in America as a whole? there are even parents whom i know who speak about there children reaching their teenage years with an expectation of them rebelling almost as if it is some kind of right of passage? why if i expect my twelve year old to behave, be respectful, and submit to my authority would i just forget all that because my son/daughter is not thirteen?

rdg

Rainydaygirl,

I think you are right on with what you are saying, all of it plays a part in it, but there's another issue, let me share this with you:

I work as a family support worker, going into people's homes to help them with parenting and life skills. Recently a mother of five looked at me in exasperation, saying, "I've tried everything you taught me and things are a little better, but... these children are still fighting and being mean to each other, no matter what I do!" Now this is a women that is actually a good mother and a Christian, too, and I stood there thinking, she's so right! Here we are, having replaced biblical ways of raising our children with methods developed by psychologists and while they improve some behavioural issues, these methods are powerless to change the nature of the child.

The methods we have been taught to raise our children since the 1960's are based on humanism, on the premise that a person is basically good by nature and we just have to adjust the environment to bring out that good in a child. Well now, after several generations, we can observe the full blown results of this lie. What I should have taught that mother of five I can not propose to her without losing my job and possibly being sued.

Edited to end it on a more constructive note: Please Christian parents, teach your children respect and discipline them for defiance, as well as keeping in mind that overindulging them is actually harmful to them. It's a tough job, approach it with much prayer.

Matthew 8:5- And when Jesus entered Capernaum, a centurion came to Him, imploring Him, and saying, "Lord, my servant is lying paralyzed at home, fearfully tormented.” Jesus said to him, "I will come and heal him.” But the centurion said, "Lord, I am not worthy for You to come under my roof, but just say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I also am a man under authority, with soldiers under me; and I say to this one, ‘Go!’ and he goes, and to another, ‘Come!’ and he comes, and to my slave, ‘Do this!’ and he does it.”

I want to underline the word of Centurion here, he said that he is a man under authority and his soldiers under him obey him. So his soldiers see how he submits to his authority. Instead of thinking that their boss is a powerless man who obeys his superior, they develop a respect for him. They now fear him like how he obeys and fears his authority. This is a simple principle that the centurion applied to Jesus as well. He knew how Jesus did the will of his father, hence he knew that the sickness will submit to Jesus because he submitted to his father. So he had full faith that if Jesus says a word the sickness will depart from his slave.

Same way if a mother wants her children to submit to her and her husband, she should first be under authority of her husband. In complete submission like how Sara lived. But today the concept of wife submitting to her husband is considered as slavery even in Christendom. The word submission is considered evil. In most of the houses we see mothers having their own finances and totally independent of their husband regarding their expenses, they just spend as they wish, without any submission to husband. Hence their Children grow rebellious.

I have observed that in families where the Children grow really God fearing are not just those that disciple their Children but also set a Godly home by having a wonderful husband wife fellowship in which the wife submits to her husband and husband loves his wife like Christ loves the Church. These Children have so much respect for their parents because they see the life in them.

Sree shared:Same way if a mother wants her children to submit to her and her husband, she should first be under authority of her husband. In complete submission like how Sara lived. But today the concept of wife submitting to her husband is considered as slavery even in Christendom. The word submission is considered evil. In most of the houses we see mothers having their own finances and totally independent of their husband regarding their expenses, they just spend as they wish, without any submission to husband. Hence their Children grow rebellious.---

i think this is a valid point. i think it is vitally important for children to see husbands loving and respecting their wives and wives doing the same. when the husband and wife come together and submit their lives to Christ and that is the standard in the home,children see that and it does make a difference. far to often though mom and dad are not living what they teach and children copy what they see more then what they hear some times. it is true that the word submission has almost become a "dirty word" in some christian circles but that does not have to be the case. when a husband loves his wife he treats her with respect as a valuable asset to himself and when a wife loves her husband she wants to show him respect and care by being helpful not a hindrance. Parents who are unity in Christ before their children go a long way in demonstrating the love of Jesus to them.

i think though both parents have been guilty of "giving in" and over indulging children and that has helped to foster this "self" and "me" attitude. there are times when the Lord uses life's hurts, difficulties, and disappointments in order to teach us and grow us into His likeness. if we are always pampering our children, if we spare the rod of correction, then we have no one but ourselves to blame for the outcome. i also believe the effects of humanism and other pop psychology has done much damage, as was mentioned by SolaVeritas. i have seen the effects in my own life these psychology methods of raising children is counter to what the Bible teaches and it has been my experiences fosters the self centered attitudes you see today.

rdg

"Same way if a mother wants her children to submit to her and her husband, she should first be under authority of her husband. In complete submission like how Sara lived. But today the concept of wife submitting to her husband is considered as slavery even in Christendom. The word submission is considered evil. In most of the houses we see mothers having their own finances and totally independent of their husband regarding their expenses, they just spend as they wish, without any submission to their husbands. Hence their Children grow rebellious."

