Am I wrong

So I ask God for a help mate. A partner in ministry. So am wrong to ask such?

No, not at all.

He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22 NIV

George Fox was in his middle 40s when he married Margaret Fell, that was in the 17th century when 39-40 was the average life expectancy, The average Life expectancy is around 75 now.

I would say Pray believing and be content to what ever becomes of the answer.

Sorry to be dampener. But I think wisdom is with Paul instruction. As it was times of troubles then so its now .Its not the right time to get married now even if you are much younger.
You will need all the time and energy you have to serve in the cause of the Lord very soon. You wont be lonely when you are preoccupied helping in his vineyard

The Lord Bless you

KPYee wrote:

Sorry to be dampener. But I think wisdom is with Paul instruction. As it was times of troubles then so its now .Its not the right time to get married now even if you are much younger.
You will need all the time and energy you have to serve in the cause of the Lord very soon. You wont be lonely when you are preoccupied helping in his vineyard

The Lord Bless you

I think this is a key passage to consider:

"27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you."-1Cor. 7:27-28

I would encourage not to pray for a wife because we do not see any example or encouragement for such a prayer request in the New Testament. Paul says clearly by inspiration of the Holy Spirit, not to seek for a wife if you do not have one.

I remember that as a single Christian I was getting anxious in wanting to find a wife and I was praying about it and ended up praying, "Lord, I pray for your will to be done and that you give me the strength to wait or to be celibate and content if that is your will for the rest of my life."

I remember that after I prayed that I was truly content in my singleness for a long while, totally focused on serving the Lord and loving it; I was no longer anxious about finding a wife. Afterward I suddenly met my lovely wife, we got married and had two lovely children and the rest is history. Not saying it's going to turn out like that for you brother but just to encourage you to hang in there and pray for the Lord's will.

RE: ///I remember that as a single Christian I was getting anxious in wanting to find a wife and I was praying about it and ended up praying, "Lord, I pray for your will to be done and that you give me the strength to wait or to be celibate and content if that is your will for the rest of my life."

I remember that after I prayed that I was truly content in my singleness for a long while, totally focused on serving the Lord and loving it; I was no longer anxious about finding a wife. Afterward I suddenly met my lovely wife, we got married and had two lovely children and the rest is history///

That is almost verbatim of my testimony. It was when I let go that God did the work.

I don't think it's wrong to ask, providing the motive is for the glory of God. I'm not trying to be pious either, for I myself am single, 42 years of age, never been married nor engaged.
At times, the same thoughts have run through my mind Blaine, I must confess; but, then other thoughts run through my mind such as these (to name a few):
1) If I am fully content with loving the Lord with all my mind, heart, soul, and strength, then what is this desire to have a wife? Is it my desire (and surely it is if I am constantly pondering it), or am I not as content with God as I think I am?
2)What a responsibility marriage is! Am I ready for such a thing, or do I deceive myself in thinking I am ready for such a thing?
3)Is my flesh taking over? Is that why I am pondering such a thing? Is it what I want, or what the Lord desires for me?
4)How much am I praying now, and spending time in my prayer-closet? Will I spend more time in prayer after I have more responsibilities?
5)Am I not pleased with God's will for my life? Am I praying for a wife against the will of God?
6)If I hardly spend time alone with God now, what makes me think I will spend more time with Him alone once I'm married?
7)Can I do more for the glory of God without being married; or, will I do more for the glory of God once I am married?
These have been questions that I have pondered. When I set my affections on things above though, oh, what contentment comes to me. Sometimes I hear, "Is not My grace sufficient?", and then I despise myself and tremble.
Anyway, I would just be honest with the Lord in your prayers (not saying you aren't), and bring your requests to Him.
I am sorry to hear that you feel lonely some times though, for feeling lonely is terrible; but i have found it is also good - for it has revealed much about myself to myself.
May the Lord be with you graciously through this time, and grant you wisdom concerning this matter, for His glory.

"Am I wrong"

Absolutely NOT!

Genesis 2:22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, he made woman, and brought her to the man.

