Hey Hez,What's goin on with you?
Have you considered going into the highways and byways,as you very well know that the harvest is plenteous and the laborers few!
You may do some good for others if you were face to face with the many faces who are out and about with needs for compassion.
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I have not been called.
let me say that a little louder:
I HAVE NOT BEEN CALLED!....and I am not foolish to play games with God, because I fear God, and I've seen men in their foolish religioustic or humanistic ego, "go out there" IN THEIR WEAK AND PITIFUL FLESH...and "try to do something for God", as if the Master od the Universe, Yahweh, needs man, do anything "for" Him?
especially when said man, has NOT been called?
I've watched many men give sermons, soaked in religious pride, veritable "ten shekel and a shirt" hirelings, putting themselves "out there" to be seen......say the doxology, and then head to the Denny's with the trustee's to plan the next "event"......not me.
and dear one, at one time in this life, I was a trained performer, professional, money making.....believe me, if I was a wicked foolish deceitful son of the dark, I could rent a tent, and go cross country with "revival meetings", and put on a show you would not believe, i'd weep, i'd moan, I'd shout, i'd shumbala mumbala to beat the band, and at the end of the evening, i'd be counting those buckets of money, huckstered out of the helpless hapless sheep of God.
But I love the Lord Jesus too much, mounting that Cross, shedding the Blood, and not only do I FEAR God...I know His Voice...and he has not Called me.
for some when they read the Word of God, its almost like an abstract, I can see that angel flying to Isaiah with the tongs and the fiery wood.
You don't KNOW me, God does....I destroyed my marriage....to my best friend, I was adulterous, we both were....aint a drug I haven't done....and you want me to go out there without a Call?
Every morning, i'm in the Word, and praying, and for the last two years, I've been overcome with Grief........not human sorrow, Godly grief....lay on my face, over two years, weeping.....knowing the Storm that's coming....so you want me to go out there....You?...without a Calling, and tell the people:
"ANNOINT YOURSELVES FOR BURIAL!! BECAUSE THIS LAND WILL BE SALTED WITH FIRE.....YOU'LL WATCH YOUR BABIES BURN LIKE A PORK ROAST IN NUCLEAR FIRE?!?
or should I do this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ey1Z0VhAQdA
is that what I should do?
My whole family is barely hanging on....I cant tell them, all I can do is ALWAYS be there with my limited resources just to get them thru another month, trusting in God, interceding for them......healing things with the mother of my son, praying that she see me different and we re-marry, because for 15 years, I have known no other woman?
only a fleshling goes out into the harvest without a Call.
others of us, Wait on God, despite our weakness and failings, of which I have many.
don't think i'm angry with you, I love you, I just wish your exhortation would embrace wisdom a little bit more, which is ironic coming for somebody like me, in Jesus love, neil