Excellent. I come out of a family with a 'soft' dad and a 'powerful' mom. Of course i grew rebellious as a teenager what didn't end until after reading a Bible the first time and the following supernatural heart transplant through repentance and faith.

At the moment the family as an institution is under very strong attack. Not only among friends, also my own. And the exact cause is the disrespect of the women for their husbands, the non-acceptance of the husbands' authority. And the totally missing understanding of why this always will destroy a family. Either the husband runs away, or the wife quits. Satan wins in about 50% of attempts to push his tour de force on us.

When the wife talks back to the husband in his own house, she is not under any other authority than the enemies. Its like i would be talking back to Jesus and am lecturing him, that's rebellion that is like witchcraft.

Yesterday I had an argument with my wife and she slammed the door into my face. In the evening I came home and they had a house meeting where some religious teacher was shouting out the TV. I had to switch it off, and said this party is over. Go home now, and I will call you, whenever my wife is showing some respect to me as the leader of this house. Look we have been tolerating this independant feminism far too long. All love of the husband is not enough as long as the woman does not repect their husband and starts abusive talkbacks with their little reasonings that all shout 'me me me'. The time to accept that is over. Submit, or go elsewhere. Thank you ladies for listening, now you know why the divorce rate is so high right now.

i think it "both parents" who are responsible for the upbringing of the child. i have seen just as many homes with over authoritarian homes where the wives are treated as if they are children by their husbands, children having no respect for their moms because dad has none. wives are to submit to their husbands that is true but the second part of that is husbands love your wives. sadly you have those out there that want to become task masters to their own wives acting as king ruler of the house, instead of loving their wives as Jesus loved the Church and gave Himself up for her.(Ephesians 5:25)
Over indulgence or a complete lack of involvement is at the root of this issue with today's children. Children see their parents behaving one way(usually rebellious) and then they follow and mimic that behavior. if we want to teach our children to follow Jesus we need to be doing that in our own lives. the Bible does give us a way on how to raise a child and both parents must be committed first to Christ, second to each other, and third to loving the child enough to say no and to give correction as well as praise.
the enemy knows how to work both men and woman today to cause destruction in the lives of the family and that is why we are seeing what we are today.
rdg

Sree, there was a time i didn't understand what Matthew 8:5 actually means. I'm glad that you understand it perfectly, it reflects the order of God, and is a sign of great faith to practise it.

THEN we can talk about love, without that it's totally a fictious, or bogus love. Empty words, not based on Abrahamic faith. Galatians 5:6 But faith which worketh by love. (that is true faith)

Met a friend last night, that is not married yet, and he said, women are still all concerned about "security". THEN they accept, submit and follow. If a man ignores that 'genetic inbuilt program' just for a month because he's too busy with other things, women try to take over the house. Something that is so predictable and never changes, however life sometimes creates these situations, and the resulting conversation is usually based on logic vs emotions. And where is all that "spiritual understanding" you claimed to have dear woman? Suddenly you reduce yourself to pure emotionalism.

Instead what women really should be doing is to support their man, ANYWAY and in full faith and nothing but unwaivering faith. Woman are created for that exact purpose, and anyone that is outside of that will of God, is walking outside the economy of God.

That has nothing to do with being authoarian, what is not the same at all. That would be a concept based on a position that does not accept the natural authority as created by God. Thats humanism. Every woman does not live for herself, that is just moderism and far away from spiritual and practical reality as descibed by scripture. Now we choose to talk about 'perfect love' instead and abolutley have no idea what that means. Ok, explain it to those what it means in scriptural terms, and they will turn around and leave the room.

2 John 1:6  And this is love, that we walk after his commandments. This is the commandment, That, as ye have heard from the beginning, ye should walk in it.

Ephesians 3:17  That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God. Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.