Moses now relates that marriage was divinely instituted, which is especially useful to be known; for since Adam did not take a wife to himself at his own will, but received her as offered and appropriated to him by God, the sanctity of marriage hence more clearly appears, because we recognize God as its Author. The more Satan has endeavored to dishonor marriage, the more should we vindicate it from all reproach and abuse, that it may receive its due reverence. Thence it will follow that the children of God may embrace a conjugal life with a good and tranquil conscience, and husbands and wives may live together in chastity and honor. The artifice of Satan in attempting the defamation of marriage was twofold: first, that by means of the odium attached to it he might introduce the pestilential law of celibacy; and, secondly, that married persons might indulge themselves in whatever license they pleased. Therefore, by showing the dignity of marriage, we must remove superstition, lest it should in the slightest degree hinder the faithful from chastely using the lawful and pure ordinance of God; and further, we must oppose the lasciviousness of the flesh, in order that men may live modestly with their wives. But if no other reason influenced us, yet this alone ought to be abundantly sufficient, that unless we think and speak honorably of marriage, reproach is attached to its Author and Patron, for such God is here described as being by Moses. J.C.

Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone: I will make him a help meet for him.

Although God pronounced, concerning Adam, that it would not be profitable for him to be alone, yet I do not restrict the declaration to his person alone, but rather regard it as a common law of man’s vocation, so that every one ought to receive it as said to himself, that solitude is not good, excepting only him whom God exempts as by a special privilege. Many think that celibacy conduces to their advantage,and therefore, abstain from marriage, lest they should be miserable. Not only have heathen writers defined that to be a happy life which is passed without a wife, but the first book of Jerome, against Jovinian, is stuffed with petulant reproaches, by which he attempts to render hallowed wedlock both hateful and infamous. To these wicked suggestions of Satan let the faithful learn to oppose this declaration of God, by which he ordains the conjugal life for man, not to his destruction, but to his salvation. J.C.

Christ Our Life - Part 1 by Art Katz

Topic: Christ\t
Description: Rather than establishing our life on the basis of our own natural endowments, our gifting, our intellect, Art suggests that there is another Life that is made available for those who sincerely desire to disown their own.

https://www.sermonindex.net/modules/mydownloads/visit.php?lid=21386

https://www.sermonindex.net/modules/mydownloads/visit.php?lid=21387

Don't be discouraged brother, there is more to the implications of marriage in regard to serving Christ than what is commonly understood. If you are given the joy of a beloved sister, it may be God's instrument to draw to closer to Christ through conformity in suffering. Grace and peace on you.

I am not sure whether I understood your question correctly. Asking a wife means a person has desire in him to get married. There is nothing wrong with this desire.

In matthew 19 - 11 Jesus said-
The disciples *said to Him, "If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry.” 11 But He said to them, "Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it.”

I had the desire to be married so I got married to a women whom I believe is God's will for me at the age of 28. I thoroughly believe that if a man has desire to be married then he is not called to serve alone. This is exactly what Jesus meant here. Not all are called to serve alone. I cannot accept the statement to serve alone so I got married. This desire is God given, why should we blame our self?

I think when people are young some are too zealous for God that they think they can serve alone. But when aged they realize it was not given for them from heaven to serve this way. They can always correct the mistake they made out of zeal at young age. I do not find anything wrong with this.

Greetings Blaine

I don't think you are wrong in seeking GOD on this matter. There is nothing in the WORD that tells us not to pray and ask GOD for a help mate. I think the only time such a request could become an issue is in how one responds to HIS answer once given.

In the meantime I pray you will find fellowship with other brothers/sisters in CHRIST so that you will be encouraged daily in HIM!!

God bless
maryjane

Mr. Bear, same age here and same life as you. Although I was married for 38 years and now a widower. I have thought about a relationship, but one, I am beginning to enjoy the single life, and two, we are not alone, remember the Holy Spirit resides in us. 2 Timothy 1:14...That good thing which was committed unto thee keep by the Holy Ghost which dwelleth in us. Yes your absolutely right! no denying it, I do get lonely every now and then, but I live on a acre of property, were something always needs done. I also help take care of my 82 year old mom and 87 year old stepfather with Alzheimer’s; I just try my best to keep my mind and body busy. Even at 62, I have been told I don't look 62 and I sure don't feel 62, even though after all I have been through in the past few years, I should look 90 and feel 100.

