if you have really forgiven someone for hurts they have caused you would you keep talking about it? would you keep going over again and again, bringing up things they have done in the past?
what does it really mean to forgive and what does that look like? Jesus forgives us and it says our sins are buried in the deep ocean? if that is our example how should we follow that?
thoughts
rdg
Hi Sis
Good question! Drawing from 1 Cor 13 love does not rejoice in wrongdoing it is patient and love cover a multitude of sins. I was thinking on this when your child or mother does you wrong we easily forgive and forget. We do not keep count that is if you have a normal loving relationship on the other hand if it is other people we say we forgive but like you said we continue to go over and over and tell any sympathetic ear that will listen what wrong has been done to us. Personally I am measuring this practice up against the word from 1 Cor 13 now I know who I love and who I don't love who I have forgiven truly and who I haven't forgiven truly because of meditating on the love chapter.
Can you imagine Jesus having laid down His life as a ransom for all continually daily saying I have forgiven you but remember last year you stole, you committed adultery, you were a prostitute and Him sharing all your wrongdoings with fellow brethren? I think true forgiveness doesn't continually go over and over an offence but let's go completely but albeit you do not forget the offence however if it is continually brought up then perhaps the healing process has not completed and one needs to pray for the grace to totally forgive. For out of the abundance of heart the mouth speaks forth! So if I find myself continually talking about a wrong done to me then I take it that I have not forgiven truly.
Rdg,
I,too have searched / sought for an answer about how can we know that we have truly fogave someone.and this is the answer I got.
'When you no longer wish to inflict punishment upon that person,both verbally, or physically,...you have forgiven them.'
Also,to not talk about the person / problem,don't think about it.(When it comes up,..wipe it from our minds)
We know that it is a must that we forgive,because the Word says that if we do not forgive,then our Heavenly Father will not forgive us.
And if He does not forgive us,then where will that leave us to spend eternity?
elizabeth
i find it interesting how many time i have caught myself telling another about past hurts that some person has caused me only to follow it up with, "but I forgive them"
as i heard myself talking i just began to really wonder if i was being honest with myself. if i had truly forgiven would i really be bringing it all back up again and again?
i have notice many other christian women who do this to. i wonder if its possible to think you really have forgiven when in truth we actually hold on to hurts. i don't think healing really can begin until we let the pain go and stop talking about it. i find this especially true of those who are still talking about wrongs that have happened years ago.
rdg
How an infinitely perfect, supreme, holy God is willing, not only to grant me mercy for my open rebellion, but to pour grace upon me by believing in his Son Jesus Christ!
Forgiveness is a painful topic because many of us fail on this one issue. We feel justified in our anger towards hurts hurled our way by trusted people. It is only trusted people who have let us down where we find the greatest difficulty, I think.
I have learned that when I stay close to the LORD these hurts have no effect on me at all - in fact I can see how God has used them to destroy idolatry that resided in my heart. God allowed me to experience these hurts to force me into trusting Him. Had I not experienced these emotional pains, I am not sure I would have learned to trust the LORD.
I have experienced a lot of pain because I was not loved by my mom. This was confirmed to me by a variety of cousins. I grew up with fear motivating my every decision. Today, this situation has changed - radically. Anyone who says old people cannot and do not change have never met my mom! In any case, God used this to shape and mold me and he isn't done yet, I promise. But I can look back and not hold any bitterness against her. What decisions I made based on fear is my fault, no one else's. God is going to hold me accountable for me and He will not let me slip by with the excuse that so-and-so failed me. To do so would mean God's redeeming power is limited.
Scripture tells us that ALL things work together for good to those who love the LORD. Not for those who do not love him but for those who do - huge difference. Since this is the case, we trust in the sovereignty of God who allows bad things to happen, who allows us to make stupid decisions. We all learn by this that we are not smart and very stupid in ourselves - that we need a Savior and the Holy Spirit to guide us..
Yes, I believe it is possible to speak of the past hurts without rancor and pain but too many times doing so will only re-inflame bad emotions that we thought we had repented of. Since this is the case, we do well to remember the words of Jesus when he said that anyone who has put his hand to the plow and looks back is not fit for the kingdom of heaven. Know what that means?
Before GPS was around directing tractors that work the soil, plowing a straight furrow was done by sight. The operator focused onto a distant object and with his hand on the steering wheel directed his tractor and plow to this object. If he ever looked back or elsewhere he plowed crooked. To fix that crooked furrow is no fun. Jesus says if you look back you are not fit for the kingdom of heaven. RDG, this comment has ministered to me so many times - I grew up on a working farm where we had animals and did row cropping so I understand the analogy Jesus used. One cannot look back and relive these painful events. In fact, forgiveness will accept them as a reality of life without any bitterness. Bad things are going to happen to the best of people. It is how one deals with it whether it becomes a stumbling block or a step in growth. And it will not go away until we have learned the lesson God wants us to learn. Refusal to do so only prolongs it.
God bless.
ginnyrose
by ginnyrose on 2014/7/7 6:47:51
Forgiveness is a painful topic because many of us fail on this one issue. We feel justified in our anger towards hurts hurled our way by trusted people. It is only trusted people who have let us down where we find the greatest difficulty, I think.
I have learned that when I stay close to the LORD these hurts have no effect on me at all - in fact I can see how God has used them to destroy idolatry that resided in my heart. God allowed me to experience these hurts to force me into trusting Him. Had I not experienced these emotional pains, I am not sure I would have learned to trust the LORD.
I have experienced a lot of pain because I was not loved by my mom. This was confirmed to me by a variety of cousins. I grew up with fear motivating my every decision. Today, this situation has changed - radically. Anyone who says old people cannot and do not change have never met my mom! In any case, God used this to shape and mold me and he isn't done yet, I promise. But I can look back and not hold any bitterness against her. What decisions I made based on fear is my fault, no one else's. God is going to hold me accountable for me and He will not let me slip by with the excuse that so-and-so failed me. To do so would mean God's redeeming power is limited.
Scripture tells us that ALL things work together for good to those who love the LORD. Not for those who do not love him but for those who do - huge difference. Since this is the case, we trust in the sovereignty of God who allows bad things to happen, who allows us to make stupid decisions. We all learn by this that we are not smart and very stupid in ourselves - that we need a Savior and the Holy Spirit to guide us..
Yes, I believe it is possible to speak of the past hurts without rancor and pain but too many times doing so will only re-inflame bad emotions that we thought we had repented of. Since this is the case, we do well to remember the words of Jesus when he said that anyone who has put his hand to the plow and looks back is not fit for the kingdom of heaven. Know what that means?
Before GPS was around directing tractors that work the soil, plowing a straight furrow was done by sight. The operator focused onto a distant object and with his hand on the steering wheel directed his tractor and plow to this object. If he ever looked back or elsewhere he plowed crooked. To fix that crooked furrow is no fun. Jesus says if you look back you are not fit for the kingdom of heaven. RDG, this comment has ministered to me so many times - I grew up on a working farm where we had animals and did row cropping so I understand the analogy Jesus used. One cannot look back and relive these painful events. In fact, forgiveness will accept them as a reality of life without any bitterness. Bad things are going to happen to the best of people. It is how one deals with it whether it becomes a stumbling block or a step in growth. And it will not go away until we have learned the lesson God wants us to learn. Refusal to do so only prolongs it.
God bless.
ginnyrose
_______________________
Ginnyrose
AMEN!! to what you shared here. Really good seeds in what you shared. Thank you for writing this.
God bless
mj
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