The apostle is not saying that our wives do not have strength of character or moral fortitude, or even intellectual capacity but rather that we should be considerate of them because they are weaker than us in physical strength and women are vulnerable to being taken advantage of by men (attack, abuse, etc). Some husbands just bowl right over their wives because of pride and the fact that they are stronger and don't have to worry about being defended against. Some men will "have it their way" even if it means financial ruin for the family.

No, The apostle does not refer to Physical weakness here. THere are many heathen husbands who never raise their hand against their wives. One does not need divine wisdom to not physically hurt his wife. Hence there is no need for divine understanding to live with a physically weak wife.

The weakness that apostle refers here is emotional weakness. Women are naturally made very sensitive with tender emotions. They can be easily hurt emotionally. The reason God made them is way is for them to have the motherly instincts. There are certain things that only a mother can do to a child through her instincts that a father can never understand or do. For example the mother knows exactly why the child is crying, she wakes up the moment the child starts to cry. All this is possible because God made women very sensitive.

Now the apostle is saying that to live with such sensitive women a man needs divine wisdom to understand his wife and her sensitive nature. There are certain words that never hurts a man but women may find a meaning out of it and get hurt. Something that a man naturally cannot understand. That is why Apostle says that we need wisdom and understanding not to hurt our wife by our careless speech.

Of course, we are constantly learning how to do this, gaining more and more insight into our wife and her needs.

I agree this is something that we need to learn all our life. With close to 2.5 years of married life, I still make mistakes with my words to my wife and hurt her feelings. Instead of wanting her to change and become less sensitive, I need to learn how to have my words salted by grace.

I once shared God's word in a Church and was referring to 1 Peter 3:7 and was explaining similar things about how a Husband needs wisdom to live in an understanding way. After I finished, the Church elder (who happens to be my father in law), spoke on how women should not take advantage of this understanding way and get things done that pleases them. As an elder to that Church he had a burden to speak against wives and how they take advantage. He balanced all my points by being strict against sisters who take advantage. So the point is in a family there needs to be a balance, God used the elder to bring the balance on that Sunday sermon. He had the spiritual authority to rebuke the sisters in the Church and correct them. Similarly in a family as well there needs to be a balance for bringing Glory to God.

so i think all the talk about wives is kind of off topic. while i do believe that an unstable family life can contribute to rebellious children, its clearly not always the wives fault. it takes two parents to raise a child up as they should go. i kind of feel like this is becoming about women being submissive and that wasn't the point to the thread. its about children being in rebellion and not respecting their parents, its about a generation of young people expecting to be given everything and anything they like when they want it. what i am seeing is a generation of young people who have been so self indulged all they care about is "I" and this is not the way the Bible tells us we should be raising our children.

not saying you can't talk about wives but it kind of feels like things have gotten off track.

rdg

just-in....Often, if you spend about at least 30 minutes with a child, you can tell what the parents are like. Kids are a mirror reflecting their most important relationships. Isn't that true of all of us?

i kind of feel like this is becoming about women being submissive and that wasn't the point to the thread. its about children being in rebellion and not respecting their parents, its about a generation of young people expecting to be given everything and anything they like when they want it. what i am seeing is a generation of young people who have been so self indulged all they care about is "I" and this is not the way the Bible tells us we should be raising our children.

rdg, I agree with your observations, both of the propensity to fixate on the "submission” theme, and also of the current crisis of youth. You note the influence of our societal worldviews, such as narcissism, individualism, hedonism, etc. Isn’t this is about the proverbial fruit of the Garden ”“ the desire to be god, self master?? Yet it would be a mistake to stand in judgment on our youth ”“ as if they themselves consciously chose to buck God. Our youth are both victims and agents of their culture, their families, their education, media, peers, etc ”“ and their own sin bondage. Indeed, our youth make destructive choices, but they are also bent to do so. This is not about blame- whether blaming the wife (as Adam did) or the devil (as Eve did). It’s about facing the effects of human lostness and then considering God’s remedy.

And if we believe that "submission” would remedy the problem, we have surely wandered far from the great Gospel promise. Here I’m referring to "submission” as implied all too often on this forum: from a worldly perspective: passive compliance to those with the power advantages ”“ be that parent, employer, emperor, or male. That kind of submission is sin just as much as any. It is not love, but merely feeds the "authority's"craving for power and domination. It is failure to walk by faith in our destiny. ”“

Let’s not look at our societal problems through this worldly paradigm ”“ lest we merely repeat the tragic outcomes of our society’s past ”“ and miss our wonderful destiny and hope.. and fail to pass it on to the next generation.

Diane