I feel about 40 because I have always been on some sort of workout program with weights almost my whole life, mostly for toning not really for building. Yes it sounds like we are in the same boat, except you have not had the opportunity to marry. Personally I enjoyed being married, it was good for me, but I see some folks that should have never married, "just my opinion”. Problem with folks our age is, it’s hard to find a companion for coffee, supper, movies, "most” women at our age want a relationship; this is what I have found during my short travel as a widower.

One last thing, yes I do get lonely at times, but I am still happy, so I can tell you a person can be single and happy, because at one point in my life I would have told you a single person can’t be happy. I stay busy mentally and physically and will stay busy physically as long as God blesses me with the strength to. I really wished I had better advise to offer, but this is coming from someone that was married for 38 years, so I have not walked in the single shoes for to many miles to give much more advice. I agree with MJ, keep it in Prayer, it's the most we can do.

Brother, although I am only 43 and have been married for 13 years, I can say with confidence that no man can really answer your question. Even Paul the Apostle, when pressed (as the Corinthian believers asked him the very question you are asking), had to admit he had no inspired directive from God. He could only give his own opinion on the matter. Now, if what you want is man's opinion, you've come to right place ;) If intimacy is primarily what you're after (be honest with yourself), then, yes, it would be wise to marry - scripturally speaking. But if you are looking for plutonic companionship, then Paul actually disadvises marriage. The reason is having a wife will ultimately become a burden to you - after the newness of the "honeymoon experience" dissapates. You've probably been single for far too long to handle this kind of transformation for the long haul. Marriage is not easy. It is the most difficult, trying, humbling, self-denying thing a person can encounter. Even if he/she is getting married for the "right" reason - it is no cakewalk. Which is why Paul advises against it unless you absolutely "must" (for sexual reasons).

John Wesley tried marriage in his later years, and it was mistake, bringing him much sorrow. George Whitefield tried it, and it was a mistake for him too. Success in marriage has nothing with godliness. Some men are simply better off staying single, if they can keep their passions in check. If you can't - get married. According to Paul's opinion in scripture, that would be the best reason for someone in your situation.

It's my uninspired opinion too, since you asked for it publically ;)

Brother,

I have not lived as long as you have, since I am only 27. I have not married as of yet nor do I date around or anything like that. There are certain qualities, Biblical qualities, that I am looking for in myself and in my future wife (if the Lord is willing). That being said, I do look around and watch the women around my age and see how they act. I do not want to sound judgmental, but there are so few who strive to even remotely be what the scriptures say they ought to be.

You might not struggle with this, but I am not even ready to have a wife. If I got married today, I would be a far-cry from the husband that I need to be.

I pray for a wife often, but the Lord knows that I am willing to die a single man if 1) He isn't going to get any glory and it is not His will 2) by getting married I will yoke myself to someone who does not desire the Lord or 3) That some poor woman would be yoked to a man who has not prepared himself to be a husband.

Hey Blaine,

let me give you the lowdown. At one point I was tired of chasing women. I just got fed up.
Then I prayed for some solitude resolution, l'll decided not going to chase them again. ever again.

My prayer was concise. Like 'please show me one of them YOU would like to give to me' outside
of my usual frequency of visits, which actually just been restaurants, night venues etc.

No surprise here, about one week later I did try a new wholesaler for my kind of items,
so I selected some italian style earrings and turned around, and boom there she was!

Yes she was working for that store back in the 90's, and someone said to me, dont leave
today before talking to her. Which was trouble to me, because i was such a shy guy
at the time, not for business, but for relationships.

And she was a fanatic Hindu at the time. I went with my faith, if you ask something from Jesus
He will not give you a frog.

It took years for her to realize that, but man, it was worth it. Today this girl brings more people to
Christ, than I do. Yeah, I give up, she's pure, she;'s honest, and we learn from each other,
every single day, now we're married for 16 years, and we truly love each other. more than in
the beginning. In the beginning:

all I had was faith.

and there is no way anyone can compromise that

I am certainly not looking to "debate" the issue. However, here are just a couple of thoughts for consideration on the topic.

1. It was when Adam was in a perfect state of total communion with the Father that the Father also stated, "The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18 (NIV). Do you see that ... in a perfect state of unbroken communion with the Trinity ... no sin ... no distractions ... absolute perfect fellowship with the Father that the same Father stated it was not good for the man to not have a helpmate similar to him. I hear a lot of rhetoric stating that an unmarried person should take their communion with God to be sufficient. However, even in the unbroken state of innocence that Adam dwelt with the Father it does not appear that is true. God Himself seems to say otherwise.

2. Many folks seem to take Paul's admonition to not seek a wife as a directive for today. It has already been discussed that Paul himself stated this was his opinion ... not a word from the Lord. We also see in scripture that other apostles had spouses. The following verses were quoted often as a reason to not marry

Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this. 1 Cor 7:27-28 NIV

However, as always context REALLY makes a difference. If a person takes the previous verse they will see that Paul actually said that was a momentary thing for the extreme persecution they were under. If a person reads the previous verses they find Paul actually qualified that statement by saying

25. Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. 26. BECAUSE OF THE PRESENT CRISIS, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is.

That is an entirely different proposition altogether. Due to the intense persecution of that moment at that place in history it was a better option ... it was in no way indicated that Paul's opinion in that specific situation was to be a perpetual option or even applied in other circumstances. We are in no such persecution in the West. The clear indication is that when that momentary severe persecution passed so would Paul's opinion of that matter. Now if I were in Syria or Iraq at the moment I would have to agree with Paul's idea. However, to force that interpretation to a culture that is in no way under that same situation is clearly a violation of the scriptures authors intent.

These two things -

1. God Himself said that Adam (a man) should not be alone even in the unbroken state of communion in the garden of Eden and needed a wife. Evidently God Himself did not feel He was sufficient to meet all of Adam's needs as it was not good to remain in that state. He said so Himself!

2. Paul's very narrow application of his opinion of refraining from marriage until the current severe persecution crisis had abated. He clearly indicates that unless a community is under that severe crisis persecution that marriage was a preferable state. His opinion has a very narrow application.

These two facts make it seem obvious to me that marriage is far preferable unless one is specifically called to life long celibacy. Unless a person can say beyond any shadow of a doubt that they have been called specifically by God to a lifetime of celibate servanthood then they should by all means marry. It is not good for them to be alone.

I guess we could spin this and ask, how on earth did you manage to get to be 62 years old and never married? You may be really blessed and not know it. One good way to find out just how blessed you have been is get married. Of course we all know that God has a plan for each of us , my guess is his plan for you was to be single, I bet he's used you and a lot of ways, that if you would have been married, you may not of been able to carry out. Yes, I would have to say that loneliness is one of the only things in my short single life, that I have yet to figure out how to overcome. Now of course we all know that happiness has to come within. I have never really had much money in my life, so I don't know personally if money can make a person happy/happier or not, my brother he did have money, and he use to always tell me, that money may not buy happiness, but it sure makes living in misery a whole lot easier.

RE: ///It took years for her to realize that, but man, it was worth it. Today this girl brings more people to
Christ, than I do. Yeah, I give up, she's pure, she;'s honest, and we learn from each other,
every single day, now we're married for 16 years, and we truly love each other. more than in
the beginning. In the beginning:
all I had was faith.
and there is no way anyone can compromise that///

Wounderful Testimony !!

When I used to go to the Baptist Church I remember an attractive girl that as she was getting older did what few girls ever do, She went down to the alter and poured her heart out that God would send her a husband I mean just weeping and weeping. I seen God answer that Prayer quickly And she is happily married now.

Take your every care to prayer brother, I have been there.